


Suffocating

by SamWinchesterIsAHero



Series: Starting Over [18]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Angry Dean, Angry Sam, Domestic Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Domestic Disputes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fever, Fever Dreams, Graphic Birth Scene, Hallucinations, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Lucifer's Cage, M/M, Married Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Miscarriage, More tags to be added, Mpreg, Newborn Children, Nightmares, Obsession, Panic Attacks, Past Miscarriage, Past Mpreg, Past Torture, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sam, Psychological Torture, Purgatory, Sam has Nightmares, Separations, Torture, birth scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-05-12 13:09:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 46,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5667235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamWinchesterIsAHero/pseuds/SamWinchesterIsAHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Sam gets further along in his pregnancy, he suddenly is feeling much more weak and tired then before. He pushes himself a bit to much beyond his limits and has to pay the price. After getting a fever, Sam starts hallucinating, and has a panic attack passing out while home alone. Dean finds him and immediately takes him to the hospital, worried about both Sam and the baby.<br/>After the panic attack and hallucination, his nightmares are back though. Now Sam must again battle his inner demons, not only for himself but for his son's health.<br/>Also, Dean, hurt from Sam pushing him away over his nightmares, lies to Sam and leaves on a hunt, where he ends up someplace he never thought he would be again.<br/>While Dean fights to get back to Sam, Sam starts questioning Dean's fidelity to him, resulting in him falling into the arms of another man.<br/>With a son on the way and a marriage on the line the Winchesters must make choices that will dictate the rest of their lives.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> So, I got this AMAZING story idea from Djahane_Hale. So thank you!  
> Also, I will try to update this story as much and as soon as I can, but I take a little while because I want to make my writings as great as I can, so they take a little while. I'm busy with life also so I'll try and do my best!

Sam sighed in relief as he walked through the front door, releasing Bear from his leash so he could run into the house.  
Sam had quickly came to love Bear, and he enjoyed playing, cuddling, and overall spending time with the energetic puppy. The only problem though, Sam being home all day, was the only one to be able to play with and walk the puppy for a majority of the day. Of course, a couple months ago this wouldn't have been a problem, but now that he was seven months pregnant, and suddenly tired all the time, it was a challenge to simply go and play fetch in the backyard; much less go for a walk.  
Sam set the leash down on the little table in the entrance, walking into the living room he collapsed down on the couch. A nap was just what he needed right now. A good, long nap. Sam closed his eyes, letting sleep quickly over come him.

Sam's eyes shot open, quickly rolling off the couch he made his way as fast as his pregnant body would let him to the bathroom, hand clasped over his mouth. Dropping to his knees in front of the toilet Sam threw up the contents of his stomach. Once he was done, he shakily stood up, rinsing his mouth and splashing some cold water on his face. It was strange, he didn't really have morning sickness anymore, but for the past few days he had suddenly been getting sick more, as well as it felt like the energy was just being drained from him, more so than it had been before. As well he just didn't feel good overall, he was just constantly tired, and weak. No matter how much he slept he just woke up tired. He figured it was just from the pregnancy, lots of expecting parents had a rough patch in their pregnancy, he had read about it. Just one point in your pregnancy that seemed to take more out of you than any other part. He honestly felt though like he was re-doing the trials, the weakness and tiredness was so much like them.  
Sighing Sam walked out of the bathroom, heading to the kitchen to start making supper.

The next day Sam woke up to morning sickness. Once he stood up to rinse his mouth out he had to suddenly grasp the bathroom counter as a wave of dizziness overtook him. Taking deep breaths, he sat down on the toilet seat, waiting for the dizziness to pass; once it had, Sam stood up, rinsed out his mouth, and made his way downstairs to make himself some breakfast, do some work, then take Bear out for a walk. 

Honestly, he knew he shouldn't probably be taking Bear on walks, not alone and away from home; but he needed to get out of the house sometimes, needed the fresh air and exercise. Sam instantly regretted the decision when a wave of dizziness overtook him, so strong his vision started spotting. Sitting down carefully on the grass Sam took deep breaths, willing himself not to pass out. There was no one around, not at this time of the day. Everyone was at work, if he passed out there probably wouldn't be any help. Once he was able to see without spots in his vision or feeling like he was going to pass out, Sam stood up carefully. Bear was nudging him, clearly concerned about his owner. Sam patted the pup, reassuring him. Once he was standing up fully Sam steadied himself, glad the dizziness was gone. In it's wake though it had left a massive headache. It felt like jackhammers were going off in his head. Clenching his eyes shut Sam righted himself before opening them and heading back home immediately. 

Once he was through the front door, Sam let Bear off his leash, heading for his and Dean's room. Glancing at the bedside clock once he laid down on his and Dean's bed Sam groaned, it was already to late to start supper. Hopefully Dean would be willing to order out. At the moment though, Sam didn't feel hungry at all. The only thing he wanted to do was to sleep. 

Sam jerked awake, feeling a hand gently shaking him. Turning his head slightly he was able to see his husband looking at him concerned. Dean was saying something but Sam was still to much asleep and out of it to trh and understand. Instead he mumbled a slurred "I'm fine," and "order yourself something, not hungry" before he fell asleep; ignoring his husband's concerned voice.  
Later that night Sam rolled into Dean's warm, comforting embrace. Happy that Dean didn't try to talk to him, and simply went to sleep. Sam was still to tired for any sort of conversation.  
The next morning Sam woke briefly, just enough to feel Dean's lips on his forehead, and his husband whispering a soft "I love you" before he fell asleep again.

Heat, cold. How can those two things mix? Heat and cold aren't suppose to mix, aren't to be together. Flashes of pain. Lighting, some sort of light. Someone was laughing, he knew that laugh. He had spent over a century listening to that laugh. Listening as it talked to him, yelled and insulted him, tried to beat and break him down in every physical and psychological way possible. It couldn't be though. He was at home, he was with Dean. He was at his and Dean's home, pregnant with their son. _he _couldn't be here. There? Was there a "there?" The only time cold and heat mixed so well was when he was in the cage, surrounded by the fires of hell, when he was being touched and tortured by Lucifer. By the one who was cold. He couldn't be in the cage though. He was free. He was free...he was free.... Was he? Suddenly Sam screamed, as pain erupted from his body. He couldn't open his eyes, couldn't see what the Devil was doing to him. God, did he even have eyes? Had they already been removed? In that moment there was nothing else but pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. It was the everything, the only thing he knew. The pain, hammering behind his eyes, white flashes through his head. Heat, pain, god the sweltering heat, the brushes of cold.__

__Gasping Sam blinked his eyes open rapidly, looking to the digital clock, nearly two in the afternoon. Pain hit him. He had a massive headache, the pain was nearly unbearable. Rolling out of bed he almost collapsed from dizziness, placing his hand to his head to try and put pressure, try and ease the pain, stop the dizziness; he realized that there was heat on his hand. Focusing he realized it was from him, he was burning up. Stumbling to the bathroom Sam put all his weight down, balancing on the counter. His vision was spotting, he could hardly think from the pain. He heard Lucifer laughing at him, laughing at how weak he was, how pathetic. Sam tried to turn, get to the phone, get help. Dean. He had to call Dean. Dean. He couldn't think hardly; vision blacking. Sam gasped for breath, feeling like he was drowning. He was drowning, he couldn't breath. He couldn't breath. His knees gave out suddenly, falling. Blackness was taking over, suffocating him. Sam couldn't think, it was just pain. Laughing. His vision blurry, blacking, he saw a face looming over him. Grinning down at him, mocking him. Lucifer. Sam curled in on his stomach, hardly able to think, to focus, but knowing, protect the baby. He couldn't feel anything suddenly, as the darkness overtook him._ _


	2. Expiration Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean comes home and finds Sam unconscious on the floor.  
> Panicking he takes him to the hospital.

Dean walked in the front door, immediately he was welcomed by Bear running at him. Smiling, he crouched down to pet the puppy, while calling Sam's name. He had come home earlier than usual, worried about his husband. Last night he wouldn't even leave bed, sleeping the whole time. Aside from that Dean just had a bad feeling, like something was wrong.  
Calling Sam's name again Dean frowned when he got no answer. Dean walked through the house, checking the living room, calling his brother's name. Dean ignored the knot forming in his stomach. Sam was fine, he probably went outside or something and forgot to leave a note. Maybe went over to a neighbors. Pulling his phone out Dean dialed Sam's number. Dean turned toward the stairs when he heard his brother's ringtone going off upstairs. Mentally kicking himself for not looking in their bedroom, Dean made his way upstairs. Sam was probably taking a nap. He could be a heavy sleeper, and probably hadn't heard Dean.  
Opening the door to his and Sam's bedroom Dean gave a confused look at the empty bed. Something was wrong, he knew it, Sam couldn't just disappear. Wards and salt lines were fine.  
Dean heard a whine from behind him then, looking down he saw Bear, the pup looked distressed, trying to get around Dean and into the bedroom. The moment Dean moved for the dog, Bear bolted into the room, going to the bathroom, pawing at the closed door, all the while whining. Dean stood looking at the dog in confusion for a moment before he realized: the light was on in the bathroom, no noise coming from it. He quickly walked forward, dread building in him, knocking on the door Dean called for Sam. When he got no answer Dean opened the door, freezing for a moment. It felt like his world in that moment came crashing down on him. Sam was one the floor, unconscious. Dropping to his knees Dean gently picked his brother up, holding him to his chest. "Sam? Sammy!?" Dean shook his brother gently, swearing when he felt the waves of heat rolling off Sam. His brother was burning up. Laying Sam down, Dean stood up, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it in cool water, he laid it down across Sam's forehead. Running to the bedside table Dean flipped open Sam's phone, quickly dialing 911.  
A voice, too chipper sounding for her job, answered with the generic line of "911 what's your emergency?" Dean quickly said "I need an ambulance, I came home and found my pregnant husband passed out on the floor. He has a fever, and won't wake up." Rushing through his address Dean ended the call after saying "please hurry." He went back and took Sam back into his arms. Murmuring to him while he waited for the paramedics to arrive. Dean let out a sigh of relief when he heard the sirens, only minutes after his call. He quickly ran downstairs to let them in, showing the way up to where Sam was, answering their questions. They quickly strapped Sam onto a gurney, taking him downstairs and loading him onto the ambulance. Dean got on, holding Sam's hand, begging him to be OK, to hold on. While rushing to the hospital a paramedic looked at Dean. "You're the one that found him?" Nodding yes Dean looked up at her, she smiled gently at him. "You did everything right, calling us right away and putting the cool cloth over his head. As well as not moving him much, we don't know if he injured himself or hit his head when he fell so not moving him was the best thing. Good job." Dean nodded, it was the training that their father had taught them their whole life, only he figured it would be used in hunting situations. Swallowing Dean turned to her again, asking, "what about the baby? Will both him and the baby be alright?" She sighed, "we can't know for sure the damage done to the baby from the fall right now, but there isn't any blood so that's a good sign. I'm sure your husband will be alright, as for your baby, we can't know for sure, but they are tougher than you think."  
Once they got to the hospital Sam was rushed out for tests to be taken to see if there was any damage. Dean tried to follow, annoyed when a nurse stopped him, telling him he couldn't go with his husband. He was shown to a waiting room, given some papers to fill out, and a nurse telling him to be patient and that they will let him know any information. Sighing Dean pulled out his phone, calling Kevin and Cas, he knew they were both at the bunker so they could be at the hospital quickly. He let them know the situation, they said they would get to the hospital as soon as possible. 

Dean paced back and forth, no one had come out and told him anything. It felt like he had been here forever, every minute feeling like an hour. Finally, finally, a nurse came out calling his name. Rushing up to her she led him to a room, telling him a doctor would be in soon to tell him everything. She left him then, saying to ask if he needed anything. Dean looked down at Sam, his face looked pale except for the flush of fever across his cheeks. Dean sighed, sitting down in a chair. He took Sam's hand. Seven months, Sam was seven months pregnant. He was seven months pregnant when he lost Joan. Seven months, was that all his body could take? Was seven months his expiration date before his body couldn't take anymore. Were they going to loose the baby? Another baby? It would hurt, it would hurt like hell for Dean and he knew he would never get over it. It was a crushing pain whenever he thought about Joan, and he had never even met her. What would it be like when he been here the whole time? Felt the kicks, seen the ultrasounds, heard his son's heart beat. His strong, healthy heart beat. When he was hopelessly loved his son, just like Sam. He could survive, if they lost another baby. He knew he could, it would be unimaginable pain, worse than anything hell could dish out; but he could survive. He knew Sam couldn't though. Sam couldn't survive loosing another baby, and Dean couldn't survive without Sam.  
Dean settled into the uncomfortable hospital chair, holding his husband's hand. Begging to whatever and whoever would listen that Sam and their son would be OK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought of this chapter! Comments and feedback are loved!


	3. Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote an alternate ending to both this story and series.  
> I must warn you it's sad and might be triggering.  
> You can read it here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5737498

Sam blinked, looking up at the white ceiling above him. He could hear the annoying beeping noise that he had heard way to many times in his life from hunts gone bad. Could smell the overly sterileness of a hospital. The uncomfortable hospital bed. He let his hand fall down to his swollen middle, letting out a sigh of relief when he was greeted with a kick to his palm. His son was OK. His baby was alive.  
Sam felt a hand in his, looking over he saw Dean asleep; head resting on the edge of the hospital bed. He squeezed his hand gently and Dean almost immediately woke up.  
Sam smiled at him, and Dean smiled back.  
"Hey." Dean let out a sigh of relief at hearing Sam speak.  
"Sammy. Hey. How you feeling?"  
"A little sore, but overall fine." Dean let out another sigh or relief. "Do you remember what happened?" Sam thought for a moment before answering.  
"I woke up and had a fever, and I had a really bad headache. I passed out." Dean nodded, standing up he pressed a kiss to Sam's forehead.  
"I'll be right back, the doctor said to get him when you woke up." 

Sam sat up a bit more when Dean and a doctor walked into the room. The doctor smiled at him warmly before introducing himself.  
"Sam, glad to see you awake. My name is Dr. Olson. Your husband told me your feeling a bit sore?" Sam nodded, taking Dean's hand when he sat back down beside him. The doctor nodded, looking over his file.  
"That's completely normal, you did fall, and you are pregnant. Luckily though there are no broken bones, though you will have some soreness and bruises. I'm also very glad to say that your son is still completely fine and healthy. As for you though, you will need to rest much more. We can't have you getting that high of fevers and fainting all over the place." Sam nodded in understanding, he had been working himself to hard for being as pregnant as he was.  
"Now, we have you on some fluids, since your immune system is down, hopefully we will be able to boost it back up and keep you from getting sick again. You should be able to go home in a couple days though. I'll go tell a nurse to bring you some breakfast, and I expect you to eat all of it." The doctor said sternly before turning and walking out of the room. Dean turned to Sam.  
"I expect you to eat it all as well. I'll be making sure you take care of yourself, since I guess you can't do it yourself. Big brother is always a full time job with you, huh?." Dean said jokingly, before his expression became serious.  
"I'm series though Sam. When I came home and found you passed out on the floor and with that fever, I was terrified. I was scared for you and Mikey. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost either of you. I will make sure you are taking better care of yourself, even if I have to handcuff you to the bed to make sure you do." Sam nodded, understanding.  
"Dean I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed myself like that." Dean nodded.  
"Cas and Kevin are downstairs in the cafeteria, I called them. Charlie and Jody are on their way too. They are all worried about you too." Sam groaned.  
"So now not only will I have you hovering over me, but all of them as well?" Dean grinned.  
"That's right Sammy. We all are gonna care and mother you to death. So you'll just have to deal with it." Sam rolled his eyes, then gasped when he felt Mikey kick again. He quickly grabbed Dean's hand, placing it on his stomach. Dean's face lit up when he felt his son's kick. He leaned down and pressed a kiss where his palm had been.  
"Your Papa and I are so glad your OK buddy. I was so worried about you two." Dean whispered, gently rubbing soothing circles into the stretched skin.  
Sam smiled, always happy when Dean was talking to their son. Dean straightened back up, pressing a kiss to Sam's lips.  
"I suggest you get ready to be cared for. Cas and Kevin will be back shortly." Dean teased, Sam just rolled his eyes. He let out a laugh when he felt another kick.  
"I don't think your son agrees with that idea." Dean chuckled.  
"Well, you both are gonna have to get used to eat because I'm gonna basically put you on bed rest till you give birth.  
Sam rolled his eyes, pulling his husband down for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so this is a shorter chapter, I'm sorry; but I also wrote the alternate ending today.  
> As always, more to come, let me know what you think of this story so far. 
> 
> Alternate ending: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5737498


	4. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone shows up at the hospital to check on Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is short, and that it took so long. I have been busy, as well as I've been having writer's block. I meant to write this earlier but I got sick. Anyway, here it is! I hope you enjoy.

Sam and Dean both looked up when the door to Sam's room opened. Cas and Kevin walked through, looking towards Sam, looking over every inch of him to make sure he was OK. Cas quickly was at Sam's side, hands pressing to his head and the swell of his stomach.  
"Sam everything seems to be fine. Though your immune system seems down. The baby is fine though."  
Sam grinned at Cas, he trusted the doctor but it was nice to get angelic confirmation.  
"Thanks Cas, the doctor said the same thing. They have me on an IV to help boost my immune system. Hopefully I can go home soon."   
"Well, we will all be there to take care of you so that this doesn't happen again, can't have anything happen to baby Mikey." Kevin said, taking a seat. Sam let out a sigh, he really was going to be hovered for the rest of his pregnancy. All he wanted was to go back home and go back to his routine. He had learned his lesson, he wouldn't overwork himself again. He was going to _have _a baby for god sake, he didn't need to be babysat himself._  
Dean took out his phone, having felt it vibrate. Reading the message he grinned to himself.  
"Well Sammy, get ready. Charlie just texted me that she just got here, and she seems really worried." _

__

___Everyone in the hospital room looked up when there was a knock on the hospital door. Kevin stood up, opening the door he was suddenly pushed to the side by a mass of balloons and stuffed animals being shoved through the door. Charlie's head appeared through the center of them, with a determined look on her face. She quickly shoved everything into Dean's and Kevin's waiting arms. As soon as her arms were empty she turned to Sam with an extremely worried look on her face. Almost instantly she was at Sam's side, hands flying all over him, checking him over. Once she was finished she met his eyes with the sternest look Sam had ever seen on her face._  
"Sam Winchester. Do you know how worried I was? I get a call from Dean that you were in the hospital and sick with no other explanation! I thought something had happened to you! Or to my nephew!" Charlie let out a sigh, finally grinning.   
"You're OK though?" Sam nodded.  
"I'm fine Charlie. So is the baby." Charlie nodded, seemingly happy with the answer.   
"Well," Charlie turned back and gestured towards Dean and Kevin.   
"I brought gifts, for you, Dean and the baby!"   
"Charlie, you didn't need to do that." Sam and Dean said in unison, grinning at each other afterwards. Charlie waved them both off.   
"Yes I didn't, I have decided I'm gonna spoil my nephew!" She quickly started balloons and stuffed animals from Dean and Kevin's arms, placing them around the room. Kevin and Dean as well started setting everything down. Once that was done Charlie reached into her backpack and pulled out a bottle. Handing it to Dean she grinned at him, winking.  
"Now this is a body wash that's supposed to help you relax. Dean I expect you to help soap Sam all up with it; and relax in other ways" Sam blushed at his adopted sister's words, while Dean let out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. Charlie just let out an annoyed sigh.  
"Come on you two, we now how you ended up pregnant Sam! Also, we were all at your wedding! So don't even act innocent!" Dean chuckled at that, while Sam just blushed harder.   
"Thank you Charlie, really. I'll make sure Sam uses this." Dean grinned at Sam, while Charlie beamed.  
"That's the spirit Dean! Now I have one other thing for my Nephew!" Charlie reached into her bag again and pulled out a onesie. Both Sam and Dean burst out laughing when they saw it. It was a black long sleeve onesie made to look like a Hogwarts Gryffindor robe. She handed it to Sam, grinning, clearly proud of herself.  
"Charlie; this is perfect! Thank you!" Sam said, admiring the onesie.   
"Now all we have to do is get a star wars one, think you could help me with that Charlie?" Dean asked. Charlie quickly agreed, beaming. She took a seat beside Dean and pulled out her Ipad. Her and Dean quickly got pulled into looking at all the "Geeky and Nerdy stuff the internet had for babies. 

__

___Jody knocked on the door, stepping inside she let out a sigh of relief. The room was full, and Sam was sitting up in bed laughing with everyone that was in the room, perfectly fine. Everyone looked at her when she stepped in and Dean quickly stood up to greet her. She pulled him in for a hug. Dean smiled at her, happy as always to see her. She walked over to Sam, handing him the vase of flowers she had brought before giving him a gentle hug too._  
"How are you feeling Sam?" Sam smiled at her, answering,  
"I'm fine, as is the baby." Jody smiled, nodding.  
"That's good, I'm so glad you are. You gave me a heart attack though boy! Don't be doing anything like this again!" Sam nodded, smirking as she used her "mom" voice on him. Jody's eyes softened then.  
"Bobby would be so proud of you Sam." Jody said softly.  
"Of both of you." She said, turning and looking at Dean. Dean and Sam both nodded quietly. They wished Bobby would have been able to be here more than anything, would have been able to be an uncle, or hell, they probably would have asked him to be a grandfather figure since he had always been a surrogate father to them.   
Jody shook her head, smiling.   
"Anyway, sadly I only can stay for a few days before I have to head back up to Sioux Falls." Sam and Dean nodded, understanding.   
"But until then, you can expect me to mother the hell out of you Samuel Winchester!" Sam nodded. He hoped he could maybe convince them he didn't to to be hovered over soon enough. But until then, he would enjoy having his family with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is an alternate ending to this story (and series) that you can find here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5737498/chapters/13221643


	5. The Netflix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is released from the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such the short chapter, and for not updating in forever! I have been busy, and suffering from writer's block! Anyway, here you go, let me know what you think!

Sam signed his release papers from the hospital. He had only had to stay at the hospital for a few days before the doctor gave his OK for him to go home. Jody had left earlier this morning, since she needed to go back to Sioux Falls. She was the sheriff after all and couldn't stay away from her job for long. Charlie, Castiel, and Kevin remained though; and they showed no sign of leaving anytime soon.   
Dean especially wasn't going where anytime soon; hardly leaving Sam's side even though Sam assured him he wasn't gonna pass out again if he left Dean's sight.  
Sam handed the papers back to the receptionist, and turned back to Dean to walk out. He had turned down being pushed out of the hospital on a wheelchair much to Dean's annoyance; who both wanted the big brother black mail of Sam in one, and also didn't want Sam to have to exert any extra energy.   
Dean had agreed finally to let Sam walk out, as long as he let him carry Sam's duffle bag from his short stay at the hospital.   
Charlie had pulled the Impala around front to the hospital's loading and unloading zone. Only after though promising Dean she would be extremely careful. She was leaning against it, quickly standing upright as soon as they walked through the doors. Dean put the duffle bag in the back of the impala, then helped Sam get into the car. Before he was pregnant he had already had enough trouble getting his tall form into the car, now that he was heavily pregnant, doing so was even more difficult.   
Once he was safely in Dean walked around and got in the passenger seat, rolling down the window for Charlie when she bent down to talk to them.  
"I'll meet you two at you're house, I'll be giving a lift to Kevin and Castiel." Sam and Dean both nodded, before driving off heading back to their home. 

Pulling into the driveway Dean shut off the car, hurrying out to open the door for Sam and help him out of the impala. Sam did his best not to huff in annoyance, he could get out of the car on his own, even if currently it was a bit more difficult; but he was going to be dealing with this for awhile, maybe even till he gave birth, so it was best to not get annoyed with Dean right away. Dean was worried and just wanted health and safety for him and their baby. He just needed to remember that and let himself be cared for until Dean was a little less anxious about everything that had happened. Giving a small smile to Dean he headed for the front door, Dean's arm around his waist.

Shortly later, Charlie pulled into the driveway, and got out; Cas and Kevin in toll. Dean let them into the house and they were all quickly greeted by Bear running at them, excited at the new people in the house. Sam and Dean laughed as Charlie gasped and dropped to her knees to pet the puppy.   
"You guys didn't tell me that Bear was so cute! Dean where did you get him? I have to have one!" Dean chuckled, crouching down to pet Bear.   
"We got him from a guy in town whose dogs had a litter. I don't know if he's having another though." A pout crossed Charlie's face for a moment before it was quickly replaced by a smile when Bear started licking her face. The energetic puppy had been extremely happy to see Sam when they had first walked in the door, apparently worried about his master. Sam smiled as Kevin kneeled down and started petting the puppy as well, Cas looking down observing. He absent mindedly brought his hand down to his swollen middle and started rubbing gently. Dean looked up and met his eyes, smiling at him. He followed Sam's hand down to where he was rubbing his middle and grinned even more at Sam, standing up from the group and stood beside Sam, wrapping his arm around his husband's waist and placing his other hand over the one Sam had on his swollen middle. Sam quickly leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to Dean's lips, before turning his attention back to everyone else. 

Sam let out a scowl at Dean as Kevin pushed him out if the kitchen.  
"Dean, I can still help you cook supper. You don't need to banish me to the living room." Both Dean, Charlie, and Kevin tsked at him.  
"Sam, baby, you should be off your feet as much as possible. We can handle supper while you rest." Sam let out a sigh, annoyance growing.  
"Dean I've been resting all day, I'm not even tired for once!" Kevin just shook his head, leading Sam to the couch.   
"Sam you know Dean isn't going to change his mind, like he said, we can handle supper. It would be best to not argue with him." Sam let out a defeated sigh as Kevin turned and walked back into the kitchen. He relaxed back into the couch, turning his attention to Cas when he sat down next to him.   
"Sam, I've known you for many years, and I know you don't like to just sit around and do nothing. I have also been around much longer than you, and have witnessed many births. You really should rest, gain and save as much strength before you have to deliver, as it is a very draining process." Sam nodded,  
"I know Cas, I'm just not used to it. I know I should, it's just not that easy." Cas nodded,   
"Perhaps you can use the time to catch up on reading or research, or your Netflix. Which I very much enjoy, and must thank you for introducing me to. Perhaps you should do, as Dean says, binge watch. I would be happy to join you for that as I'm sure Charlie would as well. I very much enjoy the Netflix after all as I mentioned before." Sam couldn't help the laugh that escaped him, he nodded agreeing.  
"Yea Cas that sounds good, we can definitely do that." Sam grinned, turning towards the kitchen when Charlie popped her head out telling them to come and eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate ending to this work and series as a whole can be found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5737498
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Pathetic Abomination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooow so I'm sorry for not updating! Here you go though! I will do my best to get another chapter out by Monday evening!

After supper everyone went into the living room together, picking respective seats around the room. Sam currled up with Dean on the couch while Charlie took the floor next to where Kevin was sitting on a chair, Cas was on a chair opposite of him. Charlie took charge of the remote and went to Netflix, selecting Game of Thrones. 

It was nearly midnight, a few hours into their binge, when Dean noticed that Sam was fighting to stay awake. He mentally chastised himself over keeping Sam up this late. He was supposed to be resting, not staying up all night.   
Dean turned at pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Sam's head,   
"why don't we go to bed?" Dean whispered into Sam's ear, squeezing Sam gently in his embrace. Sam's eyes fluttered sleepily meeting Dean's, he nodded in agreement. Standing up everyone directed their attention from the TV to them.   
"Sammy and I are gonna get to sleep. We'll see you all tomorrow." Cas stood up at that, as Charlie clicked off the TV. Kevin stood up and stretched as well.  
"In that case, we will head back to the bunker. Though we will be here before you leave for work tomorrow Dean." Cas answered as he pulled on his discarded trench coat. Dean gave him a questioning look.  
"Cas I'm not going to work tomorrow." Sam touched Dean's shoulder gently.  
"Actually Dean I called your boss and told him you would be in tomorrow, you shouldn't miss work." "Sam, I'm not leaving you. I should be here." Sam shook his head in disagreement.  
"Cas, Charlie, and Kevin will all be here to watch me Dean. I'll be fine, you need to go to work." Dean gave Sam an annoyed look before he nodded in defeated agreement. Putting his hand on the small of Sam's back they said their good night's as he lead Sam upstairs.  
Closing the door to their room Dean and Sam both quickly went through their nightly routines before climbing into bed. Dean wrapped his arms around Sam, pulling him close so that his back was pressed against his chest as best he could, Sam hardly able to sleep in his side from his pregnancy. They both whispered their good night's to each other before slipping off to sleep.

Sam shivered in his sleep, waking up from the cold. Confused he opened his eyes, searching for what was making him cold. He was met with nothing but blackness. Quickly becoming aware of his surroundings Sam flexed his arms, finding that he was tied down. The coldness moved over to his side, and in its wake was a burning heat. The room was hot, a sweltering dry heat that left Sam desperate for a drink in seconds, for relief from the heat. It was a strange contrast from the chill that was at his side. Whatever the coldness was coming from touched his bound arm gently, it felt it was biting into his skin wherever it touched him. He jerked away from it the best he could. It laughed at that. An all to familiar laugh. Suddenly the blackness disappeared, a blindfold he hadn't even felt removed. Sam looked into all to familiar eyes. Eyes filled with venom and resentment directed at him; promising revenge and pain. Lucifer took him in a look of repulsion, and detestation clear on his face.   
"Look at you. Sam Winchester. The boy who saved the world." Lucifer ran his hand down Sam's chest, stopping to rest on the swell that held his child.   
"You really are an abomination aren't you. Pregnant, and not only that; knocked up by your own brother!" Lucifer grinned.  
"Look how weak you are. Disappointing really. What would your father say if he saw you. Saw how pathetic you are. It's almost pitiful." Sam turned his head away, not listening to the devil. This wasn't real. He knew it wasn't. The devil didn't seem to like that though, growling he yanked Sam's head back, forcing him to meet his gaze. Sam let out a yelp of pain, because it might not be really but holy hell it felt real.   
"Fine. If you're not up for talking, we will just have to pass the time some how else." Lucifer grinned smugly, gently running a knife down the side of Sam's face.

Sam screamed in pain. Lucifer had cut him, burned him, ripped and pulled; flayed and skinned him. The entire time though he had avoided his middle. Sam knew why now. The pain was practically unimaginable. Lucifer was slowly carving him open, causing as much pain and damaged as possible. Taking away layer and layer of skin, blood pouring from Sam's body. Suddenly he stilled grinning in triumph he hastily started slicing at Sam's skin, pulling it back to get at his motivation. Sam screamed again in agony, Lucifer pulling and ripping everything from him. Sam screamed for him to stop, screamed for help, for Dean.   
Sam's eyes snapped open with a gasp, Dean was shaking him; begging him to wake up. Sam turned towards Dean, gasping for breath. Dean hovered over Sam, looking him over worriedly.   
"Sammy. Sammy it's OK, I'm here, it's OK." Sam caught his breath best he could, wiping away the sheen of sweat on his face. He sat up slowly, Dean helping him. Dean gave him a worried look, asking if he was OK, what his nightmare was about.  
Dean didn't need to know Sam was dreaming about hell, about Lucifer.  
Dean was worried enough about Sam, he didn't need to add to that worry. Sam just shook his head.  
"Just a random hunt. You were hurt and I couldn't get to you." Sam gave his best innocent look, trying to get Dean to believe it. Dean nodded, believing him. He pulled Sam into his arms whispering that it was OK, they weren't hunting anymore, they were done. That they were both safe. Sam sighed, they might be but his unconscious mind didn't seem to know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for taking so long to update! Let me know what you thought!   
> There is an alternate ending to this that you can find on my page.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Get Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some drama in this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know how much I use a Thesaurus writing? A lot, but probably not as much as I should.
> 
> Anyway, here's the promised chapter!
> 
> Enjoy :)

The next morning Dean woke to the sound of his alarm clock going off as usual for his morning routine. Groaning he rolled over and quickly shut it off; sitting up he rubbed a hand over his face to attempt to wake himself up more. He felt an arm snake around his waist and looked back to see Sam smiling sleepily up at him. He grinned down at his husband, before standing up to head to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Sam sighed at that and started getting out of bed himself to follow Dean. Dean immediately stopped him, trying to gently push him back down into bed.  
"Sammy, you don't need to get up yet. Sleep in, you never get up when I get up for work." Sam rolled his eyes, sitting himself up completely and swinging his feet around to hit the floor.  
"Dean, I can manage to get up a little earlier than usual. I want to be awake for when Charlie, Cas, and Kevin get here." Dean shook his head, annoyed.  
"Sam, they are here because you pushed yourself to far and exhausted yourself. They will understand you sleeping when they're here. Hell, they'll probably try to force you back to bed once they get here." Sam just shook his head, standing up and heading to the bathroom.  
"I'm still getting up to at least greet them when they get here; and if you don't stop complaining about it and get your ass in the shower right now with me I'm not gonna blow you." Dean's head snapped up at that, grinning he swiftly followed after Sam into the bathroom. 

Sam toweled his hair off after the shower, watching Dean get ready. Maybe blowing Dean in the shower when he was seven months pregnant wasn't the smartest idea. His large belly made it awkward in general, but then there was also the problem that his center balance was off, his knees got sore way quicker from the added weight, and once Dean finished it was practically impossible for him to actually stand up without killing both himself and Dean. They had managed though and Dean was completing his daily routine with a satisfied grin on his face.  
Sam had just finished getting ready when he heard a knock at the door. Dean went downstairs to answer the door, letting everyone in while Bear happily greeted them with his barking. Sam sighed, mentally preparing himself to be hovered over all day. Sighing again he made his way down stairs, smiling to Charlie, Cas, and Kevin when he saw them. They had clearly stopped someplace to get breakfast, both Kevin and Cas had take out bags in their hands. Sam was grateful for that, he was starving and whatever was in those bags smelled amazing. Dean looked over and saw him eyeing the bags of food, he gave Sam a smug smile before ushering everyone into the kitchen so that they could all eat together before he left for work.  
Sam opened his take out container of food Charlie had handed him, everything looked and smelled delicious. Scrambled eggs, hash browns, bacon, and sausage. Everyone quickly dug into their meal, making small talk while they ate. To soon though Dean was finished and was directing everyone to make sure they took care of Sam, to make sure he didn't do anything stupid, and to ensure he rested. Charlie rolled her eyes at the fact that Dean felt he needed to even remind them of their duty here, while Kevin and Cas both agreed to it. With that Dean told them all good bye, giving Sam a quick kiss before he left for work. 

Sam walked to the front door, leaning over the best he could to leash Bear up, a tricky task with his belly and the energetic pup bouncing all over the place; clearly excited for Sam to take him on a walk since he hadn't been able to the past few days. As soon as he was able to leash Bear up though and open the door there was an over exaggerated clearing of a throat behind him. Sighing Sam turned around to face Charlie.  
"Where exactly do you think you're going Sam?" Sam gestured to Bear and the leash.  
"Taking Bear out for his walk, like I always do." Charlie shook her head, walking forward to take the leash from Sam.  
"Not anymore you're not. You need to rest, and going for a walk isn't something you should be doing. Nothing strenuous."  
"Charlie, I always take Bear for a walk, and I haven't been able to the past few days because I've been in the hospital. Also, going on a walk isn't strenuous."  
"When you're seven months pregnant and pretty much on bed rest it is. Bear will be fine not going for a walk with you. He can be with you here all he wants."  
"Walking is good exercise, I need to be healthy still." Charlie rolled her eyes at that.  
"Sam, you aren't walking Bear, I'll walk Bear and you can stay here with Cas and Kevin and rest." Sam sighed at that, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to change Charlie's mind. He stepped out of the way of the door so she could lead Bear out for his walk. Bear let out a small whine, trying to get at Sam; clearly trying to get him to take him on his walk. Sam just leaned down and gave Bear a quick pet before Charlie lead the dog out of the house, Bear following apprehensively, a dejected look on his face. Sam let out yet another sigh, heading into the living room and sitting down on the couch. If he couldn't walk his own dog then maybe he could get some laundry done. Getting up again he made his way upstairs and grabbed the laundry hamper and dumped everything into a laundry basket. Picking it up Sam stood around and gasped in surprise to see Cas standing in the door way giving him a disapproving look. Walking forward Cas took the basket from Sam, carrying it himself.  
"Sam, you really shouldn't be lifting anything. You're supposed to be resting, not straining yourself."  
"Cas, a laundry basket isn't heavy, I can carry it myself." Cas shook his head, disagreeing.  
"I will still carry it for you." Sam groaned in defeat, following Cas out of the room and downstairs into the laundry room. He quickly sorted everything out and got a load going and two others ready to be loaded at soon as the first was done. The day had gone quickly, it was already noon and he could hear Kevin in the kitchen making lunch, and Charlie was apparently back from walking Bear; since he could hear her in there as well helping him. It was only noon and Sam already needed a nap.

After they ate lunch Sam excused himself to go take a nap, Charlie told him to sleep as long as he needed and that she would finish the laundry up for him. Sam tried to decline, saying that he would just take an hour nap at most and come back down to finish it himself; but Charlie, Cas, and Kevin were hearing none of it and told him to take as long a nap as needed. Sam just admitted defeat and went upstairs to sleep.

Sam woke to the gentle press of lips to his forehead; he blinked his eyes open, and looked up and Dean sitting on the bed next to him smiling softly down at him. Sitting up himself Sam looked over at the clock; six o'clock. He had slept for almost five and a half. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes Sam pressed a sleepy kiss to Dean's lips.  
"You're home from work late." Dean chuckled at that, rubbing the back of his neck.  
"Actually, I was home early. I told my boss the situation and he said I could leave early to be home with you more. I just decided to let you sleep for a little bit more. Everyone left already, they didn't want to wake you up either. Though, Cas and Charlie told me you were a little bad. Tried to walk the dog and strain yourself with laundry. You're supposed to be resting Sammy, you know that." Sam let out an annoyed groan at that, giving Dean a bitch face.  
"I can still do things Dean. I'm not incompetent. I'll just do a little less of things, not strain myself to much. I can still do housework and walk Bear." Dean shook his head.  
"You say that Sam, but you push yourself past your limits. You always have. I just want you and the baby to be healthy and safe."  
"We are safe Dean. I can take care of myself and my baby! This isn't my first pregnancy! I managed just fine for a few months without _anyone _the first time! Dean, I don't need to be babysat. I wouldn't intentionally endanger my son!" Sam hissed angrily at Dean. He knew his anger was irrational, it was his annoyance at being hovered over, as well as his hormones out of wack. Dean gave him a hurt look at his outburst.__  
"Well I'm so sorry I was in _Purgatory _the first time you were pregnant! It's not like I _chose _to go there or anything! Also if I recall correctly this is _our _son and _our _baby! Not just yours; so I'm so sorry for being concerned! As well if I recall correctly, your first pregnancy, if you did so well then why did you loose the baby?!" Dean growled at Sam angrily. Sam gasped at that, tears quickly filling his eyes._____  
"You think I chose to loose our daughter Dean?! You think I _wanted _that?! It practically killed me when I lost her Dean! I had lost you, I had lost the last part I had of you! I HAD NO ONE! EVERYONE WAS GONE DEAN! I DID EVERYTHING I COULD, IT WASN'T MY FAULT I LOST HER!" Sam yelled at Dean, tears had started streaming down his face and some point. How could Dean bring that up? How could he twist it around as if Sam had meant to loose their daughter!?_____  
Dean quickly calmed down at Sam's words and seeing the tears streaming down his face. Shit. He hadn't meant to say that. He hadn't meant it. He had taken a low blow out in anger, and he knew he had fucked up bad. Dean put his hands up in surrender.  
"Sammy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I shouldn't have said that. I lost my temper for a moment and took a cheap shot at you. It's entirely untrue. I know you did everything you could, that it wasn't your fault at all. Baby, I'm sorry. Sammy I'm so sorry. Please." Dean reached out to try and wipe the tears from Sam's face. Sam quickly slapped the hand away.  
"It's Sam, and don't you dare touch me." Sam sobbed, trying to control his breath through his tears.  
"Baby, please. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry." Dean begged Sam, begging him to look at him. Sam just shook his head, meeting Dean's gaze.  
"Don't Dean. You still said it. You can't, you can't just change that."  
"What can I do? Please." Sam took a shuddering breath, trying to center himself.  
"Get out." Dean gaped for a moment at Sam, wondering if he had heard his husband correctly. Sam had never kicked him out.  
"Wha-what?"  
"I said get out." Sam said more strongly.  
"I can't look at you right now, can't be with you. Please leave." Dean starred for a moment at his husband before sliding off the bed quietly. He went and grabbed his night clothes, tooth brush and tooth paste before walking to the door. He turned back around to look at his husband.  
"I'll, I'll be in the guest room. If you need me." Dean waited for a response from Sam, when he got none he sighed.  
"Goodnight, I love you. I'm sorry." With that Dean walked out of their bedroom and headed to the guest bedroom to sleep for the night.  
As soon as Sam heard the door to the guest bedroom close downstairs he got up and went to close the door to their own bedroom. Before he could though Bear pushed his way in, going and jumping up onto the bed. Closing the door Sam went and curled up on the bed, burying his face in the soft fur and cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow :O Sam and Dean got into a fight! This is totally not what I originally went into this chapter to write, but it kinda just worked its way in and I rolled with it! Let me know what you thought!  
> I kinda went off the inspiration from the heaven episode when Dean was with Mary, after Mary and John had gotten into a fight and John had left for a few days.
> 
> I was writing and posting this at almost 1 A.M. my time so I don't actually know if it is good or not so I apologize.
> 
> Anyway let me know what you thought!


	8. Don't Wait Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie and Kevin leave and Sam is once again left alone by himself. Except his nightmares wont completely allow that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE  
> READ
> 
> Let me know what you think about Benny being brought back from the dead AND if you have any thoughts about how he would maybe be brought back? Let me know in the comments!

Sam knew where he was instantly before he even opened his eyes. Every time he slept his nightmares just brought him straight to the cage. Straight into Lucifer's waiting grip to torture him. Tonight though when he opened his eyes Lucifer wasn't alone. Standing next to him was Dean, looking at him with every bit of hatred that Lucifer had in his own eyes. There was something else in Dean's eyes though. Disappointment. Sam had always hated when Dean had looked at him like that, made him feel with one look like he couldn't do anything right. He hardly ever looked at Sam like that, but when he had; it had always cut into Sam deeply.  
Lucifer stepped forward then, standing over Sam. He then turned and motioned Dean forward. Sam watched as his brother came and stood besides their enemy; looking more like a team than two people who would love to kill each other. Lucifer grinned down at Sam.  
"Sammy, I was right; wasn't I? Even your brother thinks you're an abomination. So, tonight I'm going to let him take the lead. After all, I know Alistair was an excellent torturer. I'm sure Deano here will do a fine job." Lucifer stepped back then, moving aside as Dean then picked up a knife from the table filled with various torture devices that Sam couldn't even begin to imagine what they were used for. Dean gave Sam a bored look before he plunged the knife deep into Sam's shoulder; pinning him to the table. Sam couldn't help the scream of pain that left him. It hurt so much more that is seemed like it should. Was it because it was 'Dean' doing it to him? Or was Lucifer messing with it? Sam didn't care, didn't want to know. He just focused on breathing through the pain, praying that he would wake up soon. 

Sam screamed in pain as more boiling oil was poured over his skin. Dean, with the help of Lucifer, had slowly broken almost every bone in his body; starting from his fingers and toes and working inwards. It hadn't been simply, snap and move on. No, they had slowly added pressure to each bone, till finally it gave under the weight and was crushed completely. The slowness was the worst part, he was left with the mental pain of the unknowing, waiting for the extreme pain of the bone to finally give under the weight, but not knowing when. Once that had been finished they had set to peeling away his skin where they had crushed the bone. Finally when that was done, they simply cut off his fingers and toes one by one. They hadn't moved any higher though, Sam didn't want to imagine what they had planned that was holding them back. Currently they were pouring boiling oil over what was left of his skin, or muscle more like. Sam looked over when Lucifer motioned for Dean to stop pouring the oil over Sam's body. Dean looked at him in confusion before grinning, and turning to pick up something that looked like a miniature rake. It was handed over and Lucifer began dragging it down Sam's body. It ripped apart his flesh and the horrible blisters that had formed from the oil. Even more blood pooled to the surface of his skin to join the rest of the bodily fluids and flesh on the ground. Sam screamed, it taking everything in him not to scream and beg for them to stop. Sam let his head fall back against the table. This wasn't Dean, he had to remind himself that. Lucifer had used Dean against him countless times when he was actually in hell. He had used everyone Sam had ever loved against him. This was just another way to cause him pain, that was it. The words though Not Dean had been speaking the entire time were just as painful though. Bringing up every little bad thing Sam had ever done. Throwing everything back in his face. Accusing him over loosing their daughter. Saying every little thing that could hurt Sam. Sam tried to wake himself up, tried to escape the nightmare. Nothing was working, then he felt a wetness on his face. Heard whining. Bear. He had been sleeping with Bear in his bed. Sam clawed at the noise, till at last he was able to open his eyes, gasping for breath; drenched in sweat. Bear was on him instantly, licking his face; happy to see his master was OK. Sam whipped a hand over his face to get rid of the dog slobber, before looking at the clock. It was already ten in the morning. Everyone would be here already, Dean would be at work. Sam felt a pain in his chest thinking about Dean and last night. About what Dean had said, their fight, him kicking his husband out. Sam knew it would have hurt even more though to just try and sleep next to him and pretend everything was alright for the rest of the night though. Sam sat up, getting out of bed then. As much as he would love to sleep and stay in bed all day, he was starving. Sam went into the bathroom to get ready for the day and shower. Hopefully Dean hadn't said anything to Cas, Charlie, and Kevin about their fight last night. 

Sam sat at the kitchen table, watching Charlie and Kevin make dinner. Cas was sitting next to him, observing everything. Luckily, no one had mentioned his and Dean's fight all day. So either Dean hadn't said anything, or they were just being polite and not saying anything. Also, as much as Sam hated being hovered and babied over; he did love being able to see what had become his and Dean's little family more often. Sam was going to miss seeing them so much. Charlie had told him that she needed to get back to her life, that she also had responsibilities she couldn't ignore any longer. Kevin was going to go up and see his mom for a couple weeks as well and Charlie had volunteered to drive him there since it was on the way to where she needed to go. They were leaving early tomorrow so good byes would be said tonight. Everyone looked towards the door then suddenly when they heard it opening and Bear rushing to it, barking and greeting whoever just walked in. Sam could hear Dean's voice, telling Bear to stay down and he felt himself tense up. He wasn't ready yet to face him after their fight last night.  
Dean walked into the kitchen and smiled, greeting everyone. His smile faltered though when he met Sam's eyes, a look of sadness suddenly taking over his features but it changed back into a friendly smile as he quickly looked away from Sam's gaze.  
"Perfect timing! Kevin and I just finished supper!" Charlie announced, smiling a greeting at Dean. Her and Kevin set the pans of food out for everyone to serve themselves.  
As they ate Sam put all his attention forth to not look at Dean, instead listening in as Charlie and Dean talked battle tragedies for her LARPing battles. Kevin, Cas, and himself would give suggestions every now and then, both otherwise they had their own conversation going about some of the many books and documents in the bunker. Kevin had apparently found some that gave new information about things the Men of Letters had been invested in. After supper and dishes were done though they all said their goodbyes. Charlie and Kevin wanted to get to sleep early since they had a long drive ahead of themselves tomorrow. Sam had been dreading the moment they left all day for when he would be left alone with Dean; still not ready to face last night's fight.  
As soon as they were gone, and Dean had shut the door Sam was making his way to the living room, book in hand to get buried in before Dean could even turn around. 

Dean let out a sigh when he turned around from the door and Sam wasn't there. Sam had been avoiding him all evening and he just wanted to cuddle up to his husband; all forgiven between them. Yes, Dean Winchester wanted to cuddle. Sue him.  
He walked into the living room and saw Sam curled up best he could, his pregnant belly in the way; reading a book. Dean let out another sigh.  
"Are you going to ignore me all night?" When he didn't get an answer Dean threw his hands up in the air in annoyance and headed upstairs. He had nothing better to do so he might as well go work on the finishing touches of the nursery. The final biggest thing he hadn't gotten around to yet was assembling the changing table they had bought. He picked up the directions and sat down, ready for the annoyance of assembling the damn thing to take up the rest of his evening. It looked simple, only a few pieces needed putting together but he knew from experience (namely the crib) that they weren't nearly as easy as they were made out to be. 

Sam closed his book, hardly able to focus on it or keep his eyes open anymore. He made his way upstairs and paused when he heard a curse from the nursery. Peeking inside he saw Dean kneeling on the floor with a some-what assembled changing table. Smiling softly Sam turned back and made his way to their bedroom. Getting into bed he quickly feel asleep.

Sam gasped, eyes flying open as he was shaken awake. His husband came into view, a very worried look on his face. Sam took deep breaths, another nightmare, another night of being tortured in hell by Lucifer.  
"Sammy? You with me Baby?" Sam met Dean's eyes.  
"I'm fine. Go to sleep."  
"No."  
"No? Dean it's the middle of the night go to sleep."  
"No, Sam. You've been having nightmares since you came home from the hospital. You won't tell me about them, you won't let me help you. Don't push me away, please." Sam shook his head.  
"They're nothing Dean. I'm fine. Just dreams. I'm fine." Dean gave Sam an annoyed look.  
"See! You're doing it again! You're not fine! You're pushing me away and won't let me help you! You don't have to deal with everything yourself Sam! You're not alone. Is this about what I said last night? Because I didn't mean it Sam, I was angry and for a split second I took a low blow that I didn't mean. I said the things I said cause I knew they would hurt you. I didn't mean them." Sam let out a huff of annoyance.  
"I said I'm OK Dean! Just go to sleep and let me sleep! I know you were mad and didn't mean it! Please, just let me sleep!" Dean gave Sam a pained look before nodding and lying back down. Apparently he had invited himself back into their bed. Sam was to tired to fight it, instead he just rolled over, his back to Dean and went back to sleep. 

The next morning Sam woke up to an empty bed, and an empty house. Groaning he got up and went downstairs to make himself some brunch; considering he had slept till almost noon.  
Going to the fridge Sam paused at the note tapped to it from Dean.

_"I'll be home late tonight._  
Don't wait up.  
-Dean" __

__Sam sighed, crumpling up the note and tossing it in the trash can.  
Apparently he had the entire day to himself completely._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought!  
> ALSO  
> READ  
> PLEASE  
> Let me know what you think about Benny being brought back from the dead AND if you have any thoughts about how he would maybe be brought back? Let me know in the comments!


	9. Gardening and lemonade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam goes and visits his elderly neighbor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I haven't updated in forever! So sorry! School and work keep me busy! School will be out soon so hopefully I will be able to write more! 
> 
> Once again any ideas on Benny coming back are appreciated!

Sam took his dishes from brunch and placed them in the sink to do later. At the moment he had a rather energetic puppy at his feet that needed to be taken on a walk.   
Going upstairs he hurriedly went through his morning routine, Bear whining the entire time; letting Sam know how badly he needed to go outside.   
Sam finished getting his shoes on (harder then ever with his large belly in the way) and hooked Bear up to his leash. As soon as Sam opened the door Bear bolted and pulled Sam through the door best he could. Sam laughed at seeing the puppy running around as much as the leash would let him excitedly, clearly happy to be outside, and outside with his Master at that. Clearly he had gotten tired of Charlie, or Kevin walking him in place of Sam.   
He started on the side walk to circle the neighborhood, but making sure not to stray too far from home in case he got to tired before they could get back.   
Some of his neighbor's that were home waved nicely at him as he passed. One neighbor, an elderly women who was like a grandmother to everyone in the neighborhood and had taken an especial liking to Sam and Dean yelled to him. Sam looked up at hearing him name called and smiled at her.  
"Good afternoon Mrs. Davis! How are you today?" Mrs. Davis just shook her head before calling out to Sam.  
"Now none of this short politeness young man! I've got some fresh lemonade with your name on it, and a treat for that pup of yours! Come on over and sit with me on my porch, keep an old lady company for a little while!" Sam grinned, opening the gate to her yard and walking up to her porch. She gestured for him to have a seat.  
"You just sit right there dear, I'll go get you and your dog something nice." Sam stood up, starting to protest.   
"Mrs. Davis that's not necessary. I can get it for you if you tell me where it is, no need to baby me cause I'm pregnant." She just laughed at his remark.   
"Samuel, I'm not gonna baby you cause you got a baby in you! Lord knows I cleaned, cooked, did yard work and fixed things around the house and looked after youngsters when I was pregnant! Pregnancy makes a person even stronger, people forget that and think it makes a person weaker. No, no, just let an old women feel needed dearie. People have the same thoughts about the elderly but I reckon I can still do something as simple as lift a tray." Sam sat down, no way was he arguing with her. He was glad though for what she'd said, glad she understood and wasn't babying him like everyone else was. He let Bear off his leash knowing he'd be fine in Mrs. Davis's fenced front yard. After a few moments she returned again, serving tray in hand. She set it down on the little table between the two chairs she had on her porch.   
"My daughter gave me this new idea, said everyone was doing it with their lemonade. She told me, Mama you try putting some fruit in your lemonade. Said it gives it some new flavor. So I tried it and I suppose you can tell me if it tastes any good or not." Sam smiled, nodding and took the offered glass from her. Taking a sip he smiled even more. It tasted like Mrs. Davis's perfectly measured out lemonade, but now it was more fruity. There was strawberry, raspberry, and other fruits Sam couldn't quite place. He could only tell that it was delicious. Mrs. Davis was looking at him expectantly. Sam set his glass down and answered her.  
"Mrs. Davis, that's gotta be the best lemonade I've ever had!" She grinned at the praise, picking up her own glass and taking a sip.   
"Not to bad for an old lady trying something new huh? An' they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks! Well I reckon you like it so much I'll have to make it more often and give some to you and your husband. Your children too once they get big enough to onto liquids other than milk. Sam nodded in agreement.  
"I also made a pie and I can't possibly eat all of it myself. Was hopin' you'd eat some and take the rest home to your Dean, you've mentioned how much he loved pie." Sam blushed at her calling Dean 'your Dean' before thanking her.  
"Mrs. Davis that's very kind of you, I'll tell Dean you made it." She smiled at him before cutting a piece from the pie on the tray for both of them and put them in plates. She handed one to Sam and set the other on her lap.  
"Now where's that pup of yours? Got a treat for him too!" Sam grinned, and called Bear's name. He quickly ran around from the corner of the house and up the stairs to sit by Sam's feet. He looked up at Mrs. Davis expectantly and yipped in joy when she handed him his customary treat when ever they were at her house. Leaning back in his chair Sam relaxed and ate his lie with Mrs. Davis while the both made small talk about anything and everything. After a little while she grew quiet. Sam was about to ask her if everything was OK, but she spoke before he could ask.  
"I've got five children Samuel. On top of that I've got 8 grand babies. They all live so far away though and after my husband died some years ago I've just been so alone. You've become like a grandson to me these past few months. An' I've come to love you like one too. I can't express my thanks for you coming over so often and spending time with me." Sam felt choked at the touching words.   
"Mrs. Davis, you've become like a grandmother to me as well. I never really had one so that's real special to me too." She smiled at that and patted his hand gently.  
"Well since we're in agreement I feel like 'Mrs. Davis' is to polite. Call me Nona like my grand babies do. Might sound weird but that's what they've been callin me since the beginning." Sam smiled softly through, trying to hold back happy tears mainly caused by hormones.   
"Nona." Sam rolled the name of his tongue.   
"I like that. Thank you." She smiled and leaned forward to pat his hand again.   
"I'm gland we could agree on that dearie." Sam nodded.  
"Me too, though if I can call you Nona; you can call me Sam. No one really calls me Samuel except you." "Dear, I like the name Samuel it's good and strong like you." Sam blushed at the compliment.  
"How about this, sometimes I'll call you Sam, sometimes I'll call you Samuel; and some times I'll call you Dearie. Whatever I feel like." Sam laughed at that.  
"Alright, that works just fine for me."

They sat and talked for a little while more, drinking lemonade and eventually moving to play with Bear on the lawn.   
After a while Sam looked at his watch and gasped. It was already five in the evening! He'd been out for four hours. He was about to get up and rush home when he remembered the note Dean had left him about being home late; he wouldn't have to make supper for Dean then. Mrs. Davis seemed to notice that he was lost in thought.  
"Something on your mind Dearie?" Sam shook his head.  
"I just didn't realize the time, it's already after five."  
"Oh well I suppose I should let you get home to your husband then. Thank you for spending the afternoon with me Hun." Sam shook his head.  
"I can stay, if I'm not imposing. Dean won't be home till later tonight." Her face seemed to light up at that.  
"Well then I suppose I best feed you. Come on in I've had a roast going all day with the works. You can take the left overs home with you." Sam knew not to argue with her so instead he helped her up and into the house. He immediately noticed the heavenly smell of meat and vegetables cooking and his mouth watered. Mrs. Davis went to grab plates but he beat her to them.  
"Let me serve you, you've been so good to me all afternoon." Turning Mrs. Davis instead went and filled their glasses up with fresh lemonade. Sam filled both their plates and gave Mrs. Davis hers. Sitting down next to her she took his hand and bowed her head. Quickly understanding Sam bowed his as well respectively as she said a meal prayer. Once she was done they both started eating.

"Mrs. Dav- I mean Nona this roast is delicious."   
"Thank you Sam. Now tell me, do you garden?" Sam paused a moment at the random question before answering.  
"Can't say I do, why?"  
"Well I love gardening, both vegetables, fruits, and flowers. When my kids were young I would be gardening while they played in the yard to keep an eye on them. You should take it up, I can teach you everything I know." Sam nodded,   
"Nona, I think I might just take you up on that. Maybe I can get Dean to eat better and encourage healthy eating for our children. Also just something to keep me busy." She smiled at that.  
"After supper I'll send you on your way with leftovers, and tomorrow you come back over here around eleven and help me take some gardening supplies over to your house and we'll get started. It's the perfect time of the year to start." Sam held his hands up at that.  
"I couldn't take your supplies, I can buy my own and you can help me with that."  
"No, no I got plenty extra and my garden is already going so I don't need anything else I got left over. Besides, Nonas like to spoil grandkids." Sam laughed.  
After their meal Sam helped her with dishes and she loaded his arms up with leftovers, the pie and sent him on his way with Bear at his heels.   
It had been a good day, he looked forward to tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! 
> 
> Also I hope you love Mrs. Davis! I loved writing her and hope you enjoy reading about her!
> 
> As always more to come!


	10. Just a drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam questions Dean about why he was home late.

Sam walked into the house instantly went to the kitchen to set everything down. Look at the note he had put on the counter earlier he sighed re-reading it. Crumpling it up he tossed it in the trash and put the leftovers in the fridge and left the pie on the counter for Dean to see.   
Then he quickly cleaned, dried, and put away his dishes from the morning. He didn't have any other chores that needed to be done so he grabbed his book and curled up on the couch to read. Dean had told him to wait up but for seemingly the first time in months we wasn't tired after the relaxing day he'd had with Mrs. Davis. 

Dean quietly opened the front door, stepping inside he closed it as gently as he could. It was after midnight and Sam was usually asleep by now.   
He winced slightly when he heard nails on hardwood running towards him; clearly Bear had heard him come in. Usually though Bear would be upstairs in bed with Sam, or in his kennel for the night. It didn't make sense that Sam would leave the puppy free in the house if he wasn't up to keep an eye on him during the night.  
Bear bolted around the corner and happily yelped at Dean, trying to get attention. Dean turned to pet the puppy but stopped when he saw Sam gently leaning against the wall, very much so awake.   
"I thought I told you not to stay up. You need your rest Sam." Sam shrugged,  
"Wasn't tired, had a lazy day." Dean sighed.  
"Well I'm going to bed now so you better as well." Dean walked past Sam and started making his way upstairs to their bedroom. Sam followed behind him silently.   
Walking into their bedroom Dean quickly stripped out of his work clothes and changed into loose sweatpants and a T-shirt and headed to the bathroom to go through his nightly routine. Sam sat down on the bed and waited, already having gotten ready for bed a couple hours ago.   
Dean walked out of the bathroom and paused when he saw Sam waiting patiently for him on their bed. Raising an eyebrow he looked at Sam questioningly.   
"It's after midnight. The garage doesn't stay open till midnight." Dean sighed.  
"It doesn't, and..?"  
"So where were you?"   
"I worked late then went to a bar." Sam was quiet for a few moments. It wasn't that Dean couldn't go to a bar, he had no problems with it. Just that Dean going to a bar alone. A bar probably filled with young, beautiful, definitely-not-heavily-pregnant women who would certainly love to take Dean to their bed were there. Dean got under the covers and looked at Sam expectantly, slightly annoyed. He knew he shouldn't be but he was still just annoyed in general over their fights lately and Sam pushing him away. Dean looked at him expectantly but all Sam said in reply was "oh".   
"Sam all I got was a few drinks with guys from work. What'd you think I was doing?" Sam looked away, getting settled into bed.   
"Nothing. Forget it." Sam mumbled. Dean's expression softened.   
"Hey. Look at me Sammy." Dean took Sam's face gently in his hands and turned him to make Sam look him in the eyes.  
"I'd never do that baby. Ever. You know that right?" Sam shrugged.  
"Of course I do Dean?"   
"Apparently you don't. Sammy, what makes you think I would?"   
"I'm huge." Dean sighed.  
"Sammy I thought you were over that, I told you that I love-" Sam interrupted him.  
"I know Dean. But that still doesn't compare to a young, hot, in shape blonde who isn't pregnant!" Dean shook his head and pulled Sam into his arms.  
"Sammy I don't care about that. I didn't fall in love with you for your body. Besides," Dean leaned in and pressed a kiss underneath Sam's ear,   
"I'm more into tall brunettes than blondes." Sam couldn't help the slight, and damnit it wasn't a giggle it was manly, laugh that escaped him at that. He turned and snuggled into Dean's hold.   
"I love you Dean." Dean pressed a kiss to the top of Sam's head.   
"I love you too Sammy."

Dean held him until Sam fell asleep then quietly slipped out of bed and headed downstairs with his cell phone in hand. Grabbing his jacket he fished out the number given to him tonight at the bar. Dialing the number Dean waited for an answer. A voice answered,  
"Hello?" Dean cleared his voice and spoke softly so that Sam wouldn't possibility wake up and hear him.  
"Hey it's me, I've been thinking and I'm in. Where do you want to meet?"   
The voice gave off a meeting place. Dean knew it, a cheap motel room down town.   
"Alright I'll meet you there tomorrow night."   
"What about that husband of yours?" Dean shook his head slightly.  
"Don't worry, I'll tell him I'm just tell him my boss asked me to work late."   
"Oh, I'm gonna need you a little longer than a few hours." Dean sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.  
"I'll tell him I have to work late and then say my boss asked me to stay late to go over some details for an out of town project. Tell him I'll have to leave town for a few days."  
"Wonderful, that'll give us plenty of time. I'll see you tomorrow night, don't keep me waiting OK?"   
"Alright. I'll see you then. Be ready for when I get there alright? Like you said, we won't have much time before Sam gets suspicious." With that Dean hung up and went back upstairs to his sleeping husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	11. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Mrs. Davis plant a garden.
> 
> Dean meets with his mystery caller.

Dean gently shook Sam awake the next morning. Sam mumbled something about leaving him alone, that pregnant people need sleep. Dean just shook him more to get his attention. Once he had it he spoke.  
"Sammy my boss called me, he wants me to stay late again tonight. I'm sorry. He said he really wanted to talk to me about something and go over some details." Sam groaned.  
"I wanted you home, was gonna cook you a real special supper." Dean's smile faltered, re thinking what he was doing, but he shook his head. It was too late now.  
"I know baby, I'm sorry. You can make it some other time for me."  
"M'k" Dean sighed and pressed a kiss to Sam's forehead before heading to work. 

Sam woke up to his alarm going off. He groaned and then remembered why he had set an alarm. He had to go over to Mrs. Davis's to get started on a garden. Getting up Sam stretched and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Everyday clothes would be needed since they were going to be working with plants and probably getting dirty.  
Once he was dressed he ate a quick breakfast and headed over to Mrs. Davis's.  
Sam knocked on her door and she practically instantly answered it, a huge smile on her face.  
"Samuel! Wonderful, you're right on time! Now I have everything loaded into my car, I know you're right down the street but it's a lot to carry for the two of us. I figured it would be easier and we could get started faster." Sam nodded and followed her to her car. 

"Alright, so flowers are best in the front and food is best in the back. We'll get started on flowers first." Sam nodded and helped her carry everything over.  
"Now these aren't seeds as you can see. They've already grown and bloomed so it saves lots of time. I went and bought enough to fill my garden because of the late frost we got this year I figured all my flowers would have died, but low and behold unless I was seeing things they all survived so I have a garden's worth of flowers and food I don't have the space for. Sure glad I could give em to you Dearie." Sam grinned and Mrs. Davis made quick work of showing him what to do and where to plant the flowers and they were quickly finished. 

They were done right before one in the afternoon and Sam ushered Mrs. Davis inside, insisting on feeding her since she fed him yesterday and gave him all the plants. Sam quickly fried up some chicken while Mrs. Davis gave him pointers on how to make it. She disappeared for a little bit, said she needed to go grab something from her house and to  
"stay here Dearie, I'll be quick." When she returned she was holding a thing of ice cream and a liter of root beer.  
"I bought this a few days ago hoping my grand babies would be coming home but the plans fell through. So I figured you and I could have root beer floats and what was left of that lemonade." Sam nodded enthusiastically.  
"That sounds great Nona, the chicken just finished too so we can eat now." As Sam served them both a plate Mrs. Davis made the root beer floats and poured them each a glass of lemonade.  
They ate, and talked about plans for the fruits and vegetables and where to put them in the back yard. Once they were done they made quick work of the dishes and headed out back and formed a little garden area. Sam made a mental note to get some decorative blocks to surround it and make more like a garden. They sectioned of areas for everything and by five in the evening with only two water and rest breaks they were done. Mrs. Davis explained to him how to take care of everything and to come to her if he needed anything and if he had any questions. Sam promised he would, and that soon he would bring HER over a baked good to share since she had done so for him. He enjoyed their days spent together and looked forward to the next one.  
Once she left Sam sighed, Dean was going to be home late again. He heated up some left overs for himself for supper and heated up a little bit for Bear too. Heading to the living room he settled himself on the couch and flipped through Netflix looking for something to watch. 

Dean pulled into the motel parking lot, and stopped infront of room number 7. He could still back out. Go back to Sam and pretend he never did it, never considered it. Except he had, and he knew he was going to do it. Sighing he got out of the impala and headed for the door. Knocking on it he heard shuffling and the door opened slightly to check who it was.  
The person grinned as soon as they saw it was Dean and pulled him inside shutting the door behind him.  
"I wasn't sure if you'd actually show up. I'm glad you did though." Dean nodded, looking around.  
"Well I'm here so let's get started."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why root beer floats? Probably because I have actually written the past few while working out and obviously all you want is to be in healthy when trying to be healthy.
> 
> As always, more to come and let me know what you think!


	12. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam figures out Dean has lied to him about his business trip.

Dean hovered over the lore book, looking for any information they needed.  
"So this witch, do you know exactly what we're dealing with as far as power?" The other hunter, Marcus, looked up from where he was reading.   
"I know that her sister was damn hard to kill, and that this one's more powerful than she was. She's also pissed at us for killing her sister. That's why we wanted another hand, extra muscle. Liz and I know you and Sam had retired, but you were the only one near by and available and I swear I wouldn't have come to you unless we seriously needed your help and-" Dean held up a hand to stop him.   
"It's perfectly OK, I'm happy to help. Could use one too. It's hard to just stop completely, I've missed this." Marcus nodded.  
"I understand, Liz and I tried the normal life for a little bit, we started itching for another hunt quickly and figured this was what we were meant to do."   
"I understand, I would still be hunting honestly if I wasn't for Sam. I love him, and I love the life we've built together. I love our son that we're going to have soon, but I miss this. Hunting. I won't leave Sam but sometimes I wish, when I see something online that's a clear hunt, or on the news; I wish we'd never decided to settle down." Dean sighed.   
"I know though I wouldn't change it for the world though. Ever." They both looked up then suddenly, quickly drawing their guns when the door started rattling. They quickly put them down though when Marcus's wife and hunting partner, Liz, walked into the room. She smiled politely at Dean when she noticed him.  
"Dean Winchester. I wasn't sure you were going to come, you seemed pretty apprehensive at the bar." Dean shrugged.  
"Well I came. Did you figure anything out about this witch?"   
"I did. She's strong, but shes vulnerable when she's casting a spell because her power goes to that. That's when we attack her. Simple witch bullets will do the trick. If we don't get her then, then I don't know any other way to kill her." Marcus nodded.  
"How will we get her to cast a spell though?"   
"That's where she sent Bill, she-" Dean held up a hand, stopping her.  
"Hold up who's Bill?"  
"Another hunter, tried to help us with this but he went in alone and she got him. She sent him, somewhere, I don't know why he was already pretty much dead by the time she cast it but.." Liz shook her head, clearing it; "but I was able to figure out where she sent him. Basically what everything translated into was that she sent him to Purgatory, to be finished off." Dean leaned forward in his seat.  
"Then she can do the spell to me." They both turned and looked at him.  
"What?"  
"I've been to Purgatory before, I can get out easily. I'll distract her while you two go in and kill her." They both shook their heads.  
"Dean that's extremely risky."  
"I've been there before, I can manage it. Trust me." They sighed.  
"Alright, where will you need us?" 

They made a game plan, Dean would take the blunt of the spell and be sent to Purgatory, then they would hightail it, after the witch was killed, up to where Dean would be released once he went through the portal. It seemed pretty fool proof and Dean prayed it would work.   
After they'd figured everything out Dean told them goodnight, promising to meet them tomorrow morning early to head out.

Walking through the front door Dean sighed when he was greeted by Bear, knowing that if Bear was out Sam was still up; and Sam really should have been in bed when it was nearly midnight and he was heavily pregnant. Walking around the corner he saw Sam on the couch waiting patiently for him. Sighing Dean spoke,  
"Sammy, you should be in bed. You can't keep staying up this late." Sam shook his head and stood up, going over to Dean he wrapped his arms around his husband and leaned into him best he could with his belly in the way.   
"I wanted to stay up and greet you." Dean rubbed Sam's back soothingly,  
"Well now that you have how about we both get to bed." Dean took a deep breath before continuing;  
"I have something I need to tell you too." Sam stepped back and looked at Dean. Dean just shook his head and motioned for Sam to go upstairs.  
Once they were both in bed Sam turned to Dean.  
"What do you need to talk about?"  
"My boss wanted me to stay late tonight; to talk to me about going up on kind of a business trip to meet with a manufacturer and develop an agreement for them and the shop to work together for us to common car parts we need all the time for a cheaper price and to give more business to them. I would have to be out of town for a few days though and won't be home. Not for long though, only a few days." Sam looked surprised for a moment before he broke out in a huge grin.  
"Dean that's great! They're trusting you to go and do something that important! I'm so proud of you!" Sam pressed a kiss to Dean's lips, before hugging him. Dean kissed him back, hoping Sam didn't realize it was only half hearted.   
"Yea Sammy, it's pretty good. So you're OK with me being away for a few days? I'll be leaving tomorrow morning." Sam pulled away slightly.  
"So soon? He couldn't have given you a sooner notice?" Dean shrugged.   
"I guess not, I can manage though."  
"Alright, I guess but of course you can go Dean! The baby and I will be perfectly fine! He's not due for another month." Dean chuckled.  
"Well with Winchester luck he would decide to make a surprise appearance the moment I'm out of town." Sam laughed at that.  
"Hopefully not, I'm sure everything will be OK Dean."   
"I know Sammy." Dean pressed a kiss to Sam's forehead, settling Sam into their arms and feeling Sam quickly fall asleep. 

The next morning Dean pressed a kiss to a mostly still asleep Sammy's forehead before grabbing his duffle bag and leaving to meet up with Marcus and Liz. He hoped everything went smoothly.

Dean pulled into the parking lot of the motel, surprised to find them already loaded and waiting outside for him. He parked and got out to meet them. Marcus stepped forward to talk.  
"Alright, we want to get moving right away so if you're ready we can just head on out right away."   
"Sounds good. I'll follow you two." Nodding Marcus for into his car with Liz and Dean headed to the impala. Within moments they were on the road heading towards the hunt. 

Sam woke up to his phone going off, squinting at the screen he saw the name "Beth" on. Sam had met Beth when he had been put shopping for baby stuff a few months ago and they had become friends, Beth had been there because she was looking into actually adopting a baby from a male carrier and was getting supplies and had immediately been intrigued by Sam since he was a male carrier. Answering Sam was instantly met with her asking him if Dean was home.   
"No Dean's on a business trip, why?"  
"Are you home? We need to talk. Now."  
"I'm home, what's going on?"  
"I'll be at your house in fifteen minutes." She abruptly hung up and Sam stared at his phone screen confused before shaking his head and rolling out of bed to get dressed.  
Less than fifteen minutes later Beth was knocking on the front door, as soon as Sam answered she was walking inside. Sam grinned, Beth was definitely forward.  
"Beth how are you? How's the adoption going?"   
"Oh, the adoption is pretty much finalized. He's due in three months."  
"That's good. So why exactly did you need to talk to me right away?"  
"I saw Dean at a bar the other night." Sam raised an eyebrow,  
"yea I know, he told me."  
"Did he tell you about the girl he talked to? Who gave him her number and he accepted it?"   
"What?"  
"I saw him talking to a girl, and she gave him her number and he took it. Then I was driving and passed that crappy little motel downtown and saw her walking into one of the rooms, and Dean's car was parked infront of the door."  
"That can't be right."  
"It is Sam. Last night I saw it myself." Sam's head snapped up at that.  
"He was working late last night, he said he was at the garage." Beth just shook her head.  
"Sam, he was at the motel last night." Sam slowly sank onto the couch. Beth sat down beside him.  
"Sam, where's Dean now?"   
"He said he was going on a business trip."   
"Call his boss." Sam blindly fumbled for his phone and dialed Dean's boss's number. After a few moment a gruff voice answered.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey, Chris. It's Sam Winchester."  
"Sam! What can I do for you?" Sam took a deep breath praying that he confirmed what Dean had told him.  
"I wanted to talk to you about the business trip you sent Dean on."  
"Business trip? What business trip?"  
"The one about Dean going to make a deal about car parts...?"   
"Sam that deal was closed last month, we got it. I didn't send Dean on any business trip, he took a few days off for personal business but that's it." Sam rubbed a hand over his face.  
"Alright thank you Chris."  
"Sam is everything alright?"   
"Yea, yea everything's OK. Thanks."  
Sam hung up and let the phone fall into his lap. Beth placed a hand comfortingly on his shoulder.   
"What he say?"  
"Dean's not in a business trip, he took a few personal days though."   
"Sam do your think...?" Sam just shook his head.  
"I don't know. Beth I just, I don't know."   
Sam sighed again, head dropping to his hands. He turned slightly and looked at a picture of him and Dean on the table. It was right after they bought the house. They were both so happy in it. It seemed like ever since he'd come home from the hospital they'd been having problems, going down hill. It was his fault. He wouldn't tell Dean about the nightmares, about Lucifer. He'd pushed Dean away. Apparently pushed him into another women's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, and more to come!


	13. Home to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So short I know! I'm sorry! I just got back from a road trip (we stopped in Lawrence!) and I'm going through a bit of writers block as well as being busy with work lately! I'm sorry again!

Sam clutched a pillow to his chest and cried. He had asked Beth to leave awhile ago, saying he needed to be alone. The moment she had left Sam had instantly picked back up his cell phone and tried to call Dean's number multiple times; Dean hadn't picked up though. So here Sam was, crying with Bear whining silently at his feet at his master's distress. He was being irrational, Dean would never cheat on Sam. Everything might be pointing to that but it couldn't be true, right? Dean wasn't a cheater. He shouldn't have pushed Dean away, shouldn't have lied to him about the nightmares. He should have been a better husband. It was already late in the evening, Sam was tired. He needed sleep, it would all make sense in the morning, Dean would probably have called him back by then and given Sam a perfectly reasonable explanation to all of this. With that though Sam nodded to himself, wiping away his tears he headed up stairs and went to bed. 

Sam woke with a start, gasping for breath. He was covered in a light sheen of sweat. Another nightmare, Lucifer had been taunting him. Telling him how of course Dean was cheating on him. Why wouldn't he be? Sam wasn't anything special. He wasn't attractive, certainly not so heavily pregnant; of course Dean would bed a fit, trim, beautiful young woman.  
Sam couldn't believe those things. They had a child on the way, Dean wouldn't jeopardize that. 

Dean sat down on the motel bed with a sigh. He had thought he would never have to sleep in another one of these again, preferring his and Sam's new, comfortable mattress. Yet here he was, going behind Sam's back and hunting. They had all checked into a motel in the town where the witch was. Tomorrow they were planning on heading out and starting on hunting the bitch down.  
Sighing he pulled out his phone, 5 missed calls from Sam, and texts asking him where he was, what he was doing. He'd call Sam later, since Sam should be asleep by now, and they'd be on the move by the time Sam would be up. Dean sighed again; pulling up the gallery on his phone he looked at the most recent photo he had of Sam on it. He'd taken it last week when Sam hadn't been paying attention, to focused in a book. He had looked so adorable, (not that Dean would tell him that ever) forehead scrunched in concentration that Dean couldn't help but take a picture.  
"I'll be home soon Sammy. Just take care of yourself and our son till I get back and I'll tell you the truth."  
With that Dean shut off his phone and got under the covers, he had to get some sleep to be on top of his game for the hunt. He wouldn't let a simple mistake keep him from getting back to Sam and their son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought, more to come as always!


	14. Purgatory and Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam wants answers.  
> Marcus, Liz, and Dean go after the witch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while on a plane.  
> Sorry for not updating in forever!

"Liz and I will take the witch out while you distract her. While you get her attention on you we will be waiting to the south side ready to make the kill when she won't suspect it." Dean nodded along, mapping in his head where Marcus was pointing on a map of the forest the witch was calling home for the time being.   
"Dean?" Dean looked up to meet Liz's concerned face.  
"Dean are you sure you want to do this? Like we said it's very risky. We don't know if she will for sure send you to Purgatory." Dean shook his head.  
"You said that's what she's done to everyone else, I shouldn't be an exception."   
"But, Sam, your baby...."   
"I will be fine. I want to help, this is how I can." Liz nodded, still seemingly unconvinced but not pushing the topic any further.   
"Well then, shall we head out? If we leave now we will get there in plenty of time to get her." Marcus said, picking up the duffle with everything they would need to kill the witch. Dean and Liz nodded in agreement.   
Heading to the impala, Dean pulled out his phone. Bring up Sam's contact he quickly typed out a quick text.  
"Business is going fine. I'm doing good. Miss you and love you. Will be home soon."   
Hitting send Dean got into the impala and followed Marcus and Liz to the forest. 

Sam grabbed his phone, seeing he had a text. It was from Dean. Taking a deep breath he opened it, reading the message he re read it again. Sam knew Dean wasn't on a business trip; his husband was lying straight to his face. Sam sunk down onto their bed. Had Dean ever had someone else in this bed besides Sam? Had be brought someone home during one of the few times Sam had been out of the house. How long had Dean been lying to him, sneaking behind his back? How long had he been blind? Sam's head fell into his hands. He bit his lip, trying his best to hold back tears. Was this his fault? He had pushed Dean away, had lied about his nightmares. He had practically forced Dean out of the life of hunting he loved, as much as Dean claimed he wanted the baby, wanted their family they were creating together; Sam knew he missed hunting. Sam did too sometimes, all it took though was a kick from Mikey to remind him what he was giving it up for, and how much it was worth it. At least it was worth it to him.  
God.   
Sam let out a sob; the tears falling.   
He was loosing his husband, and it was his fault. 

Dean nodded to Marcus as the two hunters headed off to take their position. They had eyes on the witch, the element of surprise was on their side. Once they were hidden Dean cautiously stepped out from his hiding place.   
"Hey." Dean called out to the witch, her back was turned from Dean.   
"Hey, lady!" Dean walked forward, the witch still not indicating she'd heard him. Walking forward more Dean reached out to touch her, gun drawn. As soon as he did though, her image broke up like he was running his hand through smoke. Realizing instantly it was a trap Dean swung around, coming face to face with the real witch. Before he could raise his weapon though she chanted something and he was thrown back against a tree, unable to move. The witch cocked her head slightly, studying him for a moment. Then she laughed and swung her hand, chanting something again. Marcus and Liz were pulled out from the trees and pinned to the ground. Walking towards them she placed a hand on Liz's head. Suddenly a soft light erupted from her palm where she was touching her and Liz tensed up before screaming in pain. Marcus gasped, screaming at the witch to stop hurting her, not to touch her. Turning her attention away from Liz the witch retracted her hand and Liz crumpled on the ground, unconscious. Suddenly Dean felt the pressure keeping him pinned fall. Marcus must have been freed as well because he was practically instantly at Liz's side. Cradling her head in his hands, he begged her to wake up.  
"Liz, Lizzy please wake up! Liz please! Liz! Elizabeth!" Looking up at the witch, Marcus glared at her.  
"What did you do to her? What did you do?!"   
Dean scrambled for the weapon to kill the witch with while Marcus had her attention. The witch quickly spun around, seeing what Dean was doing she quickly started chanting, angling her palms out towards him. Dean sliced his palm, dripping blood onto the bullet, the final ingredient, fresh blood of the shooter; and aimed it at the witch. Just as he pulled the trigger a blast of light erupted from her palms and hit Dean. Dean saw her fall, dead, before the light surrounded him; blindingly bright. A falling sensation surrounded him and within moments Dean felt his back hit hard ground, the air knocked out of him.

Sam climbed out of Beth's car. He had called her, asking if she would come with him to try and figure out what was going on, to get some answers. They had decided it was best to start at the bar where Beth had seen Dean at. Walking inside they headed for the bar.   
Flagging down the bartender, Sam took a deep breath. He has questioned plenty of people before, interviewed and integrated. He knew how to get answers.  
Except he usually wasn't questioning people about his possibly unfaithful husband. The bartender came over then, leaning closer to Sam. He flashed Sam a charming smile.  
"What can I get for you handsome?" Sam leaned back a bit, he wasn't in the mood to flirt for information. The bartender glanced down and his eyes widened slightly at Sam's swollen middle.   
"Uh, sorry buddy. Can't serve you when you're pregnant. Especially that pregnant." He leaned away from Sam. Sam shook his head.  
"We want to ask you some questions."   
"About?" Sam took his phone out, pulling up a picture of Dean.  
"Have you seen this man before?" Sam placed his phone on the bar, showing the bartender the picture. He studied it for a moment before nodding.  
"Yea, guy was in here a couple nights ago."  
"Was he talking to anyone?"  
"Yea, some chick came up to him. They chatted for a little bit and she gave him a number and motel room address and told him she'd see him soon." Sam took a breath to steady himself.  
"You're sure?"   
"Yea, I'm positive. Why? He your boyfriend or something?"   
"Or something. My husband." The bartender whistled softly.   
"Man." He leaned forward towards Sam again.  
"If you were my husband, I'd never risk cheating and loosing you. Wouldn't even think about it handsome." Sam blushed at the comment. The bartender winked at him.   
"So if that's all, maybe I can help you get a little revenge. I don't mind pregnant guys."   
"No, no thank you. I won't be unfaithful." The bartender shrugged,  
"alright, but if you change your mind or get a divorce; you know where to find me gorgeous." He winked at Sam again before walking away to serve other customers.   
Sam took a deep breath. Dean really had gone and met up with another woman. He felt Beth place her hand gently on his shoulder.  
"Sam?" Sam shook his head, turning to leave.  
"Let's just go, I need to get out of here." Beth nodded, following Sam out.

Dean opened his eyes, trying to catch his breath from hitting the ground.   
Standing up he looked around at the all to familiar surroundings.  
Purgatory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! More to come as always!


	15. Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean deals with being back in purgatory.

Dean looked around, checking his surroundings. As far as he could tell there weren't any monsters around for the moment. He knew that wouldn't last though, as soon as they realized there was a human in purgatory they would all come for him just like they had last time.  
Pulling out the machete he had secured to his waist before they had gone out to hunt the witch Dean took a deep breath. Closing his eyes for a moment he steadied himself. He couldn't mess up, couldn't get injured. He had to move quickly, Sam would get worried if he didn't hear from him after awhile. He had a husband and unborn son to get home to. Dean couldn't leave Sam alone and pregnant again. 

 

Sam opened the door to the house, turning around he waved good bye to Beth. She waved back and drove away, leaving Sam alone. He had insisted. She had her own agenda, after all she had a baby on the way with her adoption. Sam also just wanted to be alone. He just wanted to curl in bed and sleep. Dean would have to come back eventually, and when he did, Sam would be ready for him. 

 

Dean headed in the direction of the portal to get back to Earth. He was already attracting attention though, a few shifters had attacked him a ways back. They had been easy to take out, but Dean knew it would continue. He was ready for the constant fighting, was looking forward to it. He needed it, having gone nearly a year without hunting he was itching to fight any Supernatural creature he could.  
Dean knew it wasn't fair, wasn't right. He had promised Sam he would be done hunting. They would live together, safe and happy, with their son. He just couldn't help it though, he'd done it his entire life. It was difficult to just stop. This would be it though, he would get it out of his system once and for all. Constant fighting, the pureness of Purgatory; it would be perfect to get hunting out of his system once and for all. He would get back to Sam and they would live happily ever after.  
Hearing a noise to his left, Dean was jerked out of his thoughts. Gripping his machete Dean readied himself for another fight. A werewolf lunged at him from the cover of the forest. Dean dodged it easily enough, taking a swing at it as it went by. The werewolf howled in pain at the nasty laceration Dean had made across it's shoulder. Dean grinned to himself as they started circling each other. The werewolf growling the entire time lunged at him again, right as Dean went to swing again, but the creature took a sharp right at the last moment; causing Dean to miss. Dean turned quickly, catching it's arm and twisted hard, and chuckled when he heard the pop of the shoulder leaving it's socket. The werewolf was stunned momentarily from the pain, and Dean took the distraction to behead it cleanly.  
Standing over the dead body Dean caught his breath, looking down at it smirking.  
"Man that felt good." 

Sam clicked "next episode" on Netflix. It was late, and he knew he should be asleep, he just couldn't though. He would only dream of Lucifer.  
Sam stared at his laptop screen, lost in the episode. He startled slightly when the bed suddenly dipped in weight. Looking to his left he saw Bear had jumped up onto the bed. Sighing he scratched the dog's head when Bear settled it on his lap.  
"Hey there buddy." Bear looked up at Sam, then glanced at Dean's spot. He looked at Sam again almost questioningly. Sam sighed again.  
"I don't know where he is Bud." Bear licked Sam's hand at that. Sam smiled slightly. Shutting his laptop and setting it to the side, Sam turned off the table lamp. Pulling the covers up over himself Bear whined slightly.  
"Oh, alright." Sam pulled the covers back.  
"Get under here." Bear licked Sam's face happily before lying down next to him. Sam lied down again next to him and pulled the covers up over them both. He wrapped an arm around Bear, hand tangling in the soft fur. Closing his eyes Sam let sleep overtake him.

Gasping, Sam was awoken to Bear licking his face, whining. Pushing he dog off him slightly Sam looked at his phone. 2 A.M. Of course Sam had had another nightmare. Bear must have realized it, and woken him up before it could get bad. Sam looked at the dog thankfully. Bear was watching him, almost with a look of concern on his face. Sam reached out and pet him softly, causing Bear to instantly curl up next to him happily. Sam got comfortable in bed again, still petting the dog. Letting sleep overcome him Sam pressed his face into Dean's pillow. Getting comfort from both Bear and the smell of Dean on his pillow Sam was able to sleep without another nightmare. 

Dean, swung cutting off one of the vampire's heads that had attacked him. He wasn't quick enough to turn though, and the other attacked him from behind; throwing him onto his back. It pinned Dean's arms to the ground before letting it's fangs descend. Dean tried to buck the creature off but he was immobilized. Suddenly though it's head was jerked back and cut off. Dean turned his head to avoid the spray of blood the best he could. The body instantly became slack and Dean pushed it off him. Looking up at his savior Dean took the offered hand. His savior pulled Dean to his feet. Looking Dean up and down the monster couldn't help but chuckle, shrugging.  
It spoke with a familiar Cajun accent Dean had come to trust.  
"Never expected to see you back here Brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always more to come!  
> Let me know what you thought!


	16. Out of Time

"Never expected to see you back here Brother." Dean grinned at the vampire. Chuckling he answered,  
"Yea I never expected to be back here myself."   
"What brought you back then? I can't imagine it was just to see my handsome face again." Dean shook his head.  
"Witch sent me here."   
"Of course." Laughing Benny pulled Dean into a hug.   
"It's good to see you again brother."  
"Yea it is. Been too long." Pulling away Benny looked around.  
"So, if you're here; where's Sam?" Dean rubbed the back of his neck.  
"Uh, well Sam isn't here."  
"Well then he must be worried about you."   
"That's actually, well, Sam doesn't know I was on a hunt."   
"What? Why doesn't Sam know?"  
"Well the thing is...."  
Dean continued to tell Benny about how they had finished the trials, and afterwards Sam saying he wanted to try for another baby; so that led to them settling down, getting a house, and basically retiring from hunting. Dean told Benny about Sam being pregnant and Mikey. He told him about Sam's fever and panic attack. About the nightmares he wouldn't talk to Dean about. Finally he got to lying to Sam, leaving on the hunt, and finally ending up in Purgatory.  
At the end of it all Benny let out a low whistle.   
"Well brother, sounds like you got yourself in alot of trouble." Dean nodded.   
"We better get you back topside again, so you can explain it all to Sam."   
"I know Benny. I know." Nodding Benny turned towards the direction the portal was and started walking. Sighing Dean followed him.

Sam woke slowly. He smiled softly and snuggled into the soft fur next to him. Suddenly he felt a wetness of face face and his eyes snapped open. He couldn't help but laugh when he saw it was Bear. A wave of sadness hit him then when he realized Dean wasn't back. Sighing he cuddled closer to Bear for a moment before getting up for the day. He didn't feel like doing anything today though except lounge so he just headed downstairs, Bear at his heels. He made himself some breakfast and headed to the living room with it. Curling up on the couch Sam turned on Netflix and got comfy. Bear jumped up on the couch and instantly started sniffing at Sam's breakfast. Laughing Sam moved his food out of the dog's reach.  
"No no Bear, this is mine." Petting the dog Sam chose a movie to watch on Netflix. 

"So how far do you think we are from the portal?" Dean asked. They had already been walking a few hours and didn't seem any closer to the portal. Benny looked over at him.  
"Well, remember last time it took us a year to get to it." Dean froze, eyes going wide. Benny stopped walking as well and looked back at him.  
"Problem brother?"   
"A..a year? Benny I can't be gone for a year! Sam's eight months pregnant!"   
"Dean! I was joking! Remember we spent a lot of this time going all over looking for Wings? We're only a couple days away."  
"How many days?" Benny got looked at the direction they were heading, thinking.   
"I would say seven or eight days."   
"Seven or eight days? Benny I'm supposed to be back in two!"   
"Well brother, I gotta say, you brought this on yourself. Shouldn't have lied to Sam." Dean rubbed a hand over his face.  
"I know, it was stupid. I just- I don't know. I have to make it back and I can't even call him to tell him I'm gonna be late."   
"Dean, we'll get you back to your husband and baby; and then you're gonna tell him the truth. Ok?" Dean nodded.  
"Ok." 

Sam checked his phone. Still no messages from Dean. He dialed Dean's number; groaning and tossing the phone on the couch when it when straight to voicemail. Dean hadn't called him or answered his messages and he was supposed to be back in two days. They had a doctors appointment in three days to go to. His eight month check up, it was important to him. Dean knew that. He had made it past the most stressful month for him, his seventh. He had lost Joan at seven months and Dean knew how difficult it was for him, especially after his fever and panic attack when he was seven months along. Dean had to be there. He had to be.

Dean wiped the blood from his machete off. They had just been attacked by vampires. It had been just like old times, how easily they fell into synch with each other or take the vampires out quickly and efficiently. The only problem though was with all the fighting, it was probably going to be eight days before they got to the portal. After that it was a two day drive before he would be back home. Sam was going to be pissed. 

Sam stood at the stove cooking some dinner, he still hadn't heard from Dean. Sighing he picked up his cell phone and tried Dean's cell again, it only went to voicemail again though. Sighing he listened as it told him to leave a message at the beep.   
"Dean. Please, call me back. We need to talk, I, please. Whatever's going on... we have a son on the way. Just remember that if nothing else, please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought!


	17. Appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam goes to his appointment, Dean misses it.

Sam woke up the the beeping of his alarm clock, groaning he rolled over and turned it off. Dean hadn't answered his voicemail from a few days ago, or any other of his calls. He was supposed to have been home by now, he had a doctors appointment today for a check up. Dean wasn't supposed to miss it, he had been there for all the others.  
Sighing he rolled out of bed, Bear hot on his heels as always, and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

 

Benny shook Dean awake. They had been walking for a few days and had decided to stop and rest. Dean jerked awake, his eyes darting around looking for danger.  
"Relax brother." Benny held his hands up.  
"Not a threat." Dean nodded, getting up. Stretching Dean looked around again. Suddenly he realized what day it was and swore under his breath. Benny looked at him confused, raising an eyebrow in question.  
"Problem?"  
"Sam.. Sam has an appointment today for a checkup on the baby. I'm gonna miss it. I've been there for all the others and this one...this one was important to him. He's eight months and like you know, he lost Joan at seven so he made it past his scariest month to him. He was so excited about it and I'm gonna miss it...." They were both silent for a moment before Benny spoke.  
"Well then we better get a move on, or else you might just miss the birth of the little one. I'm sure Sam would be extremely mad about that." Dean's head snapped up at that.  
"Oh god Benny, I must be stressing Sam out so much what if he goes into early labor? Benny I'll miss it, I can't miss it Sam will never forgive me! I can't-" Benny placed his hands on Dean's shoulders, silencing him.  
"Dean. Look at me brother. You're freaking out way to early. Pre parental panic isn't supposed to come until right before or when the baby is being born. You can't be worrying over things that aren't a problem yet, OK? Just focus on getting back to them as quickly as possible. That's what you have to focus on." Dean sighed.  
"You're right. I just have to get back to them. Soon."

 

Sam walked in the reception area and headed towards the desk. Getting the receptionist's attention she looked up at him and smiled in greeting.  
"What can I do for yah hun?"  
"I'm here for an appointment, Sam Winchester." She typed on her computer for a moment before she turned her attention back to him smiling.  
"He will be ready for you shortly. Have a seat sugar."  
Sam nodded in thanks and went to take a seat.  
After a few minutes a nurse came out and called out for him.  
"Sam Winchester for Doctor Paul?" Sam stood up, and she smiled at him.  
"How are you and the baby today Sam?" Sam smiled and rubbed his baby bump, looking down at his distended middle.  
"We're both doing good."  
"That's good, Dean couldn't make it today?" Sam's smile faltered for a moment before he recovered.  
"No, he uh, couldn't make it today."  
"Shame. Well, you know the drill; I'll let you get dressed and the doctor will be with you shortly." 

After a few minutes Dr. Paul opened the door grinning at Sam.  
"Sam!" He held out his hand for Sam to shake. Sam took it and grinned back at the doctor.  
"How are you doing today?"  
"I'm doing good Doc, both of us are." Sam rubbed his swollen middle at that, looking down again at the swell.  
"I see Dean isn't here. Why's that?"  
"He couldn't make it."  
"Oh well hopefully he only misses this one. After all, if he starts missing everything else you only have one more appointment if everything, and everyone one stays on time," the doctor gestured to his middle,  
"After all the only thing left after the appointment is the birth and he sure can't miss that!" Dr. Paul chuckled and turned to get what he needed for the ultrasound.  
"Yea." Sam chuckled weakly.  
"He can't."

"Alright Sam." Dr. Paul gave Sam some paper towels to wipe the gel off his abdomen from the ultrasound.  
"Everything looks good. Though your blood pressure was a little high. Any idea why?" Sam waved the doctor off.  
"Oh you know, just a little stressed. I am pregnant after all and due in a month. I believe that allows me to be a little stressed."  
"Mmhm. It doesn't have anything to do with your husband not being here does it?" Sam bit his lip, looking down at his hands splayed out over his belly protectively.  
"No, it's- it's fine."  
"Are you sure? I know some wonderful counselors you know. Marriage counselors can help with all sorts of problems in a marriage.." Sam's head snapped up.  
"No! We don't need a counselor. We're fine!"  
"OK, I was just offering. It just seemed strange to see Dean missing an appointment and it seems like somethings wrong. I just wanted to help, I didn't mean to overstep." Sam sighed.  
"No, it's OK, you're just trying to help I understand. I'm sorry."  
"It's OK Sam, anyway I'll let you go. Stop by the front to make your next appointment and hopefully I'll see you in a month if the little one doesn't make a surprise appearance." Sam nodded. Dr. Paul left the room, and Sam got dressed then headed out to the front desk to schedule his next appointment. Hopefully Dean would be at the next one.


	18. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has a talk with his Nona.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I'm so sorry this took forever! I've been busy and had writers block.

Staring at the page in his book Sam sighed; he had been starring at the same line reading it over and over again for the last few minutes, not being able to process it. He couldn't stop thinking about what Beth had said, what Dr. Paul had said.   
Closing his book he let his head fall into his hands.   
What was he doing? Was it really that obvious to everyone that him and Dean were having problems? How long had this been going on? How could he have been so naive as to think that for the first time in what seemed like forever when everything was seemingly going right to believe it was fine? They were the Winchesters of course they couldn't have complete and utter happiness! Some higher-being always had to make sure of that. It was probably something's job somewhere to only make sure him and Dean couldn't have happiness.   
He needed to talk to someone, someone who would understand and not treat him with kid gloves. Sam stood up and walked to the front door. Hopefully Mrs. Davis was home.

Sam knocked on Mrs. Davis's front door, praying she would answer it and be able to talk. After a few moments it opened and Mrs. Davis appeared looking at Sam from behind her screen door.  
As soon as Mrs. Davis saw it was Sam her face lit up; opening the door she quickly ushered the man that was like a grandchild to her.   
"Samuel, what a lovely surprise. Come down here and give me a hug dear." Grinning Sam bent down slightly to embrace his grandmother figure.  
"Nona, it's good to see you."   
"Yes, well I live right up the street from you! I understand though you and Dean have been busy with the baby; though I expect to see both of you much more after the little ones born." She said, turning and walking towards her kitchen.   
"So, I can't believe you're over here to eat some of my cooking. What do you need dear?" Sam bit his lip.  
"I actually would like some advice; and to talk to you about Dean...." She turned and looked at him.   
"Well you came to the right place then. An old lady like me has plenty advice. Have a seat, I'll get us something to drink." 

Sam nodded gratefully when Mrs. Davis handed him a mug of tea. She sat down and took a sip of the tea; watching Sam. Sam taped the side of the mug before speaking.  
"My friend, Beth, saw Dean at a bar a little while ago. He was talking with a women and she gave him her number. He had claimed he was working late that night. Later he saw he had to leave town for a few days on a business trip." Sam continued his story as Mrs. Davis listened carefully, nodding her head.   
"Now he's late coming home and won't answer his phone or call me or text me back." Sam finished. Mrs. Davis was quiet for a moment before speaking.  
"Samuel, you have a child on the way. I know it's scary to think about raising a child on your own, and it's scary to say with Dean and have him continue to sneak around behind your back. What I can tell you is that you are a strong, smart, handsome young man. You are going to be an amazing parents, with or without Dean; and you deserve someone who is faithful to you. You deserve to be happy. Plenty of people are single parents and they are doing just fine dear. You were ready to raise your first baby by yourself without Dean, who says you can't do it again. You've already got everything you need, you'll do fine if you try to raise that baby on your own." Sam looked at her.  
"I don't know how to be a parent. It's terrifying to think about doing it on my own." Mrs. Davis scoffed.   
"And it isn't scary to think about doing it right now?! You're having a child! With or without someone that's one of the most terrifying things there is! Having a kid is hard whether you're single or not! You won't be alone either; you got friends. Honey I don't intend to cut you out. That baby is gonna be a my great grand baby understand? I intend on spoiling him, and helping you. I just won't be able to watch you raise that baby if it's also being raised by a cheater. It would break my old heart to watch you be unhappy like that." Sam nodded.  
"Thank you. I..I can't tell you how grateful I am to you."   
"You might not have all the facts, but it sure seems like it Hun. Go home now, think about it. Baby or no baby there will be plenty of guys and girls ready to swoop in and take Dean's spot if you decide to raise the baby yourself. Plenty of others who will thank the good Lord everyday that they would have you and be able to call you theirs. Plenty that would be faithful and give you the world and be a good partner to you and a good parent to your little one. Remember that dear." She ushered Sam to the door. Sam turned and bent down to hug her again.  
"Thank you so much Nona. I don't know what I would do without you." She smiled at that at patted his cheek gently.   
"Take care of yourself dear; and bring that pup over again sometime! Cute little thing! I got some more treats for him. Sam chuckled and turned, walking home. He had a lot to think about. For both his future and his son's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this is so short and so bad, I just wanted to get something out to you guys!


	19. Date

Sam paced back and forth; thinking about the last few days, the last few months. He couldn't get out of his head what Dr. Paul had said, what Mrs. Davis had said. He and Dean had been together for years, they'd gotten together as more than brothers only a few months after he had returned from Stanford. Sure they had been on and off; when Dean was in hell, when He was in hell. They had always come back to each other though. Dean was it for Sam, Sam knew that. He just wasn't so sure anymore if he was it for Dean.   
Sam shook his head to clear it. Heading upstairs to take a nap, maybe he just needed some rest, clear his head; instead he found himself pausing at the door to the nursery. Opening the door and stepping into the room Sam looked around the room. This room would have his son in it in less than a month. He and Dean would officially be parents in less than a month. The only question was would Dean actually be there to be a father?   
Sam sunk down into the rocking chair next to the crib. Was this his fault? Had he pushed Dean into something he really didn't want? Had Sam made him feel pressured into this? Dean always pretty much always caved to what Sam wanted whether it was what he wanted or not. Had that been what Dean did here? Seen how much Sam wanted this life? Wanted this baby? Had he given Sam this even when he really didn't want it himself? Was this all really his fault?   
Sam thought of Mrs. Davis, what she had said, what she would say to him thinking these things. No, Dean was an adult. He could have said no. He made his decision, and now Sam had to make his own.   
Was Mrs. Davis right? Did he deserve better? Sam knew he was a good looking guy, he didn't miss the looks he got from both women and men. Would anyone want a divorced single father though? He had never imagined himself, with a baby a normal life and house, without Dean apart of it. Was it time he changed that? Could he include someone else? Sam suddenly felt a kick from his son. Looking down at his stomach, he placed his hand over the spot where he had felt the kick. Almost instantly he felt another kick in the same spot. Sam stood up quickly, placing both his hands over his stomach he spoke partly to himself, partly to his son.  
"I do. I deserve better. You, you deserve better baby. I was plenty ready and prepared to raise a baby by myself last time. I can do it. I don't need Dean to do this. Why should I stay with him if he just cheats on me? I don't need to stay in a marriage with a man that won't even be faithful! I can raise you on my own! I will!" Sam couldn't help but laugh when he felt another kick, almost in agreement. Lovingly rubbing his hand over the spot he whispered.  
"We deserve better. I love you so much Mikey." 

Sam didn't have a car, that was his first thought when he went downstairs. Dean had the impala, he had to call a taxi every time he wanted to go somewhere and Dean wasn't around with the impala. He was gonna have to get one. For the moment though he would have to rely on a taxi. Picking up the phone he called for one and prepared himself mentally for what he was about to do. 

 

Dean swung at the shifter, easily cutting it's head off. Breathing heavily he looked around. They had been getting jumped left and right for the last few hours. Luckily though they were close to the portal. Benny looked back at him.   
"Ready to keep moving brother?" Still catching his breath, Dean nodded and started walking along side Benny.   
"I'm coming Sammy, just wait a little longer please." 

Dean mulled over in his head, trying to think of a way to bring the subject up that he wanted to talk about.   
"Benny. Would you.. consider something?" Benny looked over at him before shrugging,   
"depends what it is Chief."  
"Come back. I know where you're buried. Sam and I aren't hunting anymore, we can help you adjust this time better. I would really like to have you around man. I would love for you to be in my son's life." Benny stopped walking. Dean stopped also and looked at him.  
"You sure do never ask for something small do you Chief." Benny chuckled.   
"Listen I know last time was tough for you, but this time you know, we can help you." Benny looked thoughtful.  
"You know, that doesn't sound half bad. Some one has to be around to keep you in line."   
"So does that mean...." Dean said hopefully. Benny grinned, nodding.  
"Yea, I'll give life top side another shot brother." Dean grinned.  
"Thank you. Really." Benny started walking again, as did Dean.  
"Any time brother. Any time." 

 

Dean leaned back against the rock. They had stopped for a break, fighting almost constantly and walking was tiring to anyone, especially a human.   
"So how long do you think till we reach the portal?"  
"If we keep walking, about two, two and a half days." Benny said.  
"Of course if we keep getting attacked like we are; you can change that to about four to five." Dean's head snapped up.  
"What? Benny I've been gone way over a week now! I was supposed to be gone no more than four days! Sam already has to be freaking out over me disappearing! I can't be gone for another week! He could go into labor any day now!"  
"Well maybe you should have thought about that before you lied to your husband and left on a hunt. Dean you should know better than anyone else that hunts almost always go sideways." Dean sighed.  
"I know, I know. I was stupid. I just needed one more hunt, just to get it out of my system before the baby came."   
"You could have told Sam that. I'm sure he would have understood. Marriage has no room for lies and secrets Dean."   
"I know. Sam's gonna kill me."   
"I don't blame him brother." 

Sam got out of the cab, thanking the driving and handing over the money. Turning around he walked towards the building.  
Did he really want to do this? Was he sure?  
He shook his head, he deserved better. Taking a deep breath he opened the door and walked into the building.   
He made his way through the tables and crowds of people. He sighed gratefully when who he was looking for was actually here.   
Leaning forwards he took another deep breath before speaking.  
"Hey." The man turned around surprised. He broke out into a huge grin when he saw it was Sam.   
"Hey yourself gorgeous. You're back!" Sam smiled back.  
"Yea I am."   
"Well then what can I get you handsome?"  
"How about a date?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! Oh my chuck, I feel like I'm putting in way to much drama! But that's what makes it interesting!


	20. Fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and the bartender (Damien) go on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know what happened. My brain just thought stuff up and I went along with it.

Elizabeth squinted up at the bright lights above her in confusion. There was an annoying beeping noise to her left, closing her eyes again she tried to drown it out. The lights and the noise was making the throbbing in her head worse. She couldn't remember drinking enough to give her a headache and hangover this bad. Rolling over to escape the noise she felt a tugging on her hand. No not on her hand _under _her hand; like something was connected under her skin. That didn't make any sense, and when had she been drinking? Opening her eyes slowly she took in her surroundings. This wasn't a motel room. She was in a hospital. Looking at her hand she realized the tugging had been an IV. Hearing a gasp her looked up to see Marcus standing in the doorway. He quickly rushed to her side, cradling her head in his hands. Elizabeth let herself lean into the familiar touch. She looked into her husbands eyes and saw tears in them; yet he was practically grinning ear to ear. Placing a hand on his cheek she began to speak.__  
"Marc... wha-what's wrong? Did something...?" Instead of answering Marcus gently took her hand from his cheek, and placed a kiss to her palm and held it in his own. He looked down at it, rubbing circles soothingly onto her hand. Elizabeth spoke again.  
"Marc. What's wrong? Please; you're freaking me out." Marcus shook his head before looking up at her again.  
"You're awake." Elizabeth looked at him confused.  
"Yes, of course I am. How long have I been out?"  
"Over a week." Elizabeth gasped. She had only been injured badly enough before to be out for a day at most before. Almost an entire week though?  
"Marcus, what happened? Tell me what happened!"  
"The witch, she got you. I don't know what she did but...she touched you and suddenly you were screaming in pain. Like you were just in agonizing pain. Then when she stopped," Marcus took a breath, holding it for a moment before exhaling, "you wouldn't wake up. I brought you here.. the doctors said you might never wake up again. You might be in a coma for the rest of your life." Elizabeth leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Marcus's lips.  
"I'm awake now. It's all OK now." Marcus nodded.  
"I know. I know. I was just scared, after the first two days and you hadn't shown any signs of, you know, waking up; or even still being here... I just got scared that I had actually lost you Lizzy."  
"You didn't. I'm still here." Elizabeth pulled her husband into a hug. She pulled away after a few moments.  
"So what happened after the witch, you know, got me." Marcus took another deep breath to collect himself.  
"Well, basically right after I got to you and she was doing a spell but Dean got to her first and shot her. She's dead. I made sure of it." Elizabeth gasped, her eyes going wide.  
"Oh my God! Where's Dean?! What happened to him?!"  
"He got sent to Purgatory. Don't worry, he wasn't hurt."  
"So?! Have you heard from him at all!? What if something happened?!"  
"Sweetie, calm down. Calm down. Dean was pretty sure of himself going back there."  
"He said he would be down there for a few days tops! If he's been down there for over a week something must have gone wrong! Oh my God what if he's dead too!"  
"Liz, he never said he would call once he got out."  
"It was implied! I mean that's just a matter of having manners!"  
"Liz. We're talking about Dean _Winchester _. The man probably has more hunting ability in his finger than you and I do combined, OK? I'm sure he's fine. He probably was just in a hurry to get back home. He does had a husband and they have a baby on the way after all. He is probably just focused on them." Elizabeth nodded, leaning back against the pillows on the hospital bed.__  
"OK, but we will check in within the week on him OK? You better call him Marcus!" He chuckled, leaning forward to press a kiss to her temple.  
"OK, I promise." Elizabeth smiled, taking Marcus's hand again and started playing with his finger absentmindedly. After a few minutes in silence she spoke.  
"Do you ever think about having one of our own?" Marcus looked at her confused.  
"One of our own what?"  
"A baby. Our own baby. A family." Marcus sighed.  
"Lizzy you know we can't...." She interrupted him.  
"We can adopt! He or she would still be ours!"  
"Sweetie. No. We can't. We're hunters. We gave that up." Liz looked down for a moment.  
"Sam and Dean got out. They're having a family."  
"Exactly. The two greatest hunters pretty much ever are done. That means the rest of us have to pick up the slack silly." Elizabeth giggled at that, looking down again.  
"It would still be nice; maybe someday." Marcus sighed.  
"If we are still alive by the time we are too old to hunt; if we settle down, maybe like what's his name, like Bobby Singer did for awhile. If we have a home like that. Maybe."  
"Maybe?" Elizabeth grinned.  
"Yes. I'll give you maybe. Now will you please eat something." 

______ "So, tell me," Damien asked as he pulled Sam's seat out for him. "What changed?" Sam debated how to answer the question for a moment as Damien sat down himself.  
"I decided that I wanted something better. That I deserved better. Both of us did." Sam answered, rubbing his middle. Damien nodded. He leaned forward and took Sam's hand.  
"I agree completely. Like I said before; if I had a guy like you; if I was lucky enough to have a guy like you to be having my child; I would never even think of risking something like what he did and loosing you. That's not just because you are hot, which is definitely a plus, but you also seem like an amazing guy Sam." Sam blushed at the words. Squeezing Damien's hand slightly Sam spoke.  
"You seem like an amazing guy too." Sam meant that too. While he had waited for Damien to finished up his shift to go out on this date they had started talking and getting to know each other. Sam had quickly been able to figure out that Damien wasn't a guy that was looking for an easy lay. He was smart, and kind, and funny. He was an amazing listener, probably from being a bartender, and he really seemed to care about what Sam was saying. He also didn't seem to mind the fact that Sam was heavily pregnant with another man's child.  
"So, Sam, what do you think you're going to get. Dinner is on me of course."  
"I don't know, I've never actually been here before. I don't know what's good."  
"Well then I suggest the lamb. I've had it before and it's amazing."  
"That does look good. I'll have that." Damien grinned, flagging down the waitress.  
"We will both have the lamb." Damien winked at Sam. "Also another basket of bread sticks please." Damien handed the menus to the waitress after she wrote their order down. Sam couldn't help but blush again when Damien winked at he was ordering. He didn't know why, but it actually kind of turned him on when Damien ordered for him. Just how he took control in a way that wasn't at all over powering. It was just sexy. Sam shook his head to himself; it was probably just pregnancy hormones. Which reminded him.  
"Damien, can I ask you something?"  
"Of course, shoot."  
"You don't have a problem with the fact that I'm... pregnant. With another man's kid. Also that I'm married."  
"Well, for starters he cheated on you, and you said you and the baby deserve better so from what I can tell you're looking into ending the relationship." Sam nodded.  
"Yea, I think so.  
"So you're basically available." Damien took both Sam's hands again.  
"I also have another reason. It's not really a first date thing, but I think you should hear it. My real father walked out on my mom when she was still pregnant with me. She met my stepdad when she was six months pregnant with me. Now she was young, just turned twenty. Everywhere she went she was judged, no one wanted her, they just wanted sex. But she met my stepdad, and he didn't care how old she was, that she was unmarried. That she was pregnant with someone else's kid. He still gave it a go, fell in love, and he was the one in the delivery room with my mom when she gave birth to me. No one else was there. Her friends had abandoned her, her family, the man who had put her in the situation was already off in another city and had knocked up another woman there. He was the only one. He chose to see her not for her mistakes and choices, but for who she was as a person. The amazing person that she was. Because of that he found the love of his life, and my mom found hers." Damien took a breath, and Sam squeezed his hands comfortingly; urging him to continue.  
"That man was the one who cut my cord, the second person to ever hold me. He raised me as his own. They had two of their own kids after they got married but there wasn't a second he ever made me feel like I wasn't any less his kid then they were. I wouldn't have had a father if it wasn't for him. I wouldn't be where I am today, who I am today without him. They taught me to see someone for them, not for any of their supposed baggage they might have. Don't think that I just called the fact that you're going to have a kid baggage, because I'm not. Some people would run because of it, that's all, but I'm not because I know it's that baby isn't baggage. Sam if you do decide to be with me, know that you having that baby will never be a problem between us. I will completely love and raise him or her as my own. If you would let me." Damien finished, biting his lip slightly an looking for at Sam for a reaction. Sam took a breath, wiping away a few tears. Smiling and shaking his head he looked at Damien.  
"Thank you. Thank you for telling me that. You don't know how much that means to me.. I- thank you." Damien pressed a kiss to both of Sam's hands before letting them go.  
"It's just an option. I understand you are probably very overwhelmed; and that you're going to be getting out of a long time relationship. I'm more than happy to take it extremely slow. As slow as you need to."  
"Thank you for understanding." Sam smiled. Damien smiled back before clearing his throat.  
"So, tell me about you Sam. I want to know who Sam Winchester is." Sam chuckled.  
"Well..." 

Sam laughed a full body laugh as Damien walked him to his front door.  
"Man," Sam laughed, wiping tears from his eyes,  
"I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard." Damien chuckled at that.  
"I know, me too. Though I like making you laugh. You have one of the most amazing laughs I've ever heard. Also you have these adorable dimples..." He reached up and touched the corner of Sam's mouth where one of his dimples where. Sam couldn't help but smile. Damien smiled again.  
"There they are. I love those. I hope your baby has them." Sam blushed, for what felt like the thousandth time that night. Damien smiled again, his eyes softening.  
"That blush too. I love it. Love that I can make you blush like that." He whispered, cupping Sam's cheek gently, rubbing his thumb across Sam's cheek where the blood had rushed to the surface; making him blush harder. Damien looked at him, licking his lips. Sam mirrored the action without thinking; drawing Damien's eyes to his lips. Damien took a step closer, leaning down so their faces were only a couple inches from each others. Sam hadn't even realized until that moment that Damien was actually _taller _than him. Sam glanced quickly at Damien's own lips before meeting his eyes again. Damien leaned in then, slowly. Sam let took a breath, holding it. Letting his eyes close he stood still. Letting the breath go Sam opened his eyes and quickly turned his head to the side; making Damien instead press a kiss to his cheek instead. Damien pulled back then, and Sam met his gaze for a moment.__  
"Uh, I-sorry." Sam shook his head at the apology.  
"No, no. I'm sorry. I uh...." Sam bit his lip trying to think of an excuse.  
"Sam, just tell me. There's something here right?" Sam took a deep breath, letting it out slowly he nodded.  
"Yea, yea Damien there is. I just, it's new to me." Damien nodded.  
"Of course, like I said, your speed."  
"Thank you." Damien took a step back, straightening back up.  
"Well then, I'll call you soon for another date. I had an amazing time tonight Sam." Sam grinned.  
"I did too." Damien chuckled again, giving Sam an adorable half smile."  
"Goodnight Sam." Damien turned and started walking away. Sam stood there watching him for a moment before following after him.  
"Damien, wait." Damien stopped and turned around. Before he could say anything Sam grabbed his shirt and pulled him down and quickly pressed his lips to Damien's for a moment before stepping back and letting him go. Damien stood there for a moment, dazed with a, Sam could only describe it as dorky, grin on his face. It was utterly adorable. Damien shook his head and let out a breath.  
"What was that for?" He asked. Sam smiled, shrugging.  
"I figured I owed you a thank you for tonight." Damien's grin widened even more.  
"Well I think that will more than work." Damien said. Sam smiled softly at him.  
"Goodnight Damien."  
"Night Sam." Damien half waved before walking to his car. He grinned at Sam again before getting into his car and driving away. Sam walked back to his house, stepping inside he shut the door behind him and leaned against it; letting his head fall into his hands.  
He had felt fireworks with Damien.  
But not even nearly as many as what he got every time he kissed Dean.

 


	21. Three days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY CHUCK. I'm SO sorry for how long this took to update. School is back in swing and I just didn't have time/motivation with everything starting to write.

Liz grabbed her phone the moment Marcus left the room. She had been awake for almost three days, and she was feeling fine. She knew Marcus was probably putting this off because he wanted her to focus on healing and didn't want to even possibly risk any stress to her, but she needed to do this. The doctors had even said she could leave within the next three days if she kept improving like she was. She could understand why Marcus was worried about her, if the situation were reversed she would be the same way with her husband. They hadn't been the only ones on the hunt though, and they hadn't heard from Dean yet. She was starting to get worried about him. Liz only had a few minutes before Marcus would be back from the hospital's cafeteria, so she had to be quick. Dialing Dean's number she listened to the rings, praying he would pick up; the phone went to voicemail though. Cursing she dialed the home phone number Dean had given them just in case. That number also went to voicemail though, and she was met with what she could only assume was Sam's cheerful voice saying to leave a message. Liz panicked for a moment; Dean might not have told Sam about the hunt yet if he was home, or he might not even _be _home yet. Either way she probably shouldn't mention the hunt. Hearing the beep she started speaking.  
"Hello Dean, it's Liz. I just thought I would say hi, and check in, see if you were back yet. I'm so glad you were able to come this weekend, had a great time. I'd like to talk with you soon also so give me a call, yea? Call me back when you can. Thanks darling." Hanging up she put the phone back, and just in time too. Marcus walked through the doorway right after she got settled back into the hospital bed. He had coffee in one hand and a sandwich in the other. He walked in and set the food on the table and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. Liz couldn't help but smile at her husband, eight years married and she still felt like she was falling in love with him over and over every time she saw him.   
"Hey." She said, grinning. He smiled back.  
"Hey yourself."   
"Looks like you found something to eat. I know you hate hospital food but I'll be out of here soon."   
"I know. Thankfully I don't have to eat it that often though." Marcus paused for a moment, looking like he was debating something with himself. Turning to fully face Liz he finally spoke,  
"so I was thinking, when you get out, we go on a little short vacation. Give you a little more time to heal and a little time with just each other. I think we have more and earned a vacation." Liz smiled up and Marcus, they never got vacations. The job was always more demanding. As much as she loved being a hunter and her life with Marcus as on; a break would be nice every now and then.   
"That sounds great. I'd love that." Marcus's grin widened.   
"I knew you would, I'll book us a hotel room. I was thinking Florida?"   
"That sounds perfect." Liz said, pulling Marcus in for a hug.   
She really hoped Dean called her back, and that he was OK.__

__

__Sam stepped through the door, Bear bolting into the house around him. Walking into the living room Sam was surprised when he saw he had two new messages voicemails.  
"Maybe one's from Dean." He mumbled leaning down to hit the play button for the first message to start playing. Sam grinned to himself when Damien's voice started coming through the speakers.   
"Hey Sam, it's Damien. I had a great time the other night on our date and would love for us to have another sometime soon. I'm free tonight if your up to it. Alright, call me back. Bye." Sam's grin widened even more listening to the message. Damien wanted to go on another date with him! He paused for a moment. Was it right? He hadn't confronted Dean about the cheating. Hadn't even told him he wanted a divorce; yet he was already going on dates with another man... and.... Sam froze when he realized what he had just thought. He wanted a divorce. He hadn't actually said it to himself yet that he did. Sam realized though that yes, he did was a divorce from Dean. Those were words he honestly never thought he would be saying but it was true. He wouldn't be married to a cheater.   
Maybe he should try to work through it though.... Did he really want his son to be born into a already broken family? Damien was amazing, and Sam could already see himself having a life with him even after only one date. But Dean... Dean was Dean though. Dean was the father of his child. His brother, his soulmate. Dean had been there pretty much his entire life. Dean practically was his life. Still think Sam pressed play for the other message. An unfamiliar female voice came from the speakers though instead._ _

__Once the message was over Sam felt like someone had taken his heart, ripped it out of him, thrown it around, stepped on it, torn it to shreds, then tried to give it back to him. He sunk down onto the couch. It was worse than anything Lucifer could do to him in his dreams; because this, this was real. This was truth of exactly was he had feared.  
Dean had cheated on him; and Dean had given the woman he had cheated on Sam with their home number. The number they had because of their life together now. For the home they had started their new life in, created their _son _in. Sam quickly came to a decision.  
Dean was cheater, and a liar. Dean was his brother and honestly never should have been anything more than that. He wasn't meant to be tied down. God. Sam felt like the wool had been pulled back from his eyes. Had Dean done this before? Was their entire relationship filled with Dean sneaking behind Sam's back to be with women? How long had Dean been doing this?   
Sam stood up and dialed Damien's number to agree to the date. After all, Dean was going to be Sam's ex-husband soon.  
After all,  
Sam wanted a divorce. ___ _

____ _ _

____Dean felt like crying tears of joy stepping out into the familiar clearing before the rocking hill. He could see the portal. It's familiar blue had never been more welcoming. He had made it. He was going to get back to Sam and their son.  
Turning back to Benny Dean grinned.   
"You ready? Just like last time." Benny nodded, taking his own blade and cutting his arm open for the spell; he held it out to Dean. Dean did the same, grabbing onto Benny's arm.   
"You sure about this Brother?"  
"I am. Now hurry up Chief. I'm not getting any younger." Dean grinned.  
"Not getting any older either." Benny just rolled his eyes as Dean said the spell, joining Benny's soul with his body. Turning back to the portal Dean made his way up the rock, and stepped through the portal. He felt himself being pulled through seemingly nothing for a few moments before the flash of light and within moments he was hitting the ground, back on Earth. Standing up and looking around he was glad to see Purgatory had spit him out in the same place as last time. Now he had to just get Benny to his body, put him back in, get them to baby somehow; and then they would be back on the road and be back to Sam within three days.   
He would be home in only three days at last._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think is going to happen? Let me know it the comments what you think/ what you want to happen!


	22. To us

Rolling over with a groan, his phone going off waking him up, Sam squinted at his phone screen he saw it was a text from Damien. A text from Damien telling Sam he would be there to pick him up in an hour. Quickly sitting up Sam gasped. He'd slept later than he'd meant to.  
After the voicemails and Dean and just everything Sam had felt both extremely stressed and drained of all energy. To top it off his attempt at any sort of sleep wasn't to successful, Lucifer would be in his head the moment he even started to somewhat drift off to sleep. Getting up he went through his closet to find an outfit for his date with Damien. Of course it was nearly impossible, seeing as he was heavily pregnant, and nice clothes and pregnancy wasn't something that went together easily.  
After awhile though he managed to find an outfit he liked, putting it on he glanced over at the clock and was shocked to see he now had less than forty minutes to get ready. Finishing pulling on his outfit he headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and hair, and basically just make himself as presentable as possible; and not as tired looking. 

 

Damien checked his hair for what felt like the hundredth time, making sure it looked perfect before he got out of his car. Nodding to himself he stepped out and walked towards the front porch and up the steps he took a final deep breath before knocking on the front door. Within moments it was opened, Sam appearing in the doorway smiling at him. He couldn't help but stare in awe for a moment. Sam looked amazing. Handsome as ever, and he had that natural pregnancy glow to him, that honestly, Damien had thought was a piece of crap lie people said to pregnant people to make them feel better about themselves. It clearly wasn't though, because Sam was radiating. He looked perfect. Shaking himself from his thoughts he greeted Sam.  
"Hey." Sam's grin widened.  
"Hey yourself."  
"You..you look amazing." Damien mentally awarded himself when he saw Sam blush at the compliment. He honestly looked so cute when he as blushing.  
"Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself." Sam commented. Damien couldn't help but chuckle at that.  
"So where are we going tonight?" Sam asked as they walked back towards Damien's car.  
"Well actually, I thought we could go to my place. I want to cook for you." Damien said, opening the passenger door for Sam. Sam grinned at him, getting into the car.  
"That sounds wonderful."  
"I'm glad." Damien replied, closing the car door and going around to get in on his side.  
Starting the car they drove off towards his house. 

 

Sam sat at the counter, watching Damien cook. When they got to his house he had given Sam a quick tour before re-directing them both back towards the kitchen. Apparently they were having an Italian dish that Damien's mother had taught him. It smelt and looked delicious, and Sam was getting anxious to eat. It didn't surprise him of course, being pregnant made him hungry practically constantly. He was pulled from his thoughts when his phone started ringing suddenly. Pulling it out he was greeted with an unknown number. Damien turned around to look at him questioningly. Hitting decline Sam put his phone away.  
"No, I didn't recognize the number." Nodding Damien turned back to continue his cooking. 

 

Dean cursed when Sam didn't answer his cell phone. He had tried both his cell phone and their home phone now but Sam hadn't picked up either. He had been gone way longer than he had told Sam he was going to be, and even worse he had pretty much just stopped talking to him for days, Sam had no idea what could have happened. He was probably freaking out. Adding more change to the machine Dean dialed Cas's number. Within a few rings Cas answered.  
"Hello?" Dean let out a sigh of relief at hearing the familiar voice.  
"Cas, man. It's me."  
"Dean? Why are you calling me from a strange number?"  
"I'm using a pay phone, my phones dead at the moment and I really needed to talk to Sam. He isn't answering the calls though. Can you try calling him for me?"  
"Why aren't you with Sam?"  
"Listen man, I don't have enough time to tell you right now. When I get back I'll tell you but can you please call Sam and tell him I'll be home soon and make sure he's OK?"  
"Alright. I would like to know what's going on soon though."  
"You will man, I swear, I just have to go now."  
"Goodbye Dean."  
"Bye Cas." Hanging up Dean stepped out of the phone booth and headed back towards the Impala where Benny was waiting. They were only over a days drive from home now. They'd managed to get to the Impala quickly and get on the road, but Dean had been annoyed to see his phone had died while he was gone. Getting into the Impala Benny followed suit getting in on the passenger side. It wasn't long now that he'd be home to Sam. 

 

Sam frowned, pulling out his phone again. He was surprised to see it was Cas calling him this time. Damien turned around again.  
"Need to answer that one? Or another wrong number?" Sam debated it for a moment, still looking at his phone. He decided to decline the call. It could wait and he didn't want to be bombarded with questions from Cas at the moment over where he was and why he wasn't with Dean. Turning his phone off and putting it away he smiled at Damien.  
"Nope. This is more important." Damien grinned at him in return.  
"Well I'm happy to hear that. I'm also happy to announce dinner is done." 

Sam laughed at the story Damien was telling. Suddenly though he heard an all to familiar laugh coming from beside him. Looking over though he saw no one. Shaking his head, he turned back to Damien and could barley suppress a gasp when he saw Lucifer leaning casually against the counter behind Damien. Snapping his eyes away Sam tried to focus on Damien but the Devil was doing everything he could to distract Sam. He couldn't help but stare when Lucifer suddenly just sliced Damien's throat, Damien continuing on talking, none the wiser to Sam's sudden hallucinating. Damien paused for a moment then reached over and placed his hand over Sam's. Sam jumped slightly at the contact, focusing again on Damien.  
"Hey, are you OK? You seem a little distracted." Sam shook his head, ignoring Lucifer.  
"No, no I'm fine. I actually have something really important to tell you. I've decided to uh, to get a divorce from Dean." Damien stared at Sam for a moment in surprise.  
"Really?"  
"Really." Sam answered, nodding.  
"Wow. That's really big. I'm proud of you though! You deserve someone so much better than him Sam." Sam nodded again, biting his lip debating what he was about to say before speaking.  
"I was kind of hoping that that someone could be you." Damien stared at him again.  
"R-really?"  
"Yea, Damien you're amazing and I can see myself having a life with you. I can see you in my son's life." Damien leaned forward and took Sam's hands in his.  
"Sam nothing would make me happier." He whispered. He couldn't believe Sam actually wanted to be with him. Sam smiled at Damien for a moment, before his attention was directed just behind Damien. Lucifer was chuckling.  
"Yea sure, wait a couple months. He'll figure out how you really are. How pathetic you are. Then he'll be high tailing it out of there even quicker than Dean. Like anyone could ever want or love you." Sam closed his eyes for a moment. Opening them he took a sharp breath when Lucifer was only a few inches from his face.  
"In fact, I doubt your own son will be able to love you. He'll leave you as soon as he can just like everyone else." Ignoring Lucifer Sam tried his best to smile at Damien. He grinned back and stood up and got two glasses.  
"I think to celebrate... just all this. We should have a drink."  
"Oh I can't have alcohol though..."  
"I know." Damien poured the drink into the glasses.  
"It's sparkling cider. Nonalcoholic." Damien said. Sam smiled, taking the offered glass from Damien.  
"Shall we move to the living room?" Sam asked.  
"I think we shall." Damien replied, offering his hand to Sam. Taking it Sam stood up and they walked towards the living room, Sam sitting down on the couch. Damien sat next to him and held his glass up.  
"To us." Sam grinned and clinked his glass against Damien's.  
"To us." He whispered, taking a sip.  
"Oh yes. To all of us!" Lucifer laughed, holding up an imaginary glass in toast.  
"Because believe you me roomy. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a rough plan of what to do with this story; but I honestly kind of have no clue what I'm doing with this lol I'm just going with the flow; because obviously I apparently love drama


	23. Insecurities

Sam closed the door behind him, stepping into his room. He jumped a little when Lucifer suddenly appeared on bed, sitting back causally on it. Ignoring him Sam walked by him into the bathroom to change his clothes. Lucifer just got up though, following behind him. Sam did his best to ignore him as Lucifer poked fun at him and his body.  
"Look at you! Like a whale! Who would have imagined, Sam Winchester Mr.Chiseled Body would look like this. Man I can see even more reasons why Dean left you now. I wouldn't want to stare at that; wouldn't want to look at what's gonna be left after the pregnancy either." Lucifer grinned, moving forward and leaning in close to Sam's face.  
"I bet Damien isn't going to wanna look at it either. Face it Sam; no one is ever going to want you. Ever going to love you. I'd just give up now if I were you." Sam shook his head, trying his best to ignore the Devil's words. Dean had left though, had left him and ran into the arms of an apparently beautiful young woman. Looking back on Dean's past conquests Sam knew it was true, Dean would hit on insanely beautiful women. Women who had amazing bodies. Hell, Dean had always praised Sam on his. Had loved to feel his muscles, his abs. Obviously Sam was the opposite of what Dean wanted, and he knew even after the pregnancy his body wasn't going to just bounce back to what it had been before. Hell, it probably wasn't ever going to be what it had been before.  
Lucifer watched Sam with a grin, watched his words sink in and twist themselves in Sam's mind, create insecurities upon insecurities. Sam tried his best to shake himself from the thoughts. Not all men were that shallow. Damien wasn't that shallow. Hell, he'd hit on Sam when he was heavily pregnant and was still going strong. He didn't know what Sam had looked liked before his pregnancy. That had to count for something, right?  
Clinging onto that hope, Sam walked out of the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. Pulling out his phone he decided he should probably call Cas back and see what he had wanted earlier. Dialing his number Sam waited for him to pick up, after a few rings Sam was greeted with the familiar voice.  
"Sam?"  
"Cas hey, yea, I just wanted to call and ask you what you wanted earlier. I was kind of busy and couldn't answer you earlier."  
"Dean called me and said you hadn't answered you phone when you called him, he wanted me to call you and see if you were OK." Sam was surprised for a moment, Dean was checking in on him? He was also confused, when had Dean called him?"  
"Cas, I never got a call from Dean."  
"He said his phone was dead, he was calling from a payphone." That made sense of who the unknown number that had called him earlier was. Guilt twisted itself in Sam's stomach. His husband had been calling him to check in on him when he was on a date with another man, and Dean had no idea about it. Sam knew it wasn't entirely right to be seeing another man while he was still married to Dean, even if he was planning on getting a divorce. Dean didn't even know Sam wanted a divorce yet.  
"Sam? You still there?"  
"Yea Cas, I'm still here. Tell Dean I'm fine."  
"I will, also he wanted me to tell you he was going to be home soon."  
"Great. Tell him he and I have to talk. Bye."  
"Goodbye Sam." With that Sam hung up and took a deep breath. Dean was going to be back soon. Sam wasn't sure he was ready to see him yet. 

Dean sighed in relief as soon as his phone came back on. He and Benny had stopped in a diner to get some food for Dean before they hit the road again. They had chosen a table near an outlet so that Dean could charge his phone. Dean looked at his missed messages and took a deep breath when he saw he had over thirty missed messages and calls from Sam, and a few voice mails from him. He also had a missed call and message from his boss. Deciding to deal with that first Dean listened to the message his boss had left him. Once it finished Dean cursed under his breath. Sam had called his boss. Sam knew Dean hadn't been on a business trip now. His boss was also confused over why he had told his husband he was on a business trip when he wasn't, and wanted to talk to him as he got back to work. Next Dean read through the missed texts from Sam, they started out with Sam asking him how he was, then why he wasn't answering, to Sam begging him to answer him, telling Dean to call him. By the end it was clear Sam was frantic and Dean felt extremely guilty over the stress he knew he was causing Sam. It wasn't good for him, especially with the baby. Looking at the very last text Dean had from Sam he frowned, confused. It was short, and gave no indication over what Sam meant. It was sent yesterday.  
**We need to talk. ******What did that mean? His phone buzzed then suddenly in his hand, a text from Cas.  
**Dean, I don't know if your phone is alive again but I talked to Sam and he is fine. He also told me to tell you that he and you have to talk. ******  
Dean sent a quick text back thanking him. What did Sam need to talk to him about? Suddenly a cold realization hit him. Did Sam know he'd gone hunting? He had a missed call from Liz. He had noticed it when he was first going through his messages. Had she called home and talked to Sam? Cursing again he sent a quick text to her letting her know he was OK, and that he was almost home. She had made him promise he would let her know as soon as he could. Liz glanced down at her phone when it buzzed. She let out a sigh of relief when she read it. Dean was OK. Marcus looked at her in confusion, raising an eyebrow in question before he turned his focus back to the road. "It was a text from Dean. He's OK."  
"That's good. Now can you please completely focus on us, and you getting better?"  
"I suppose I can." She giggled, taking Marcus's hand. Marcus raised it to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.  
"Great because tomorrow I though we would spend a nice relaxing day at the beach." Liz hummed in agreement at that. Sam decided to send a quick text before going to bed. **Hey, you wanna come over tomorrow? I'll cook for you this time. ******  
Sending the message Sam was surprised when he got a reply quickly from Damien.  
**I'll be there, what time? ******  
Sam thought for a moment before sending a reply.  
**I was think maybe around ten thirtyish. We can spend the whole day together then. ******Sam sent the message and within a few moments he got a reply again.  
**Sounds great, I'll see you then. Sleep well gorgeous. **  
**You too handsome. **********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long and isn't that good! I have horrible writers block at the moment for this story and I honestly just want to warp this up and move on with this series with more short one shots! I have ideas for those, don't worry!  
> I hope you enjoyed!


	24. Frozen in Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever to write and get out I'm so sorry but I finally did it! We are getting to the end of this story, I honestly can't wait!  
> I hope you enjoy!

Damien knocked on the front door, and smiled to himself when he heard barking coming from inside the house. Moments later Sam opened the door, grinning at him.  
"Damien! Right on time I have brunch almost done!" Sam said, moving aside to let Damien in. Damien chuckled, walking into the house.  
"Well something smells good, can't wait to eat." Sam just grinned wider at that, leading him into the kitchen.  
"We can eat then I can give you the grand tour." Sam said.  
"It should just be a few more minutes yet."

Handing a plate to Damien, Sam gestured to the dishes of food he had cooked.  
"Help yourself, I made scrambled eggs, hash browns, pancakes, and bacon. There's fruit also." Damien took the plate, looking over the food.  
"It all looks amazing Sam. Though you didn't have to make so much." Sam just waved him off.  
"Don't worry about it, trust me I'm sure we can eat it all. After all I'm eating for two." Sam joked, rubbing his swollen middle.  
"I don't doubt it, I just meant you didn't have to go through the trouble; and I'm sure we can eat this all. Believe me, I can eat." Damien said, winking at Sam.  
Sam laughed.  
"Oh I believe it! You're even bigger than me!" They both started laughing, Bear noticing the commotion started barking, circling around them trying to get attention. This only made them both laugh more, Sam bending down slightly to pet him.  
After their laughter had died down a bit Damien cleared his throat.  
"Well, I think we should eat before it gets cold. See if we really CAN eat all this food!" With that they both started filling their plates with food.

Pushing his empty plate away Damien sighed, patting his stomach.  
"Now that was the best brunch I've ever had. Delicious. Absolutely delicious." Sam grinned at the praise.  
"I actually can't believe we managed to eat it all. I'm full."  
"So am I." Sam smiled and started to get up from his chair to do the dishes. Damien put his hand on his bicep, stopping him.  
"Let me. You cooked, I can do the dishes."  
"But you did the dishes at your place!" Sam argued.  
"Yea well, then... you're pregnant and I wanna be a good boyfriend." Damien said getting up. Him and Sam both froze though when they realized what he'd said.  
"Boy-boyfriend?" Sam sputtered out. He hadn't thought of himself with a boyfriend for years. After awhile Dean had morphed from boyfriend into partner in his mind, and then he proposed and became his fiance, then his husband.  
Damien just cleared his throat awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.  
"Yea, well I mean... you'd said that you wanted to.. I just thought...." Damien shook his head.  
"Forget I said it, I'm sorry I shouldn't have assumed." Sam reached out then, grabbing his wrist.  
"Damien, no. I didn't mean it like that, I was just surprised. I hadn't thought of it like that yet I guess, that's all. You're right though, that is where this is going. I just haven't really thought of myself with a boyfriend for years that's all. I've just been with Dean for so long it morphed into us being partners years ago then we got married. That's all."  
Damien grinned at Sam, then his smiled faltered for a moment. Sighing he turned away, heading to the sink with the dishes. Sam's brow furrowed at that.  
"Damien, what's wrong? Did I say something...?" Damien turned around quickly then.  
"No, no! You didn't do anything. Well I mean...."  
"What, what is it?"  
"I guess I just do forget you're still married. I never wanted to be the guy to get in the middle of a marriage."  
"Damien no. Don't do that to yourself. Dean did it. He cheated. You just made me realize I need to get away from it." Damien smiled at that, wrapping his arms around Sam and pulling him into a hug.  
I've also never even met the guy it's kinda surreal to think of you as married. I guess, for me that's kinda for the better. I can just look at you and imagine... no never mind." Damien turned away from Sam again then at that, focusing his attention on the dishes.  
"Imagine what?" Sam pressed, looking earnestly at him.  
"Forget I said anything, it's stupid."  
"I doubt that. Imagine what? Come on you can tell me." Sam pleaded, giving his best puppy dog eyes to Damien. Damien looked at his and cursed under his breath.  
"Dammit, I hope the kid doesn't get those puppy eyes of yours. I won't be able to resist either of you."  
"Don't try and change the subject."  
"Alright, alright. I've never seen your husband, I've never seen you with someone else. I guess I can just imagine you with me better then. I can imagine you.. that you and the baby are both mine. Just makes it easier. It's stupid I know, I haven't even known you that long and I'm imagining the kid you have with another man is mine."  
"No. No it isn't." Sam put his hands on Damien's face, making him look at him. Once he was sure he wasn't going to look away, Sam dropped his hands down to take Damien's.  
"It's really sweet, and romantic. I know we are moving really quickly. I also know I'm doing it partly because I'm scared of having to do this alone. You're a great guy. I don't think this will be a mistake, rushed or not. As for this baby..." Sam took Damien's hands and pressed them to his middle. "If we are really doing this, this _is _going to be your baby. Blood or not." Damien smiled softly down at Sam before dropping his gaze down to Sam's swollen middle; caressing it gently. Sighing he pulled Sam into a hug then.__  
"Thank you." He whispered.  
"No. Thank you." Sam said. Smirking to himself, Sam stretched to whisper in his ear.  
"Besides, we might just have a baby together someday." Damien pulled back then, grinning at Sam.  
"Yea? You would want that with me? You would consider that with me?" Sam nodded.  
"Well I'm already leaving my husband for you; and you're agreeing to basically go out with a guy pregnant with another guy's kid. How much more commitment can I ask for?" Sam chuckled. "Yes. I would love that with you Damien." 

Dean gave a sigh of relief when he passed a sign announcing Lebanon was only thirty miles away. Less than an hour and he would be home.  
"Benny. I think I'm gonna give you some cash for a motel room for a few nights and drop you off at one in town. If that's OK with you?" Dean asked, glancing over at his friend.  
"More than alright brother. I reckon you and Sam are going to need a little alone time to talk. Also you're gonna need a place to come to when he kicks your sorry ass out in anger over you telling him you were hunting."  
"You really think he will be that mad?" Dean asked.  
"I'm sure he will be furious at you, and an angry Sam Winchester mixed with pregnancy hormones probably will kick your ass out for a night or two." Dean cursed. Benny was right, Sam was over emotional thanks to hormones and had mood swings left and right. This was definitely going to be a bad fight.

"Last, but not least this is the living room." Sam announced, letting go of Damien's hand to hold his arm's out dramatically, offering up the room for Damien's approval. Damien let out a low whistle.  
"You have an amazing house." He commented. Sam smiled.  
"Well thank you, found it and decorated it myself.  
"Well," Damien walked forward, wrapping his arms around Sam.  
"You did a very good job." He said, leaning down to capture Sam's lips in his own. 

Dean sighed in relief as he pulled into the driveway. He had dropped Benny off at a motel with some cash and then had rushed home. Home. He was finally home. He would be seeing his Sammy in just moments.  
Sam moaned, leaning into the kiss. Damien smiled and moved Sam over to the couch, sitting them both down carefully and pulling Sam closer into his side. Continuing to kiss him Damien buried his hands in Sam's long locks, tugging at them slightly. That only made Sam moan louder, and Damien grinned, deciding he liked that noise very much and wanted to hear more of it. 

Dean unlocked the door, walking in and closing it behind him quietly in case Sam was sleeping. He didn't want to wake him up. Sam was already going to be mad at him, he didn't need to make him even more angry with him. He grinned when Bear came bounding around the corner, clearly happy to see him. Dean knelt down to greet the dog. Suddenly he heard a... moan? It sounded like it had come from the living room. Standing up Dean walked down the short hall and turned around the corner into the living room to see what the noise was.  
Dean froze. Everything froze.  
He felt his heart stop, watched as everything shattered around him.

Sam was on the couch. Sam was on the couch with another man. Sam was on the couch practically fucking another man through his clothes.   
"AND WHAT IN THE _HELL _IS GOING ON HERE?!" Dean shouted.__   
Sam gasped, pushing Damien away who also quickly turned around to see who else was in the room with them. Sam felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over his head, like the icy water had been injected straight into his veins. Everything stopped for a second before he managed to take in a breath and speak.  
"Dean.." Before he could say anything else though Dean turned on his heel walking towards the door. Dean stared in shock as Sam pushed the bastard away, gasping out his name. Dean didn't care to hear his explanations. He just had to get out before he did something he would regret. Turning around he stormed out of the house, ignoring Sam screaming his name after him, begging him to wait.  
Dean was livid, he saw red. He couldn't remember a time when he had been this angry. Getting into the impala Dean sped away, just managing to get a glimpse of Sam standing in the doorway of the house.  
Dean just looked away and sped off down the street. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. OK so THAT happened!  
> I actually wrote this chapter while listening to Misty Mountain Cold from _The Hobbit _on repeat for about 55 minutes before switching over to another hobbit soundtrack for the last 25 minutes of writing. (Yes it took me over an hour to write just this. Writer's block remember?) Anyways, you gotta love the music from those movies, and especially Richard Armitage's rendition of The Misty Mountain song.__
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> __  
> __  
> _Let me know what you thought!_  
>   
>   
> 


	25. Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER!  
> I'm just really busy, but I plan on writing more for this in the next two weeks or so over my (very short mind you) Christmas break.  
> Also I'm so sorry this is so short, but I figured any update is better than no update.

Dean stormed into Benny's motel room, slamming the door behind him. Benny looked up, surprised at the eldest Winchester's entrance.  
"Well, hello to you too." Benny said. Dean just gave a curt nod in greeting, instead going straight for the fridge and pulling a beer out. He downed the beer quickly, and pulled out a second one. Benny cocked an eyebrow at the action, before he smirked.  
"Well was I right? Sam kick you out for the night?" Benny asked, grinning. Dean stood silent, staring out the window. Benny could see his friend's rigid form, could practically see the anger rolling off him in waves. The smile slipped from Benny's face as he sat up straighter.  
"Dean? Something happen brother?" Dean took a drink from his already half empty beer before answering.  
"I walked in on Sam and another man." Dean answered, voice hard. Benny sat on the bed, stunned for a moment.  
"I'm sorry what? You walked in on _Sam _and another man?" Benny asked, not sure he heard him correctly.__  
"Yep. I walked in, and Sam was there on the couch with some guy making out. Practically fucking each other through their clothes." Dean said. Benny didn't know what to say to that. He'd never pictured Sam to cheat on Dean, ever, especially not when _He _was pregnant with their kid. Instead he suggested the only thing he could think would appease to Dean Winchester's interests.  
"I think you need a stronger drink brother." For the first time since walking in Dean looked at him, before nodding once and walking out the motel room door heading to the nearest bar. __

______Sam stood in the doorway, watching Dean speed off. What had he just started. Dean wasn't supposed to be home yet. He wasn't supposed to see this. Sam had planned to throw everything he'd found in Dean's face, order an explanation, and then demand a divorce. He hadn't wanted it to go down like this. Sam squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold off the tears. He tried to remind himself Dean was the one that had started this all, he had lied and run off and cheated on Sam. Sam felt a cold breeze on his face then, taking a shaky breath Sam opened his eyes to find the Devil's face inches from his. Lucifer surprisingly wasn't saying anything for once, just smirking at Sam and shaking his head in amusement. Backing away Sam felt himself run into a solid body behind him. Turning around he came face to face with Damien, who looked uncomfortable, yet was clearly concerned about Sam. "Damien... I-" Sam started but Damien held up a hand, silencing him.  
"So that was Dean? The guy who you're married to and having that baby with? The guy who's cheating on you?"  
"Yea... that was Dean."  
"He just saw us, in a rather.... compromising position."  
"Yea, he did." Sam said, closing his eyes again to fight off more tears. Sam felt gentle hands, to soft from simply pouring drinks and wiping down bars, not hard and calloused from years of holding a gun and digging graves, not like Dean's hands, on his face. Opening his eyes Sam looked into Damien's.  
"Sam is there anything I can do?" Damien asked, searching Sam's eyes for...anything. Sam just shook his head looking down.  
"I think you should go."  
"What?"  
"I think you need to leave Damien. I need to figure things out. I need to talk to Dean, alone. I need to get everything sorted out." Damien nodded at that, stepping around Sam and going towards the door.  
"Call me then. Let me know what happened, if you need anything. Let me know if I'm still in the picture or not." Sam nodded in agreement, and watched as Damien turned and walked to his car. Sam watched for a few more moments as Damien pulled out and drove away before shutting the door, finally letting the tears fall. He just squeezed his eyes shut as Lucifer appeared next to him to mock him.  
Sam just slid down the door to sit, wrapping himself up the best he could around his large middle, and cried. 

______Dean downed the shot of whiskey. Benny had lost count how many he'd had at this point, more than he should, that was for sure. Benny was surprised he hadn't been cut off yet by the bartender. "And-and after everything I've done for him! This is how he thanks me?! Goin to bed with another god damn man? After everything!?" Dean slurred.  
"I gave up everything for him, more than once. Growing up I did, I gave up hunting and settled down to have a normal apple pie life for him with a kid! I sold my fucking _soul _for him! I- I've supported him through everything. I've been there for everything. Not whoever the fucking hell that was back there. No-pe! You think he was there holding Sam's hair when he had morning sickness? Was he there when Sam wanted fucking pears and mint ice cream at three in the morning?! When he passed out in our bathroom!? No! I was there for that! All of it! Yet he-he turns around and, and fucking fucks someone else." Dean half yelled, drawing some attention from others around them. Benny put his hand on his friend's shoulder, trying to calm him down.__  
"Alright brother, I know, I know. It's bad. You have every right to be angry." Dean nodded, leaning forward unnecessarily far over the bar to get the bar tender's attention.  
"Another shot!" Dean demanded slapping his hand down onto the bar's wooden top. The bar tender walked over to Dean, shaking his head.  
"Sorry buddy, I'm cutting you off." The bartender replied before turning to Benny.  
You should take your friend home buddy." The bartender said before walking away to help another customer.  
"Alright brother. Time to get you to bed." Benny said, pulling Dean off his stool. Dean resisted though, still trying to talk to the bartender.  
"Why the fuck can't I have another drink? I'm alright. I'm goood. I can have another. I'm only a liiiitle drunk." Dean slurred, the bartender ignored him though as Benny pulled him out of the bar.  
Dean easily stumbled alongside Benny back to and into the motel room. Reaching the bed, Dean practically collapsed onto it, falling asleep almost instantly.  
Benny sat down on the bed opposite Dean's, sighing. Something wasn't right with what was going on. Sam wouldn't just cheat. Information was missing. As soon as Dean woke up and was able to function, Benny was dragging him to Sam come hell or high water, and they were going to talk and figure out what in the hell was going on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of doing a spin off of this where Sam leaves Dean for Damien, but it will have a twist and they won't stay together. Kind of an AU but I think Sam and Dean would still end up together in the end anyways.  
> Let me known if you would be interested in something like that, it would be short but angsty with lots of drama (of course).  
> Let me know what you think  
> Thanks again for reading! Love you all <3


	26. Understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short, but I wanted to get an update out to you guys for Christmas, or Hanukkah, or whatever you might celebrate for the Holidays; and if you don't celebrate anything, an early gift to bring in the New Year.

Benny walked into the motel room, shutting the door behind him a little too loudly. He earned a groan from the bed for it, Dean rolling over to glare at him, his head just peeking out from under the covers in an attempt to keep any sunlight from reaching his eyes.   
"What was that for?" Dean asked, annoyed at being woken up too early and now having to deal with his hangover. Benny simply rolled his eyes, dropping a paper bag next to Dean's head on the night stand and sitting down on the bed opposite Dean's.  
"What's that?" Dean asked, eyeing the bag.   
"Grease. Eat up, we have things to do, and we can't do them with you as hungover as you are." Benny said. Dean groaned, sitting up slowly in bed and squinting as the sunlight in the room hit him full force, making the intense banging in his head worse. Taking the bag and opening it up Dean found a Styrofoam takeout box, and opening it he was please to find a good helping of scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, and breakfast potatoes in it. Taking it out and opening up the provided plastic cutlery in the bag Dean started to eat the food. Benny got up and headed to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of orange juice and handed it to Dean. Dean nodded his thanks, and opened the bottle to take a drink from it. Benny sat down across from him again.  
"So what do you remember from last night?" Benny asked. Dean face twisted into a grimaced at the question.  
"Everything." Dean stated, his tone going hard.   
"You know you have to talk, while you're sober, with Sam. Something just doesn't add up about this brother. Sam wouldn't just cheat on you. There must be some information you're missing, something must have happened. Maybe Sam is seeing something you're not. He has to have reasoning behind this." Benny said, trying to reason with his friend to go and talk to Sam. Dean laughed humorously.   
"Or maybe he finally just realized how undeserving I am of him, that he can do so much better, even with a kid on the way, and took the chance he had away from me to do that." Dean said.  
"Hey now!" Benny said, pointing a finger at Dean.  
"Don't go into any of the Dean Winchester self degrading pity bull shit. You and I both know that's not true." Dean simply shrugged, continuing to eat slowly. Benny just sighed.   
"Just get some rest, get over the hang over. Then you I are going to see Sam, and you're going to talk to him and get this mess sorted out. Understand?" Benny said, crossing his arms over his chest. Dean sighed again.  
"Loud and clear." 

Sam woke up on the couch, and sat up slowly, wincing as his body protested having slept all night on it. It was a comfortable couch, but nothing was really going to do much for sleeping without waking up in pain while he was pregnant unless he slept in his bed.   
Getting up, he walked up stairs and headed to the bathroom. Sam stared at himself in the mirror. He looked like a mess, his hair was extremely messy, he had dark circles under his eyes, and dried tear tracks on his cheeks. He just looked worn out. He almost looked no better than he had right before he'd passed out in the bathroom what felt like forever ago, but reasonably Sam knew it had only been just over a month. Just a month for his entire life to fall apart. Sam turned the cold water on, and leaned down to splash some of it on his face. He then dried his face off with a towel and set to work working the tangles out of his hair and making it more presentable.   
Once he was done getting ready for the day Sam headed downstairs and called Bear, who eagerly came running around the corner from his bed in the living room, wagging his tail and yipping at Sam. Sam couldn't help but smile at the dog, hardly a puppy anymore even though he wasn't even a year old yet. He had grown so much since Dean had first given him to Sam at Christmas. He grabbed Bear's leash and hooked him up, heading out the door to walk down the street. 

Sam walked up the gate, opening it he lead Bear through, and as soon as he had the gate closed behind them he freed Bear to run around the lawn. Sam walked up the short pathway and up the stairs of the porch and knocked on the front door. After a few moments a kind face appeared in the doorway, one Sam had come to greatly both respect and love.   
"Samuel!" Mrs. Davis said, grinning from ear to ear. She opened the screen door, instantly taking Sam's hand and pulled him into the house.  
"I was wondering when you were finally going to come back and visit this old lady." Mrs. Davis said over her shoulder as she led Sam to her kitchen. Sam chuckled at the comment, taking a set at the small round table in the kitchen. Mrs. Davis brought over two glasses and a pitcher of her lemonade. Setting them both down on the table she took a seat across from Sam.   
"Now, what brings you over Samuel. I can tell you have greater business to come over here then simply visiting an old lady." She said. Sam sighed, before speaking.  
"I suppose I can't get anything by you. I did come over here for more than just to visit Nona."  
"Well then speak child, tell me." Mrs. Davis said, reaching across to place a hand comfortingly on Sam's. Sam chewed his lip, trying to think about what to say.  
"I did something I shouldn't have."   
"And pray tell what was that?"  
"Dean, Dean wasn't coming home or answering any of my calls or texts..." Sam continued to tell Mrs. Davis everything, up until Dean coming home and walking in on him on the couch with Damien. Mrs. Davis sat silently for a moment once he was finished telling her everything. Finally she spoke.  
"Well Samuel. There definitely could have been many more better ways to handle this. Just know there also could have been many, many other worse ways to handle it as well. What you did, while understandable why you did it, wasn't the best course of actions. You should have waited for Dean to come home, talk to him, and then get the divorce. I do think, because of what Dean has done, that you should get a divorce Sam. I agree with you on that, I just don't think you should have kissed, or even gone on a date with that other man before you told your husband what your intentions were with your marriage."  
"I know, I just...Damien is an amazing guy and I didn't want to risk turning him away by making him wait."  
"I understand dear, I understand you were going through a lot of emotions, and were confused and scared, and mad. You probably did what plenty of other people would have done. You weren't in the mindset to stop and think everything through like probably would have been needed. You're pregnant, and scared to take that on alone. It's OK dear, no one is going to hold you to your actions. Especially since you were planning on asking for a divorce right when Dean came home. You weren't planning on continuing the affair secretly just to get back at your husband over his. That's noble, there are people who would have done that simply out of spite. You had good intentions, you just didn't do the best at initiating them." Mrs. Davis said. Sam nodded, comforted at her words.   
"Thank you Nona. I needed to hear that. I should have just come to you right away, god all of this could have been avoided them." Sam said, shaking his head with a smile.  
"Yes you should have, and yes it could have. This old lady knows more than meets the eye, yes?" Sam chuckled.  
"You definitely do."   
"Wonderful. Now I have a large amount of lasagna leftovers in the fridge, why don't you get them and put them in the microwave for lunch while I go find that pooch of yours and give it a treat." Sam smiled, getting up and helping Mrs. Davis get up from her chair as well.  
"Sounds like a plan, he's out in your front yard."  
"Wonderful. Oh and thank you for the help getting up dear." Mrs. Davis said, patting Sam's arm. She headed for the front door, and Sam went to the fridge to get the leftovers out. They looked delicious, and Sam knew they would be. Mrs. Davis was an amazing cook.   
Sam got one plate in the microwave, and thought over everything while waiting for the food to warm up.  
Maybe this wouldn't go as horribly as he thought.  
Maybe he should bring Mrs. Davis along to be there with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed.  
> Thank you as always for reading
> 
> Happy Holidays, and a prosperous New Year!  
> Hopefully 2017 is better than 2016.


	27. What now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry, I'm back though, and tried to give y'all a longer chapter to make up for being gone.

Sam dried the dishes as Mrs. Davis handed them to him. They had finished eating and Sam had insisted on helping her clean up. Over their meal they had continued to talk, Mrs. Davis giving Sam advice for the conversation he knew he was going to have to have with Dean. Dean had stormed out though, clearly furious. Sam wasn't sure where he could have possibly gone (and a part of him didn't want to think about it he _had _met that girl here in town after all) and he wasn't sure he had the courage to pick up the phone and try and call Dean, and even if he did manage to get himself to, would Dean even answer? Sam continued thinking over everything, his anxiety growing by the minute, as he helped Mrs. Davis put the dishes away. She walked him to the front door when he was ready to leave, and watched him as he leashed Bear up. Mrs. Davis held out her arms to him, offering a hug. Sam happily accepted it, even though he had to lean down quite a bit to embrace her. She held him for a few moments, and Sam took comfort in each and every one of them. When they finally pulled apart she took Sam's hands in her own, giving them a soft squeeze. Sam smiled down at her, before turning to leave. He was down the front steps before Mrs. Davis spoke.__  
"Samuel. You can't make love be where it does not exist, and you cannot deny it where it does." Sam gave her a confused look, unsure what she meant saying that now. Walking back up the stairs, Sam stood before her, confusion clearly across his face.  
"Nona?"  
"Follow you're heart my dear, it can lead you better at times than your brain can. Sometimes what your brain knows isn't right, but what your heart knows is." Sam shook his head, still confused.  
"Nona, I'm sorry I don't understand. Dean cheated, are you saying because I love him I should stay with him, even after he's hurt me?" Mrs. Davis shook her head.  
"No dear, I'm not. I'm just telling you not to always think with your head, let your heart have a say also. You'll understand eventually, with time." Sam nodded, not completely understanding still, but trusting her words. Leaning down he pressed a kiss to her cheek in farewell, before turning and walking back home. 

Dean woke up the next day, having completely slept off his hang over, and had the last 24 hours to think. He knew he had to talk to Sam. Whether it turn out good or bad he did know he needed to. Benny looked over at Dean as he got up from the motel bed, still somewhat groggy with sleep.  
"Give me half an hour." Benny just nodded, going back to reading the paper. 

Dean pulled up in the driveway where he and Sam lived. Benny sat next to him. Dean shut off the engine, and sat in the driver's seat, staring at the house.  
Sam was in there. Today was going to set the course for probably the rest of his life. It all depended on what happened once he stepped through that front door.  
Benny placed a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder.  
"Deep breath brother, then you gotta go in there." Dean nodded, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, grounding himself. Letting the breath out and opening his eyes he got out of the impala and walked to the front door. Once he was standing in front of the door he hesitated though.  
Did he knock? Or did he just walk in? It was technically his home, but he wasn't sure if he should walk in unannounced. Deciding to give some form of an announcement, Dean knocked on the front door. 

 

Sam sat at the kitchen counter, staring across at Lucifer. As soon as he had walked through the front door he had appeared, and hadn't left since. Lucifer had started out just insulting Sam, but he had since grown bored, and just sat across from Sam in some sort of a staring war between the two. Sam felt hopeless just having Lucifer around, his grasp and affect on Sam was becoming stronger and stronger. He was tried trying to rebuke everything the Devil said. Suddenly he heard an all to familiar engine, and both him and Lucifer turned at the sound. When they looked back at each other Lucifer had a shit-eating grin on his face.  
"Well, well. Looks like the star moment is finally here. Ready to spend the rest of your life alone Sammy? You're about to loose your husband and brother." After a few minutes Sam flinched when he heard a knock at the door. A part of him didn't want to answer it, just to hide in his home for the rest of his days, never having to talk to or face Dean again. Never having to have the conversation that would break Sam: telling the love of his life that he wanted a divorce, that he wanted him out of his life, that they were over. Sam knew he had to though, and standing up he walked slowly to the front door.  
Opening the door Sam and Dean came face to face. Sam wanted to cry simply just looking at Dean.  
Dean stared at Sam, unable to move. He could see the pain clearly on Sam's face, could see how tired he was. A part of Dean just wanted to take Sam to bed, tuck him in and take care of him, to remind him what the doctor had said about stress and going without sleep. Him coming home and finding Sam on the floor and taking him to the hospital felt like it had been years ago though. Yet Dean knew that it had really only been about just a couple weeks ago. Another part of him felt angry though, just two days ago he had been here and walked in on his husband kissing another man on their couch.  
"Dean." Sam whispered, breathlessly.  
"Sam." Dean said, stronger. Sam stepped away from the door, allowing Dean to walk through. Dean walked into the house, walking the short distance into the living room. Sam followed him, saying nothing. Dean stood just in the entrance way to the room, surveying the room, as if he was expecting it to have completely changed since he'd left, since he'd last been in here. His eyes landed on the couch where _it _had happened. He felt a spike of anger again, and quickly turned around, away from the couch, and looked at Sam. Sam looking like he was huddling in on himself, trying to make himself smaller, like he was trying to hide from Dean even though he was standing out in the open before him.__  
Sam's eyes were downcast to the floor, but out of the corner of his vision he could see Lucifer appear and lean against the wall, ready to watch what he called "The Show". 

Dean took a deep breath before speaking.  
"Obviously we need to talk."  
"Yea, we do." Sam said, looking up finally into Dean's eyes. He remembered everything Mrs. Davis had said. Before him was his brother and husband. The man he loved more than anyone else in the world. Before Sam could begin speaking, Dean did.  
"Why?" Sam looked at Dean for a moment, before repeating what he had just said.  
"Why?" Asked Sam.  
"Yes, Sam! Goddammit, why!?" Dean said, his anger getting away from him.  
"Why would you do this!? I thought you were happy, happy with me! Yet I come back and find you shoving your tongue down some guy's throat! Why the hell would you do that?! After everything I've done for you!" Dean yelled. Sam felt a surge of anger, Dean knew why, he _had _to!__  
"After everything you've done for me?! Really Dean, really!? You mean like lying to me about a 'business trip' and disappearing for over nearly two weeks! You were supposed to be gone a couple days Dean!" Dean winced at that, so Sam knew he had lied to him about the business trip, he also knew that he had basically just disappeared, and that wasn't going to help at all.  
"Also, I know what you were really doing!" Sam said, Dean's head snapped up.  
"You do?"  
"Yea, I do! Beth saw you meet with that girl at the bar, and then leave with her to the motel room! After you left she left a message on _our _home machine also you know! So if you think for a second you can talk yourself out of this you are _wrong _Dean Winchester! I should be asking you 'why'!" Dean stood staring confused at Sam. Him hunting behind Sam's back justified him cheating?____  
"What are you talking about! This is two completely different situations! I was just hunting! _You're _the one that cheated!" Sam opened his mouth to shout at Dean again, but then Dean's words sunk in.__  
"Hunting?" Sam stammered out.  
"Yes! I was hunting! I'm sorry I lied and went behind your back even after I promised I would never hunt again, I'm sorry, OK? But for fucks sake, in what twisted, fucked up world does That justify you getting with another man!?" Dean said, angrily.  
"You were with another woman...." Sam said,  
"She left a message saying she'd had a great time and wanted to do it again. Beth saw you meet up with a woman at the bar and take her number. You met up with her at the motel room. You.." Sam stammered out, his sentence falling off as his eyes widened in horror, putting everything together. Dean looked at him confused, not getting what Sam was saying.  
"You didn't cheat on me." Sam finally said, backing away, grabbing his hair in both of his fists. Dean stared at Sam for a moment more before it finally snapped. Oh. _Oh! Sam had thought he was cheating on him first. He'd thought Dean had probably run off with some woman and left him. _Of course he would think that, everything Dean had done, all the information Sam had pointed exactly to cheating, and him leaving for nearly two weeks made it seem like he'd run off with her. He was an idiot. This really was all his fault.__  
"Sam.." Dean said, taking a step towards Sam. Sam just stepped away from him, tears already falling.  
"Dean. Dean I'm sorry, I'm _so _sorry! I thought you had cheated on me. I didn't know. Oh my god." Sam sobbed out.__  
"I wasn't going to.. I swear this wasn't to get back at you because I thought you were cheating on me also. It all just got so out of hand and I was angry and hurt and scared. I didn't want to raise him alone.. god." Sam cried. Dean just stood, unsure what to do exactly.  
"I wasn't going to continue this behind your back Dean. I didn't want to hurt you like that. I wan't to talk to you, I was going to demand a divorce as soon as you got back, but you came back sooner than I expected and you saw.." Sam couldn't finish, tears overtaking him and making him unable to speak clearly.  
Dean just stared at Sam in shock. His words were like a slap to the face. Sam was going to divorce him? He was going to demand a divorce!? He thought he'd cheated on him, did his husband really trust him that little, did he really think he didn't love him enough?! Dean had never, not once, since he and Sam had been together wanted another man or woman. He'd never thought about cheating on Sam, and never would. How could Sam trust him that little? Of course, he could see clearly why Sam had thought so, but still, it hurt. A lot.  
Dean didn't know what to do, a few of his own stray tears falling. He walked forward and pulled Sam into his arms, despite everything it ripped him apart to see his brother in so much distress and emotional pain. Sam buried his face in Dean's shoulder, and continued to cry as they both just slowly sank to the floor, holding each other.  
They stayed like that for what felt like hours, long past Sam's tears dried up. They each sat there thinking about everything, each unsure what to do and what to say.  
Sam thought about what Mrs. Davis had said. About following and listening to his heart, that it sometimes knew better than his brain did. He understood now, he had never believed Dean would ever cheat on him, in his heart he knew Dean was the love of his life, and he couldn't ever love another man like he loved Dean. He knew in his heart that Dean would never cheat on him, but his mind had told him different, had told him what Beth had said, what the evidence had pointed to, and it had been so horribly _wrong _, and now he could loose Dean because of his mistakes.__  
After awhile more Dean pulled away.  
"Sammy. We need to talk some more." Sam nodded, sighing. He'd never thought he'd hear Dean call him that again. Standing up Dean helped Sam to his feet, and lead him to the kitchen to sit at the counter. After they were both seated Dean spoke again.  
"OK Sam. I understand why you thought I was cheating, I would've too if I was in your situation. I was an idiot, I never should have lied to you, never should have gone behind your back. But Sammy, come on, I would never cheat on you. I thought you knew that."  
"I did, I do. In my heart I did, but everything pointed to that you were, Dean I got a voicemail from some woman I don't know saying she had a great time with you!" Dean sighed.  
"That was Liz. Who is happily married to another hunter, Marcus, by the way. She knew that you didn't know I was hunting with them, so she probably didn't know how to leave a message without revealing I was hunting with them. But, why did you instantly go and get with another guy Sam? Why?"  
"I didn't instantly do it. Damien-"  
"Oh so his name's Damien?"  
"Dean please, listen."  
"Alright, continue."  
"Beth and I went to the bar she saw you at to ask some questions, Damien is the bar tender there, he flirted with me but I turned him down. He told me to come back if I ever wanted to go on a date. After a little while, other things were turning up, I thought you were cheating on me, I didn't know if you'd run off with her, I didn't know if you were ever coming back. I was scared Dean, I was pregnant, and I thought I was now alone, and that scared me. I thought I was going to be, even if you came back, left alone to have and raise our son myself. I went back to Damien, because he was the first guy to show me interest. We went on a date, and he was nice, and didn't care that I was pregnant with another man's kid, he was willing to be there for me when I needed him most. He wanted to be there for me, he was willing to be a father to Mikey, because of his own past. He was a life raft for me Dean, and I took it because I didn't think I'd get another, and I didn't want to give birth alone. You still weren't coming back so I decided I wasn't going to stay with someone who cheated on me, and I was going to accept Damien's offer. I was going to ask for a divorce as soon as you got back, like I said, but you came sooner than I expected. Dean I wasn't going to continue behind your back like some sort of silent revenge, I just wanted out. Dean I was terrified, and that terror was taking control."  
"I.. Sam I can't tell you how hurt I am. Yet, I know that I've also hurt you, I lied to you and left you and you were sacred, I understand why you did what you did, mostly. You were doing what you thought was right, you were trying to do what you thought would be good for Mikey also. God it still hurts though Sam."  
"I'm sorry Dean, I know I can't fix this, and I know saying it doesn't make it better. But I am so sorry."  
"I am too. I started this mess. I never should have lied to you. I'm sorry."  
They sat in silence for awhile then before Sam spoke again."What do we do now?"  
"I don't know. Do you still plan on getting a divorce?"  
"No. Not unless you want to."  
"I don't."  
"I don't either." 

"Where were you? Why couldn't you answer your phone?"  
"Hunt kinda went south, Marcus and Elizabeth got hurt. I kinda got sent to Purgatory..."  
"Purgatory?!"  
"Yea, was kinda planning on it in the first place, but I wasn't expecting it to take a week to get out."  
"Oh."  
"There's also, um, one other thing about Purgatory."  
"What?"  
"Benny is back, actually he's sitting out waiting in the Impala."  
"Benny is back?!"  
"Yea." 

"Dean?"  
"Yea?"  
"Are you going to leave, go back to hunting?"  
"I don't know, I don't want to. Sam I wanted to just get that last little itch scratched, yah know? Then I was going to be done, forever. Come back here to you and Mikey, tell you the truth then, and then everything would be fine eventually. I wasn't expecting this shit storm."  
"I don't want you to leave."  
"I don't want to leave either."

"I love you Dean."  
"I love you too Sammy, no matter what, always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, not really sure what's going on. I'm thinking Sam and Dean are going to need some serious help with their relationship.  
> Let me know what you thought!


	28. We Need Help

After a few more minutes of sitting in awkward silence together Dean stood up.  
"I'm gonna go get Benny... he's been waiting in the Impala this entire time. If that's OK with you..?" Dean asked, unsure of Sam's feelings still towards the vampire, he knew Sam was grateful for what Benny did when Sam was in Purgatory, but he didn't know how far that gratitude went.   
"Of course it's OK. Bring him in." Sam said. Dean just gave a nod before somewhat backing out of the kitchen and heading to the car.  
The moment Sam heard the front door close he let his head drop into his hands and let out a deep sigh.  
That conversation had been horrible, and afterwards it had been downright awkward.  
He'd forgotten how to speak to his own husband and brother. 

Dean sighed the moment he closed the front door, he motioned Benny to come to the house. Benny quickly got out of the Impala and walked up to Dean.  
"So what happened? You were in there awhile."  
"Sam thought I was cheating on him." Dean answered. Benny stared at Dean, shocked.  
"Cheating on him!? How in the good Lord's name would he think-" Benny cut off, getting a thoughtful look on his face.  
"Oh, I can see how he got that. That explains a lot."   
"Benny," Dean let out a sigh,   
"Benny he was going to ask for a divorce the moment I got back, if I hadn't walked in on him and that guy. He wasn't going to continue the affair, he was going to leave me, and go with that guy."   
"Wow.. at least he had honorable intentions? Or at least no malice behind his actions. I can see where he almost was dignified to do that, especially if he was just going to ask for a divorce right away. Not that this was the right way to go about it, he should have waited, but I can see why he did it Dean. Under his knowledge it wasn't completely in the wrong if you get what I'm sayin' Brother." Benny said.   
"I just, I can see that Benny, I can. It just hurts like hell. Sam thought I would cheat on him. He was going to leave me."   
"I know Brother, I know. But now you two can work through this hopefully, get through it, move on."  
"Yea," Dean said,  
"hopefully." 

Sam looked up when he heard the front door open and close, shortly after Dean walked back into the kitchen, and Benny followed after him. Standing up, Sam waited for one of them to speak, his eyes going from Dean to Benny and back to Dean. Benny could feel the tension and awkwardness in the air, it was like a invisible thick smog around them, suffocating. Hoping to ease some of the tension, Benny grinned and walked towards Sam.  
"Sam! Look at you! Wow! Pregnant and you still look great!" Sam offered a small smile, before speaking.  
"Thank you Benny. Wow though, to you! I never thought I'd see you again." Benny's grin widened.  
"Well, sorry Cher, but you're gonna have to put up with me again, planning on sticking around a little longer. Promised Dean I'd give being topside another try. Maybe being around people I know will help a bit." Benny said, before his smile faltered for a moment.  
"Of course, unless you don't want me around. Any ill will still? I can easily be gone if you want me to be Sam. I know the hunter instincts stick around." Sam waved Benny's comment off.  
"Of course there isn't Benny. I owe you my life, and also know I can trust you with it now. You're a friend, both to Dean and myself." Sam said, his smile growing a bit. Benny smiled back.  
"Well, I must say I'm honored to hear." Dean watched the interaction, glad that at least he knew he wouldn't have to deal with Sam being pissed off about Benny being around.   
"Well," Benny said, clapping his hands together.  
"It's been wonderful seeing you, but I'll leave you too to talk some more. Call the motel if you might possibly need me." With that, Benny walked out of the room, leaving Sam and Dean alone again, the tension quickly resettling itself on them.  
"So.. what do you want to do, as far as the situation...?"   
"I want to be here. You're due in less than a month. I'll just... stay in a guest room for now though." Dean said. Sam nodded.   
"OK. I'll just... make some supper then, since you're staying?" Sam asked, unsure what Dean's full intentions were.   
"Yea. Yea, supper sounds good." Dean said.   
"I'm just gonna go get my bag from the car, then go see Bear. He in the backyard?"   
"Yea." With that, Dean went and grabbed his bag from the Impala, and headed up to his and Sam's bedroom. Walking through the door he stopped and just gazed around the room for a moment. It was just how it was when he'd left. Now though questions and suspicions went through his head. What had happened in this house while he was gone? Had Damien been in here? Where else in this house had that man been? Dean felt sick just thinking about the possibility of Sam having sex with another man in their bed. He was fairly certain it hadn't gotten that far, but he hadn't actually asked Sam what had all exactly happened. Shaking his head, trying to clear the image of Sam on the couch kissing Damien from it, Dean set his bag down on the bed and quickly cleared out the dirty clothes and put them in the hamper, and put everything else away. Once he was done he headed back downstairs, and went to the backyard. Almost as soon as he was out the back door Bear was on him. Dean chuckled, crouching down to pet the dog. Bear did his best to cover Dean's face in 'kisses' before he managed to push the dog's head away.   
"I'm glad to see you too Bear." Dean laughed. Bear quickly then darted off to the backyard, and Dean stood up to watch him. Bear came bounding back after a moment, one of his tennis balls in his mouth. He laid the ball down at Dean's feet, and sat down, looking up at Dean expectantly.  
"You wanna play fetch boy?" Dean asked, bending down and picking up the ball. Bear gave a sharp bark in answer and Dean threw the ball. Bear took off after the ball, and brought it back to Dean. They continued until Sam poked his head out the door, telling Dean supper was ready. Dean gave Bear one final scratch before setting the ball down and heading back inside.   
Dean headed to the kitchen sink to wash up, and Sam made plates for both of them. They both sat in silence, eating the meal. Dean cleared his throat, offering a simple "foods good" before continuing eat, and Sam just said a soft "thanks" in return. They continued on for awhile before Dean set down his fork, needing to know:  
"Sam. You and that Damien guy... did he ever go anywhere else besides the living room?" Sam looked up from his plate, cocking an eyebrow at Dean.  
"Well.. I cooked him lunch, and gave him a full tour of the house...."  
"Uh huh, uh huh. Exactly what do you mean by a 'full tour' of the house?"  
"Dean, what do you think I mean by 'full tour' it's a tour of the house!" Sam said.  
"Did he go in the bedroom, our bedroom?"   
"Well yes-"  
"So he was in our bedroom!?"  
"Yes Dean! I just said that! I showed him all the bedrooms, the nursery-"  
"The nursery?! You showed the guy you were cheating on me with the room we were going to bring _our _son home to!?"  
"Dean what the hell?! Why is that such a big deal!? People often give people tours of their home when they first come over!"  
"Did you do anything else besides give him a tour? You said you cooked him lunch, was there a 'dessert' Sam?!"   
"Dean what the hell are you asking me!?"  
"I'm trying to ask you if you fucking fucked the guy Sam! In our home or anywhere else!" Dean yelled, standing up quickly, chest heaving from anger. Sam stared in shock for a moment at Dean, before his anger was clear on his face to. Clenching his teeth, Sam answered,  
"no, Dean. We kissed. That was it! I would have _never _done that while I was still married, ever!" Dean felt relief, knowing Sam had only kissed the guy, but the anger still was more overpowering.  
"But planning there rest of your life together, letting him be a father to our son, you would do while you were still married!"   
"I already explained myself to you Dean!" Sam yelled, standing up also.  
"I can't deal with this right now, Dean, I can't!" He said, storming out of the kitchen and heading up stairs.   
As soon as Sam had made it to their bedroom, he slammed the door behind him and sunk to the ground, crying. Lucifer was laughing his head off in the corner of the room, having appeared the moment that Dean had asked about Damien.   
He was a horrible person. He'd ruined one of the best things to have ever happened to him, over his own stupid insecurities. Sam wasn't sure he was ever going to be able to fix it. ____

____The anger left Dean as soon as he heard the bedroom door slam. He shouldn't have yelled at Sam, he shouldn't have gotten as angry as he had. Sam had already explained it to Dean, and Dean understood the reasoning, he did, but he still was angry about it, and he felt that his anger was justified as well. Non the less, Sam was pregnant, he shouldn't be doing this to Sam. He couldn't even imagine how much stress this was probably causing Sam, how much stress he was causing Sam. He had to stop loosing his head like this. He was going to be a father soon, no matter how this all played out, he was going to get mad, but he couldn't blow up like this so easily at his own kid. Sam also didn't deserve it, he needed to control his anger.  
Sighing, Dean headed up stairs to apologize to Sam. As soon as he got to their bedroom door, and was about to knock, he paused. He could hear Sam crying on the other side of the door, and he felt even worse. Sam was still his little brother, still the love of his life, and he hated to hear and see Sam crying, no matter what. Knocking softly on the door to announce himself, Dean opened the door. Sam was on the floor, leaning against their bed, knees pulled up as close as they could be with his stomach in the way, and his arms wrapped around his legs. He had his head buried in the little space created between his knees and belly. Dean walked into the room and sat down on the floor next to Sam. They sat like that for awhile, Dean listening to Sam's crying fade off into sniffling, and finally silence. Eventually Sam lifted his head, and wiped his eyes. They both just sat next to each other, not looking at the other. Finally Dean spoke.  
"We need help. Real help." Sam nodded, wiping his face again.  
"I think I know someone that can help."_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate your guy's comments, and suggestions/insights on the story  
> they really help inspire me, as well as give me an idea where to take the story based on what you guys write!  
> So as always, let me know what you thought, and thanks for reading!


	29. No Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !NOTE!  
>  I've been getting hate for Mrs. Davis, please know guys I don't wish for y'all to hate her.  
> I'm basing Mrs. Davis off of this really protective grandmother I know, she has a good heart but, god forbid, you hurt someone she loves, she doesn't easily forgive that person, and it's really difficult to right a wrong with her. She is also really caring to those she loves, though.  
> I really don't want people to hate Mrs. Davis, but I can kind of see why people do after this chapter, but please I didn't put her in this story to be a bad guy, I wanted someone that Sam could trust and lean on, I didn't create her to be a flawless character though, and she might know a lot but that doesn't mean she knows everything. She's there to comfort Sam.  
> Please see that the advice she gave Sam and Dean, to talk about their feelings together, have no secrets between them, is good advice, they do need to sit down and have a good, long heart to heart.

Sam knocked on the front door to Mrs. Davis's house. Dean shuffled behind him, clearly uncomfortable about this. He didn't want to tell a stranger about his marital problems, but Sam had insisted they needed help. Sam was willing to go to a counselor, but Dean had flat out said no to it, since he just believed that a marriage counselor would try to get as much money out of them as possible. Sam had just shook his head at Dean's distrust towards them. So now here they were, standing on Mrs. Davis's porch.  
Mrs. Davis came to the door a few moments later, and smiled when she saw that it was Sam.  
"Samuel, how good to see you again so soon dearie." She said, opening the screen door, and motioning for Sam and Dean to come in. Sam smiled, leaning down to place a kiss to Mrs. Davis's cheek before walking into the house, Dean awkwardly following Sam, stepping around Mrs. Davis, who eyed him, but didn't say anything.  
"It's good to see you too, as always Nona. I'm afraid though I'm not here for just a visit. I, we, need your help." Sam said, gesturing to Dean. Mrs. Davis turned her attention then again to Dean.  
"Well, then aren't you going to introduce me to this man Sam?"  
"Of course, Nona, this is Dean. My husband." Dean stepped closer to Mrs. Davis, holding out his hand for her to shake.  
"Nona, it's good to meet you, Sam's told me about you before." Mrs. Davis glared at Dean's out stretched hand, before looking up at him sternly.  
"It's Mrs. Davis to you Dean, my grandbabies call me Nona." She stated, before turning away from Dean. Dean stood for a moment stunned, before he let his hand drop back to his side. Mrs. Davis went and sat down in an arm chair in her living room, motioning to Sam to sit down as well. Sam took a seat on the sofa across from her, and Dean sat down next to him.  
"So Samuel, what do you two need my help with?"  
"Nona, Dean didn't cheat on me. I was wrong, I made assumptions and they weren't true, and you know what happened...."  
Mrs. Davis leaned back in her chair.  
"Now you need help working through the fact that you cheated on him wrongly?" Sam nodded. "So where did he disappear to then?" She asked, eyeing Dean again. Sam took a deep breath, he obviously couldn't tell her about hunting, he was going to have to come up with something.  
"When Dean and I were together, before we settle down, we were constantly on the road. We kind of drifted from town to town looking for work. It wasn't glamorous but we made it by, but then we got married and decided to have a family so we moved here. The work we did was.. dangerous. Um...." Sam trailed off, he was usually good at coming up with lies, he had done it his whole life regarding hunting, but now he couldn't seem to think of anything, a part of him not wanting to lie to this woman that was like a grandmother to him.  
"What exactly was this work?" Mrs. Davis pressed.  
"Pest control." Sam blurted out. Mrs. Davis looked at Sam, almost like she was reading him for a moment, then she leaned forward and took one of Sam's hands in her own.  
"Samuel, I am a very old lady. I have seen a lot in my time, I know a lot. You know the last time I had someone that was a drifter tell me they were in pest control, they meant a different kind of pest than a cockroach infestation." Sam and Dean both stared at Mrs. Davis, unsure if what she was saying was what they thought she was saying.  
"Nona...?" Sam questioned.  
"When I was, oh... about 17 there were these deaths in my town. This was even before I'd met Mr. Davis you see, and one day these two investigators showed up at my parent's home, wanting to ask us some questions. Long story short, I saw some things, and learned some things. They called themselves hunters. Now Sam, would you like to continue?"  
"You know about hunters? Like... the ones to fight.."  
"Monsters? Yes. What was it they were after...a rhua, rurga.."  
"A Rugaru?" Sam filled in.  
"Yes, that's what it was, a Rugaru. Nasty thing it sounded like from what they told me."  
"Alright, yes, Dean and I were hunters for a long time Mrs. Davis. We were both raised hunters. When we decided to have a family, we both swore, Dean swore, hunting was done. We were done. We weren't going to drag that into our lives, and risk that with our kids. If something were to happen to one of us, or god forbid, one of our children...." Sam trailed off, letting her fill in the rest herself.  
"Let me guess, Dean here decided to go hunting?"  
"Yes. He said he was going on a business trip instead, though, like I told you."  
"So Dean, you lied to your husband, and went behind his back on something you knew was dangerous and he didn't want you doing, and you did it anyways, and when he's heavily pregnant?" Mrs. Davis asked Dean.  
"Yes. I did." Dean said, ashamed.  
"Alright. Tell me the full story then, from the beginning so I know what actually was happening."  
"Alright." Sam said, taking a deep breath and began to go through everything that had happened from beginning to end. 

"And then I said we needed help, and we came over. You've helped me so much already Mrs. Davis, and I trust you with this now." Sam finished.  
"Well Sam. I understand why you thought Dean was cheating, anyone could. Anyone would probably think so, too. You were wrong though Sam, you had decided on divorcing Dean when he got back, which at least you weren't planning to continue the affair, but you were obviously wrong about him cheating. Cheating, in any form, is very serious, and is extremely destructive to relationships. You're very much so in the fault there Samuel, and I'm sure Dean is very hurt about that, right?" Dean nodded, agreeing. Sam looked guiltily at Dean, thinking about just how horribly he could have ruined his marriage with his insecurities. He could hear a faint chuckling in his head, reminding him exactly where those were from. "Now Dean, you have every right to be mad, and hurt. But just because Sam clearly made a big mistake, doesn't mean what you did disappears. Sam has a right to be hurt too. You lied to your husband, went behind his back, hunted, and knowingly put yourself in danger. What if something had happened to you? How would he have known? What if you would have died? Sam would be a widower. Your child would have no father, because you chose to hunt over being there for your husband, and child." "Mrs. Davis, then what should we do, how do we get over this?" Dean asked. "Every marriage has their difficulties, lord knows Mr. Davis and I did, though not many have probably ever been in your particular situation. You two need to decide, do you want to get over this?" "Yes." Sam and Dean both answered in unison. "Well then that's the first step, you're both willing to work to save your marriage, that's important. So I ask you this: Dean, you risked throwing everything you had away. Why? That's what you need to answer to both yourself and Sam. What drove you to need to go on a hunt so badly? Sam, tell Dean why exactly you thought so easily he would cheat on you, explain your reasoning more. You both need to understand each other. Lay everything out, no secrets between you two. Tell each other what you're feeling. Understand?"  
"Yes ma'am." Sam and Dean both said in unison, again.  
"Good." Mrs. Davis said, standing up.  
"Now, come with me. Sam I made that pup of yours some home made dog treats, and I have a casserole for you to take home. I was planning to bring them over later, but you came over first. Sam smiled, and he and Dean followed Mrs. Davis into the kitchen.  
Mrs. Davis took a pan and a plastic Tupperware bowl out of the fridge, and handed them to Dean.  
"I want those back now, so I can keep filling them up and sending them over to you two, understand?"  
"Yes ma'am." Dean said again. He couldn't believe he was intimidated, and honestly kind of scared, of this tiny, frail old woman. She turned then back to Sam.  
"You take care now dear, and I hope to see you again soon." She said, smiling up at Sam.  
"Of course Nona." Sam smiled down at her, bending down as best he could to embrace her.  
"Thank you also, for agreeing to help us." Sam said.  
"Of course dear. You know you're my adopted grandson to me, and once that little one is born he will be too, as will any other little ones you have." Sam grinned at her words. "Goodbye Nona." He said, heading out the door. Dean turned to follow Sam, pan and Tupperware bowl in his hands, when he felt a hand on his arm. He turned again to look at Mrs. Davis. She fixed him with a stern look.  
"You listen here you whippersnapper, I love that boy dearly, he's a grandson to me, even if it's not through blood. I know he's made a big mistake, and that you're hurting and angry; but you hurt him also, so you better not hurt him anymore, you've put him through plenty already. He's been acting out of fear and desperateness, so remember that. OK?" Dean nodded.  
"Mrs. Davis. I don't want to hurt him anymore, I swear. I just want to do my best to fix this, I want to fix my marriage. We've been through too much already to let this tear us apart."  
"Good. Now get on and walk with him to your house." Dean nodded, before turning and walking away quickly to catch up with Sam.

As soon as he was next to Sam, heading down the sidewalk to their own home, he cleared his throat.  
"Sammy, she's right. We both made mistakes, we have made a lot in the past also. I mean, I think we've done worse in the past, and we came through that, right?" Dean said.  
"Dean, how can you even say that? How can you even look at me? I cheated on you Dean! We're married and I cheated on you!"  
"Sammy, I made mistakes too, Ok? I can see why you did what you did. You weren't gonna stay married to me. So it wasn't gonna continue as an affair."  
"Dean that doesn't mean anything, it doesn't change the fact that I cheated on you! I kissed him, I was going to leave you for him!" Sam said, and stopped walking and look at Dean desperately.  
"Why aren't you yelling at me?! Why aren't you throwing this in my face more, demanding a divorce yourself and leaving me?! I deserve that!"  
Dean stopped walking and turned to look at Sam also.  
"Because I love you, Sam! You want me to say I'm mad? Fine I'm pissed, I'm furious. I want to go and bash that bastard's face in, and yea, maybe I should leave you. But I'm not going to, not until we try to fix this at least. I love you Sammy, dammit. You're the love of my life, my soulmate. We're going to have a son no matter what we decide to do. We've been through to much shit together to give up, not now, not after everything. So yes, I'm furious, and I'm hurt, but not enough to give up yet. We both have made our choices, and we both made the wrong ones, so let's try our best to fix this. OK?" Dean said, breathing heavily. Sam looked into Dean's eyes, searching. Finally he nodded.  
"Ok."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone still has any major problems, let me know and I will do my best to fix them in this chapter.


	30. We're a Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I'm not dead, and this story isn't either! I'm SO sorry this took so long! I just haven't had time or motivation to write, but here this is, and I hope y'all like it!

Sam stared across the table at Dean, Dean stared back. Both said nothing. The silence in the room was deafening, and even Bear seemed to be able to feel the tension in the room. He was laying down at Sam's feet, given up from previously trying to cheer his master up. Sam decided he needed to say something, anything, to get this started.  
"So, how do you want to do this? What do you want to do?" Sam asked. Dean took a deep breath, thinking over what he wanted to say.  
"Why did you think I would cheat on you. I know you had signs, I know what people said. What did I do wrong to make you think I would ever actually do that, what ruined your trust in me Sammy?" Sam took a deep breath, closing his eyes to think. He could say plenty of things why he thought so. He was Dean's little brother, and always would be, apart of Dean in the past had always been unsure of their relationship- and that had hurt Sam before. They had gotten over that though, Sam was sure of it. He could also say it was the way women looked at Dean, and the way Dean would sometimes look back at them, or comments he would make about them to even Sam that made him unsure that he was what Dean really wanted, if he was enough for Dean. Dean had ensured him hundreds of times though that Sam was all he needed, all he wanted. Or..  
"Lucifer." Sam blurted out, it was the truth, and Dean should know Sam decided. As if magically summoned by the saying of his name, the Devil himself appeared at the table, standing besides Dean, head turned slightly with a cocky smile on his face.  
"You called?" Lucifer said, grinning, Sam ignored him, watching Dean instead.  
Dean was staring blankly at him, as if he wasn't completely sure he had heard Sam completely.  
"Lucifer?" Dean asked, unsure.  
"When I got the fever, I blacked out. I was dreaming about being in the cage, being tortured, after that I just kept dreaming of Lucifer, and the cage. You were gone then though, and I don't know what happened, or what changed but then he just started appearing. I was on a date with Damien." Sam paused for a moment when he saw Dean tense up at that, but continued anyways,  
"and he just suddenly appeared. He's almost always there now Dean, like before and I just... I feel like I never got out again, and when I am able to nearly convince myself I'm out he's still there, and he just mocks me and says things and you were gone and they started cutting deeper and I tried not to believe them but he just gets into my head Dean and I just don't know what to do, I don't know how to get him out I can't deal and I don't always know what's real and whats not and I just-" Sam broke off breathing hard, trying not to cry. Dean reached across the table, concern clear on his face.  
"Lucifer said things about our relationship?" Sam nodded, trying to compose himself again still. Dean stayed silent, waiting till Sam was waiting to talk again.  
"He kept saying you left me because I wasn't good enough, that you finally saw sense, that no one would ever love me, not even my own son would, and everyone would leave me and Dean with you gone and I was so stressed and tried it just started to make sense, he got into my head, and I just started believing him. I'm sorry, Dean, I'm an idiot, god he's right I am weak I can't even-" Dean cut Sam off before he could continue talking.  
"Sam. Look at me, look at me!" Sam did.  
"Sammy, you are the strongest goddamn person I know, Ok? Lucifer was wrong, about everything, I swear. Whatever he said wasn't true. I love you, our son will love you, people love you Sammy, pretty much everywhere we go." Dean smiled reassuringly.  
"Dean he just, he was in my head, he knows every little insecurity I have, and he knows how to use them against me.. I just, I always have been insecure in your love for me Dean. I've done so many things, messed up so much, I just don't understand how you can even forgive me."  
"Sammy, you do realize I could say the exact same things about myself. I've messed up, I've done some horrible things, yet you're still here, you agreed to marry me, you're having my kid! I never would have thought I could have deserved that, deserved you. You're.. you're not the only one with insecurities Sam. When I walked in on your and him, I was mad, but I was also thinking you finally figured out I wasn't good enough for you, that you could do so much better than me."  
"Dean..." Sam started, but Dean held up a finger to silence him.  
"Sammy. You're it for me, Ok? There is never going to be anyone else, ever. I'm sorry I ever gave you any doubt to believe otherwise." Dean paused, taking a deep breath.  
"This is difficult for me, this entire situation. I wanna be a good husband, I wanna be a father, I wanna be what you and the baby deserve Sam, but I'm scared. Hell I'm terrified, I'm terrified of being a dad, of messing something up with our kid. I'm terrified of being locked down permanently, I know freedom, the open road in front of me. That's all I know Sam. I know the freedom of hunting. Now we suddenly have all these huge responsibilities. We have a house, and bills, and I have a job. We have a dog, and a kid on the way. We're gonna have to deal with school, and saving for college, and medical bills and homework and braces and I don't know how to do that Sam. I don't, and I clearly didn't handle it well, running off on a hunt."  
"Dean. You think I know any of this? I'm terrified too, but I have you. We have each other, and we'll figure it out. This hasn't been easy for me either, settling down, but I am, because I know it will be worth it, in the end, when we have our son. I can't do this alone though Dean, so please, please don't leave me to do this alone." Dean smiled at Sam.  
"Never Sammy. We can do this, yea, we can. We'll figure it out."  
"Yea, we will."  
"We're a team. We can do this."


	31. Soon

Sam looked at the bed nervously, it had been five days since he and Dean had sat down and talked. They had gone back to Mrs. Davis two days ago to talk to her, and again today. She was proud of them, she was really helping them. Today she told them they should try sleeping in the same bed again. She said they both needed the comfort of each other, and that it would bring them closer again.  
Sam chewed his lip, worrying. Dean was going to be out of the bathroom in a minute, and they would both have to get into the bed together. They hadn't shared the same bed in what felt like forever. They obviously weren't going to do anything together, they weren't ready for that, and also Sam could go into labor anytime really. He had one last appointment tomorrow, and Dean was going with him to it. His due date was in a week and a half. He was going to be a parent in less than two weeks.... Sam's train of thought left his worrying behind of Dean and instead moved onto worry of being a parent, about giving birth soon. He looked down at his swollen middle, rubbing his hand over the stretched skin under his shirt.  
Sam turned around quickly though, his hand falling down, when he heard Dean clear his voice behind him. Dean was looking at Sam, as unsure about what to do as Sam was. They had done this countless times before, but suddenly it felt foreign to Sam. Like a dance he had done his entire life but suddenly couldn't remember the right footing for. Dean made the first move though, walking around to his side of the bed and getting in. Sam followed suit, awkwardly getting in due to his stomach. Once they were both sitting upright in bed, Dean cautiously reached him hand out, cupping the side of Sam's face so gently as if he felt the smallest wrong move and Sam would break under his touch. He rubbed his thumb across Sam's cheek slowly, not saying anything, he didn't need to. Sam leaned him face gently into the caress, his eyes closing on their own. When he opened them again, he found that Dean was closer to him, leaning in. Sam stayed put, waiting for Dean to meet him, when suddenly Bear jumped up onto the bed, surprising them both and effectively ruining the moment. Dean pulled his hand away quickly, muttered a 'good night' and rolled over in bed, pulling the blankets over himself. Sam sighed, he loved the dog but sometimes Bear could be a nuisance. Bear simply made himself comfortable, at the end of the bed closest to Sam. Sam shook his head, smiling slightly, he couldn't stay mad at Bear, and settled down in bed himself, on his back since his stomach had made it pretty much impossible for him to sleep on his side now. He was asleep within minutes. 

Sam woke up the next morning to his phone alarm going up, waking him up for the appointment. He groaned and got out of bed, walking sleepily to the bathroom to get ready for the day.  
When he made his way downstairs, he was surprised to see Dean already dressed, and apparently he had also made breakfast. Dean looked up from the newspaper he was reading when Sam walked in.  
"Ah, you're up. Eat up, then we'll go, I don't wanna be late." Sam nodded, and grabbed a plate and spooned some scrambled eggs and a few slices of bacon on his plate and sat down to eat. 

Sam settle back on the examination bed, while Dr. Paul squirted the gel onto his stomach for the ultrasound. Dr. Paul had greeted Dean warmly. and had joked that they'd missed him at the last appointment, but were glad he was back now. Dean had hesitantly smiled, saying he had been out of town so he regretfully couldn't make the last appointment.  
Sam and Dean both stared in awe, as they always did, when the screen showed their son.  
"Just like last time everything seems wonderful, no problems it seems. Baby and father are both healthy. You'll be well set and ready for whenever the little one decides to make an appearance." Dr. Paul said, smiling at them.  
"You can go home now, no need to make another appointment, the next time I should see you I suspect you'll be in labor Sam." He said, smiling.  
"Have a good day you two."  
"Have a good day." Sam and Dean both said at once, and they couldn't help but grin at each other afterwards.  
"Soon Sammy." Dean said, smiling.  
"Yea," Sam breathed.  
"Soon." He smiled.


	32. Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry I literally haven't updated this in two months. Motivation is just lacking generally, and I've been doing other things.   
> Though this series celebrated it's 2nd birthday in June! Wow, can't believe I've been working on this that long!  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy, see you again in two months lol ;)

Sam jerked awake to the sound of an alarm going off; a moment later though he felt Dean groan and roll over, shutting the alarm off, and getting out of bed. What was Dean doing up? Sam racked his sleep muddled mind for an answer, turning slightly to watch Dean head into the bathroom. Then he remembered, Dean had to go back to work today. He'd told Sam yesterday when they were eating supper yesterday. The time he had taken off from work to go on the hunt was up. Sam sighed, he knew Dean had been away from work for a long time, first with leaving for the hunt, then the problems with it that took way more time than he was expecting it to, and then the past week he had spent back with Sam. The doctor's appointment had gone great yesterday, the baby would be here soon, Dean was going to go back to work. Things were going back to normal, kind of, and then they would completely change again forever when the baby arrived- hopefully for the better.   
Sighing, Sam made himself comfortable again to fall back asleep, he wasn't ready to be awake yet. 

Dean walked out of the bathroom, fully dressed at ready for work. He knew he probably had a lot of catching up to do at the mechanic shop, the guys he was the head of were still knew to working with classics. Hopefully his boss wouldn't be too mad at the large amount of time Dean had taken off either.   
He looked over at the bed and saw Sam was asleep, walking over to him Dean pressed a gentle kiss to his temple, just like he'd done every morning he left for work before, and whispered his goodbye into his husband's hair. 

Dean walked into work, and was instantly met by his boss.   
"Winchester. My office, we need to talk." Dean cursed silently under his breath, and followed his boss. Once inside his boss motioned for him to take the seat in front of his desk, and sat down behind it himself.   
"Is there a problem sir? Besides, of course all the time I've been gone, I'm sorry I was gone so much longer than I said, there was just this big issue-" His boss held up his hand.  
"Dean, that had all been covered, of course I'm not happy about it, and would prefer you never take so much time off work again, but you trained the men in your department well, they handled the cars well. What I want to know, is why I got a call from your husband, asking about you being on a business, that I sent you on." Dean's face paled slightly, of course Sam had called his boss to fact check him, he wasn't mad, he just should have known.  
"Sir I can explain-"  
"Now Dean, I know I'm an older man. But I think I would still remember sending you on a business trip. Now, am I mistaken, or did you lie to your husband?" Dean sighed, and hung his head slightly, ashamed.  
"Yes, sir. I did lie to him. I, there was something I left to do, that I knew he wouldn't approve of, so I lied to him about what I was doing." He boss nodded, looking thoughtful.  
"Dean, I appreciate the honesty, not men would say that. But what was it you were doing? Not drugs or gambling, or something like that?"  
"No sir, nothing like that, I used to be in this traveling business, pest control, and some people in it asked for some help with an infestation and I agreed to help them. My husband wants me out because he wants me to stay at home, not on the road, and also the job isn't the safest."  
"I see, so the pest control must be bigger things, not like insects and such, more dangerous things?"  
"Yes sir."  
"Well, I can understand that. My wife never liked my enjoyment for mountain climbing when I was younger, she was worried I might slip." His boss chuckled.  
"Just don't lie to your husband Dean, be honest. In marriages it's always the best option, believe me."  
"Yes sir, it won't happen again trust me."  
"Good. Now get to work, there's cars to fix."  
"Yes sir." Dean said, getting up and walking out of the office. As soon as he was outside he let out a sigh of relief. He was worried he was going to get demoted, or worse: fired. Walking over his coworkers greeted him and welcomed him back. Within ten minutes he was to his elbows working on an engine for a 57' Chevy. 

Sam turned off the TV, Dean would be back from work soon, and he was going to start setting the table for them to eat when he got home.   
Sam finished setting the last glass on the table when his cell phone started ringing. Not recognizing the number, but seeing that it was local, he answered it.  
"Hello?"  
"Sam! Hey! I was hoping you would answer! I was getting worried, you haven't said called or anything to tell me what the hell happened!" Sam sighed at the voice.  
"Damien. What number are you calling from?"  
"The bar's phone. Listen are you ok? Like I said I've gotten nothing but radio silence from you since your husband walked in on us."   
"Yea, listen, Damien we can't be together. You're an amazing man and -"  
"What do you mean we can't be together? What's Dean got on you? He was cheating on you and you're still gonna stay with that SOB?"   
"No! Listen to me! It was a misunderstanding, Dean never cheated on me, ok? It was something else. I'm the one that cheated now and, I just, please don't call anymore Damien. Please. We're trying to fix our marriage, we're going to have a son together and nothing can change that. I don't want my son to be raised in a broke home. I can fix my marriage, I want to fix my marriage."  
"But, but what about us? Everything I said, everything you said! You said you could see a life with me." Sam sighed again.  
"Damien, listen, I was confused, and hormonal, and scared. I thought I was about to loose my husband, and have to raise a child myself. You're an amazing man, and if I wasn't with Dean maybe we could have had that life together but.. but I'm with Dean, I want to be with him. Damien, I'm sorry, but we just aren't going to happen."  
"Sam. Please. Think about this, even if he wasn't cheating, where was he? What was he doing? I won't ever even make you question our relationship Sam, so please don't end this." Sam was about to answer when he heard the front door open, and a few moments later Dean walked into the kitchen. Dean mouthed to Sam 'who's on the phone?' and Sam bit his lip, he wasn't going to lie to Dean, but what would Dean think about him being on the phone with Damien?  
"Sam? Hello? Are you there? What's happening? Sam talk to me, think about this!" Sam held the phone away from his ear.  
"Dean. Don't over react, he called. I was just telling him not to call again-"   
"Who is it Sam?" Dean said, bluntly.   
"Damien." Sam answered, quickly.  
"Dean, it's nothing, he was just calling, wanting to know what was happening. I was telling him we were fixing our marriage and not to call again, it's nothing-"  
"Give me the phone."  
"Dean-"  
"Give me the phone, Sam." Dean said sharply, holding his hand out for the phone. Sam handed it over. Dean held it up to his ear and began speaking.  
"Listen to me, you bastard. You better never call my husband again. Loose his number, you hear me? Whatever you were hoping for, whatever you think you had: it's over. Let me tell you this, I didn't cheat on Sam, I never would. My marriage isn't going to end any damn time soon if I can help it, especially not over you! Sam is mine! My husband! Father to My son! So you can stay the Hell away from him, from us, and never even try anything again!" Without listening to anything Damien had to say, Dean hung up on him. Sam held his hands up, trying to calm Dean down before the shit hit the fan, if it hadn't already.  
"Dean, listen. He called me, I was telling him not to call, that we were fixing our marriage and that-" Sam cut off when Dean pulled him into a hug.   
"I know Sammy, don't worry, I believe you. I just wanted to tell that son of a bitch that myself." Sam sighed, relaxing in Dean's arms.  
"Well, if everything is good then. Supper is ready, we can eat and you can tell me how work went today."  
"Sounds like a plan." Dean said, pulling away from Sam just enough to smile down at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want, you can go re-skim through Dream Life, I fixed the format, as well as some minor aspects that don't really change the story, just make it more believable such as their home and the amount of money they're getting from the accounts Charlie made them.


	33. Eventually

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little filler chapter before everything else happens.

Bear starting barking loudly, drawing Sam's attention away from the laundry he was working on folding. The dog rushed to the front door, barking, and a moment later there was a knock at the door. Sam set down the shirt he had been folding next to him on the couch and got up to head to answer the door.  
As soon as Sam opened the door and saw who was on the other side he felt like shutting it right away, he didn't need this to happen right now, yet he stood still, just frowning at the unwanted visitor. The visitor let out a sigh of relief.  
"Sam. Thank god, I wasn't sure if you were going to answer the door, or if you would just slam it in my face the moment you saw it was me." Damien said, moving to step into the house, Sam held up a hand stopping him.  
"I should do that. Damien, I told you to stop. I'm trying to fix my marriage, and there is no room for you in my life when I'm with Dean."  
"Sam. He cheated on you-"  
"He didn't. There was a misunderstanding. Actually, I'm the asshole who cheated on _him _. With you."__  
"Sam. Is he forcing you into this? I saw how angry that guy could get, is he controlling you? Sam, just tell me I can help."  
"Damien! No, he's not, and Dean has every right to be angry because you're the guy his husband cheated on him with, of course he's going to be angry with you!"  
"Sam, ok, maybe there was a misunderstanding, ok I'll accept that. But come on, there's something between us, you can't deny that, Sammy you-"  
"Don't call me Sammy." Sam said sharply, cutting him off.  
"Damien. I was scared, and hormonal, and not thinking straight. I let my own insecurities get the best of me. I'm sorry for getting you so involved in this, you're a wonderful guy but this is never going to happen. Ever. I need you to understand that, ok?" Sam said, sternly. Damien let out a sigh.  
"Sam, just think about this-"  
"No. I'm sure in my decision Damien, I'm sorry but you need to go." Damien let out another sigh, one filled with defeat.  
"Can't believe I let the most amazing guy slip through my fingers. I'll go."  
"Thank you." Sam said, a bit more softly than before, glad Damien was accepting it finally, and so gently.  
"Dean's a lucky guy. I wish you the best, you and that kid." Damien said, gesturing towards Sam's middle.  
"Thank you Damien."  
"Oh, and remember, if you ever change your mind or something, you know how to find me." Damien said, grinning.  
Sam just shut the door, shaking his head.

___Damien let out a sigh when he got into his car, looking at the house the man he loved was in. Out of reach, not his, at least not yet.  
He was gonna give Sam space. Let him think, let him see how Dean really was compared to him. He wouldn't hurt his Sam, not like Dean had. He would get his love. Even if it took years before he could make his move.  
He would get him. Eventually._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama :)


	34. Welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you begin reading, I would just like to sincerely apologise for how long it's been since I updated. I just have absolutely no time anymore it seems.  
> I get up, go to classes, go to work, write essays/do homework, then go sleep. I decided though finally, just to get another chapter out, because it's honestly just another things stressing me, and I have enough stress as it is. So, again I'm sorry.

> Because it is in pain that we find the meaning of life.
>
>> Pain. That was the first thing Sam registered waking up. He opened his eyes, sleep clouding his thoughts still. Another stab of pain went though him, making him squeeze his eyes shut again tightly.  
>  What was happening? His brain catalogued the pain, the registering the darkness. _Hell _, he thought at once. Sam breathed through the pain, teeth clenching. Automatically he sat up, and was surprised to see he could, that he wasn't held down. He felt some movement, then wetness against his face, hot and eager. Sam opened his eyes again to see that he was face to face with, not the Devil, but Bear. Feeling more movement at his side Sam looked over and saw Dean, alseep at his side. No, he was home. He was out. Dean got him out. Sam heard a chuckle though, from the chair in the corner of the room.__  
>  "Or maybe that's what I just want you to think." Sam didn't need to look to know who it was.  
>  _I'm not in hell, but a part of it's still here. _Sam ignored Lucifer, instead trying to figure out what the pain that had woken had come from. He could feel really nothing now just whispers of memory of the pain.  
>  _Maybe it was a dream, maybe I was dreaming about hell. I was dreaming the pain. _Sam thought, content with that explanation, he went back to sleep.____
>> 
>> _____ _
>> 
>> Sam woke again, gasping at the shock of pain going through him. Sitting up, Sam breathed through the pain again. He hadn't been dreaming about hell, he knew that. Looking around the room Sam's eyes landed on the clock, seeing it had only been just over a half an hour since he had last woken up. Running his hand over his extended stomach, Sam tried to think over what exactly he'd been dreaming about. A few moments later he fell a firm, and insistent kick under his hand. Sam smiled at his son's movements.  
>  "Well good morning to you too, little one." He whispered.  
>  "I know, it must be awfully cramped in there. You probably can't wait to get out." Sam smiled, then realizing what he'd just said the smile slipped from his face. Gasping, Sam looked down at his stomach, grinning again.  
>  "That's it. You *want* to be out don't!" Sam whispered, excitedly. He was in labor, he was having contractions. Apparently, they were a little over a half hour apart at the moment. Sam turned to Dean, and began to shake him.  
>  "Dean, Dean wake up! Wake up!" Dean woke up quickly, with a jerk.  
>  "What? What's wrong?!" He asked, voice sleep rough. He became alert quickly though, a life time as a hunter meant you had to wake up quickly sometimes or possibly die.  
>  "Sammy?! What's wrong?!" Dean said, worried. Sam grinned at Dean.  
>  "I'm in labor." He whispered, almost not believing it himself. His son was going to be in the world soon. He'd be able to hold Mikey in his arms soon. Dean was silent for a moment, then spoke.  
>  "You're what?!"  
>  "I'm in labor!" Sam said again, more loudly.  
>  "Dean our baby is coming!" Dean sat up quickly then.  
>  "Really?" He said, excitement in his own voice now. Sam nodded.  
>  "I think my contractions are about a little over 30 minutes apart!" Concern quickly flooded Dean's features.  
>  "Contractions. Are you in pain? How bad are they?"  
>  "They're not too bad, they're still far apart and aren't too intense yet. They were just enough to wake me. My water hasn't even broken yet Dean." Dean nodded, and Sam could see the 'pre parental panic' starting to set it. Dean rolled out of bed, and turned on the lights.  
>  "We need to get you to a hospital then."  
>  "Dean, we have plenty of time still."  
>  "Then we need to pack. You need a bag."  
>  "We've already packed one, for me and some things for the baby."  
>  "The we need to double-"  
>  "We already have, and triple checked." Sam said, grinning.  
>  "Everything is ready to go. How about you help me out of bed and downstairs. You can make me some breakfast...." Sam hinted.  
>  Dean nodded, moving to help Sam out of bed.  
>  "Right. Make you Breakfast."  
>  "Then when it's a more decent time we'll call Cas and Charlie and Kevin."  
>  "Right, and Benny too, I'll call him." Dean said. Sam hesitated for a moment, then nodded.  
>  "And Benny."
>> 
>> Sam sat on the couch, eating the final bites of the second serving of scrambled eggs and hash browns Dean had made. Bear was at his feet, clearly begging for bites of food, which Sam was happily giving him. Dean always told him not to, that it was encouraging him. Sam knew though that Dean did the same thing now and then though.  
>  Dean was sitting next to him, arm slung lazily over his shoulders, his own plate of food empty and off to the side. They were watching a Dexter episode. Sam's choice. Dean joked that Sam loved it so much because of his 'thing for serial killers'. Sam wasn't really sure why he liked it, he just did.  
>  Sam sucked in some air suddenly, squeezing Dean's thigh as he rode through his contraction. They were closer together now, and a bit more intense. Dean had called everyone, but told them he'd let them know when to come to the hospital. Sam just wanted it to be him and Dean right now, and Bear of course. Just for the last time before their lives changed together. They wouldn't really be alone like this for a very long time soon.  
>  He knew they'd have to go to the hospital soon, he judged that he'd started his labor while asleep, and he'd been awake now for awhile. He was probably a few hours into his labor now. Yes, they'd go to the hospital soon, but not quite yet. They could finish this episode first. Then they'd go.
>> 
>> "Did I get everything?" Dean asked, looking over the few bags he'd piled into the Impala.  
>  "Yep, that's everything."  
>  "Alright. Let's go have a baby." Dean said, turning to Sam and smiling.  
>  "Let's go have a baby." Sam repeated. 
>> 
>> Dean and Sam walked through the hospital doors and up to the front desk.  
>  "Hello, how may I help you today?" The receptionist asked.  
>  "Hi, my husband, Sam, is in labor." Dean said.  
>  "Oh! Of course! Can I get a full name?"  
>  "Sam Winchester."  
>  "Winchester...like the gun?"  
>  "Yep." They both answered at the same time, looking at each other and smiling.  
>  The receptionist typed it into her computer.  
>  "Alright Sam. Never mind, we already have all your information so you can just head right to the maternity ward. Just head to the elevators and you'll see a button labeled 'maternity' and they'll get you a room up there."  
>  "Perfect, thanks." Dean said, steering Sam towards the elevators.
>> 
>> "Alright, we're just gonna hook you up so we can monitor your vitals. Now did you want anything for the pain? We can start getting an epidural ready for you."  
>  "Uh, I think I'm good for now." Sam said, watching the nurse finish up.  
>  "Alright, let me know if you need anything else then. Know though after a certain point we won't be able to give you one so make sure you make up your mind before then. The doctor will be in to check how dilated you are shortly." The nurse said, before walking out of the room.  
>  Sam turned to Dean after she'd left.  
>  "Have you called everyone?"  
>  "Yep, they're going to all be here within the next hour. Also Jody is flying down."  
>  "What? She didn't need to do that! She was just down here when I.. you know.. passed out."  
>  "Yea well, you really think she's gonna miss this? She's gonna be like a surrogate young grandma to our kid." Dean joked. Sam laughed at that. Then he reached out and took Dean's hand.  
>  "We're gonna have our son soon Dean." Sam said, a soft smile on his face.  
>  "Yea Sammy," Dean said,  
>  "we are." 
>> 
>> "Alright Sam, you're already about 3 and a half centimeters dilated, so you're making good progress." Dr. Paul said, taking off his gloves.  
>  "Now, you're water hasn't broken yet?"  
>  "No, it hasn't." Sam answered.  
>  "Well, expect it to soon then. If you're able to, I suggest walking a but up and down the hall, it can help the labor process." Both Sam and Dean nodded at that.  
>  "Now, I know you've suffered a miscarriage before, so I want to just remind you everything looks great so far. You've carried to term, and both you and the baby are very healthy. We're also going to be taking extra precautions just in case. You and your son are in good hands Sam."  
>  "Thank you doctor." Sam said.  
>  "Alright, well, I'll be in here in around an hour unless you need me in here sooner. Just try to relax, drink pretty of water, and let us know if you need anything." Dr. Paul said before walking out.
>> 
>> Sam had a death grip on Dean's hand. His contractions were becoming worse and closer together. His water had broken earlier, while he was walking up and down the hall with Dean. After that, everything just seemed to have sped up. Charlie, Cas, Kevin, and Benny were all out in the waiting room. They'd been kicked out earlier when it was apparent that Sam was getting close to delivering. Another contraction came, and Sam gritted his teeth through it, before falling back into the pillows.  
>  "Dean." Sam moaned.  
>  "Sammy I'm right here. Want me to get you the doctor? We'll get you an epidural." Sam shook his head no. He'd been to hell and back, he could handle this, no matter how bad it got. People did it all the time. Maybe he would finally get a good memory from pain.
>> 
>> "Alright Sam, you're fully dilated, think you're ready to start pushing?" Doctor Paul asked. Sam nodded.  
>  "Alright, the membrane of skin is opened, no problems there. So when you feel the next contraction, bear down, Ok?" Sam nodded, already feeling his next contraction. As soon as it hit he bore down, squeezing Dean's hand. As soon as it was over he collapsed against the pillows behind him, breathing heavily.  
>  "Good Sam, that was really good. Now get ready to do it again."
>> 
>> "You're doing great Sammy, amazing. You're almost there, just remember, we're gonna have our son soon! You're doing so good. So strong, amazing. You're amazing." Dean was murmuring into Sam's ear, a constant stream of encouragement and reassurance.  
>  There was another person in the room though, on the other side of Sam.  
>  "You think this is pain? Remember hell? God, look at you, crying over this. This is nothing. You're so weak, so pathetic. You really think you can do this? You can't!"  
>  _I can, I am. _thought Sam__ He did his best to ignore the Devil, instead focusing on Dean's voice. "Just think, you'll be able to hold him soon. Not to much longer, doing so good Sammy, I love you so much." Sam just squeezed Dean's hand, throwing occasional insults at Dean, which he knew he'd feel bad for later but he didn't care about that right now. Dean was the reason he was pregnant, and Dean was the only person he could scream at and it wouldn't matter later right now. Everything he was saying at Dean was just bouncing off him, not affecting him thankfully. There was a moment though when Sam has yelled at Dean to get the hell out, and Dean had actually started to do so until Sam's contraction ended and he started crying for Dean to come back, don't leave him.  
>  Sam was drenched in sweat, he felt exhausted in everyway possible. He just wanted to stop, and sleep for a week. The baby would surely wait another week, right?  
>  "Alright Sam, get ready. You're almost there, I can see the head! Give me a big push and the baby will be crowning!" Sam sighed, and prepared to push again. He let out a yell of pain as the contraction came through him. It felt like he was being split in half as he felt his son starting to crown and leave his body.  
>  "Amazing, you're doing amazing. Just a few more good pushes."  
>  Dean pressed a kiss to Sam's temple before speaking again.  
>  "Hear that Sammy? Only a few more pushes and you'll be holding our son." Sam smiled, despite the pain, he was so close to having his son. He bore down through another contraction, then another, until finally he felt all the pressure suddenly just flow out of him, and a moment later a piercing scream. Sam lifted his head up, to see the doctor lift the baby up.  
>  "Congratulations! It's a boy!" Dr. Paul announced.  
>  "My son." Sam breathed.  
>  "Mr. Winchester, would you like to do the honors?" Dean, who was seemingly frozen looking at the baby looked up at the doctor.  
>  "Yes. Of course!" He said, and followed the doctor's instruction to cut the chord. Then the nurse was taking the baby to clean and check him over quick before bundling him up with a blanket and bringing him over to Sam. She handed the baby to Sam gently, helping him cradle the new born against his chest before stepping away.  
>  "Oh god." Sam cried.  
>  "He's beautiful."  
>  "He is." Dean agreed, leaning in, in awe.  
>  "Welcome to the world." Dean whispered to their son.  
>  "Do you have a name?" The nurse asked.  
>  "Yes." Sam said.  
>  "Michael Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart who's followed along with this story, and this series in general! This specific work is finished, but I will he continuing along with this series! Sam and Dean's story is far from being over! I hope you'll all stay along for the ride!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Let me know what y'all think of this story, comments are loved!  
> As always, more to come with this series.
> 
> READ  
> You can read the alternate ending to this series with the link below.  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/5737498


End file.
